


Biological Imperative

by EquinoxSolstice



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Erwin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Beta Levi, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Cheating, Dubious Consent, Established Levi/Eren Yaeger, Infidelity, M/M, Omega Eren, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 01:45:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 49,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2904755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EquinoxSolstice/pseuds/EquinoxSolstice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A work-in-progress fill for <a href="http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/13546.html?thread=9468906#cmt9468906">this prompt</a> on the kink meme, revised and beta'd.</p><p>Eren Jaeger's heart and soul belonged to Corporal Levi. There was no question about that. Despite their bodies fundamentally forbidding it, an Omega fell in love with a Beta.</p><p>A love that was, against all odds, reciprocated.</p><p>But how? How could Eren explain to the Corporal that he was also drawn to someone else? That his body was yearning for blond hair and deep blue eyes, whose mere presence always made his heart  race and his knees weak?</p><p>
  <em>"Your body was made for me." </em>
</p><p>Who would believe an Omega if they said they loved a Beta when the rival was an Alpha?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alpha-Beta-Omega

**Author's Note:**

> So, due to popular demand, I'm posting Biological Imperative here in Ao3 so that people would be able to track it down faster, easier, and they don't have to go to dreamwidth all the time to check if there are updates for this fill.
> 
> This was first posted in the SnK Kink meme, because I'm weak towards these kinds of plot lines. If you weren't reading the tags, I'm gonna warn you right now. There is cheating, angst, and future smut, as well as some violence. I revised the chapters I already posted, adding stuff and checking for grammar and all. 
> 
> Basically, this is A/B/O featuring an Erwin-Eren-Levi love triangle in canon.
> 
> Also, I have a [tumblr](http://equinoxsolstice.tumblr.com). Feel free to ask anything there!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it came to be. The start.

Humanity followed an order of nature. 

They didn't know how it came to be, it just was, and everyone was expected to go with the natural flow of the world. The reason was simple: life was more manageable when they did, and if you were born that way, why try to fight it? The body knew more about itself than you yourself did, and it was so much  _easier_  to just let it give in to what it wanted. 

Eren Jaeger was finding that he wasn't a stickler for rules.

He was born as one of the unique classes of Humanity: an Omega. An omega who wore his heart on his sleeve, who saw his hometown devoured by Titans, and who also happened to have the ability to turn into a fifteen-meter Titan. Omegas were prized and exceedingly rare as the carriers of Humanity's future generations. Their counterparts, Alphas, were more common, although their classes couldn't compare to the number of Betas, the most common class of Humanity. 

Almost everyone he knew was a Beta. For as long as Eren can remember he was constantly teased about his Omega status; it was harder to live as one. Suffering through once-a-month heats once he reached sexual maturity, being able to affect everyone with his constantly haywiring pheromones and getting the brunt of breeding and housewife jokes... it seemed like the Walls were trying to make a cosmic joke out of him, letting Humanity see who they were entrusting their Hope to: a fifteen-year-old who had to take suppressants lest he shift once he got into his moods. 

Humanity's Strongest was a Beta. Despite his "ordinary" status no one could boast a higher Titan kill count than him, no one could say he couldn't go toe-to-toe with the Alphas who were in the military and even succeeding better than them. It was one of the reasons why Eren looked up to Lance Corporal Levi so much; he simply gave no fucks and defied every expectation set upon him. 

That admiration turned into something more.

It was... complicated, the relationship with his Corporal. It was wrong in all the right ways: an older, human superior with a younger titan-shifter subordinate. Eren had always admired him since he was a little boy, seeing him for the first time as the Scouting Legion prepared to go outside the walls. So strong, so brave. Eren wanted to be a part of them. He wanted to ride beside the Corporal to see the world beyond the Walls, to explore all the places Armin told him from the forbidden book.

Fire water. Lands of ice. Fields of sand. The ocean. Eren wanted to see it all. 

And then Trost happened.

Sorrow. Grief. Victory came at a heavy price, and Eren accepted the responsibility of being Humanity's Hope, the ray of light that would lead them to victory against the Titans. Being a part of the Scouting Legion was a dream come true, even if it wasn't exactly the way Eren imagined it to be, and the fact that he was under the Corporal's supervision was a complete bonus. Of course, one toe out of line and he would instantly be killed, but the Corporal saved his life during the trial. And since then, Eren felt so conscious of the Corporal, noticing him for the first time not as a hero, but as a person.

As a man.

Eren didn't know what he was thinking when he confessed to the Corporal afterwards. It might be sheer stupidity fueling him at that time, but it just slipped out, and Eren was treated to the glorious sight of the Corporal looking dumbfounded for the first time in his life. He couldn't help it; he was a teenager, an _Omega_ teenager whose hormones got the worse of him most of the time. Eren wanted to run away, face blushing so darkly he looked sunburned, but there were only so many nights he could dream of the Corporal and wake up with a painful ache between his legs before he lost his sanity. 

_"... I can't promise you anything. But if you're willing to give it a shot, then so am I."_

Biologically. they weren't compatible at all; it was one of the reasons why it took so long for the Corporal to accept (well, to verbally admit it to Eren's face that he felt the same way, anyway) his feelings. As a Beta, he couldn't satisfy an Omega's needs, not for a lack of trying. Eren always whimpered for something bigger, something  _more_  when the heats came, and the devastated expression on the older man's face broke Eren's heart in a way that shouldn't be possible. The sex was wonderful, definitely, but if it's within the heat... Eren shook his head. No, he couldn't think that way anymore. 

Eren didn't want an Alpha; he wanted Levi. Even if his Corporal couldn't make his body shake with lust and need, even if Levi couldn't knot him like a proper Alpha could when his heats came, they had each other, and Eren was happy enough with that.

"Brat." Eren turned around and smiled at the Corporal leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and steel-grey eyes conveying hidden warmth. Levi crossed the room and placed a hand on his cheek, Eren leaning into it easily, content with the simple touch.

Sure, it didn't make his skin flush, his heart skip a beat, but the safety and security of that connection Eren would not exchange for anything.

"If I see a speck of dust on that window, I'm kicking your ass." 

"I did them first!" Eren protested, holding the rag closer to him in defense, still grinning widely. "I even washed the window panes twice!"

The light cuff on his cheek was more of an affectionate caress. "Knowing you, twice isn't close to enough. I want that window so clean my ass will leave a print on it when I check on it later." 

"Y-Yes, sir!" 

"Levi." 

At least, until Commander Erwin Smith came into his life.

The sharp knock on the door interrupted their moment.  Levi dropped his hand and and Eren desperately hoped that his Corporal took his tense body as a sign of surprise because once again, his body was starting to betray him. The Commander was leaning against the doorway, staring at them pleasantly. How long had he been there?  

"Yeah?"

"I need you to go downstairs, they're unloading the wagons and the others don't know where they should put the supplies."

"Lazy ass, you just don't wanna organize our shit." Levi rolled his eyes at the blond and Eren clenched the rag so tightly it almost tore in his grip. The Commander laughed, and it rang in Eren's ears. "You see right through me. You're better with it than I am."

Levi snorted. "And you call yourself our fucking Commander. Fine, I'm going. Brat, remember what I said."

"Y-Yes!" Eren kept his gaze on Levi, studiously ignoring the heavy, blue eyed gaze he knew was turned his way. He willed himself not to react, but the heat at the tip of his ears and the way Levi's eyebrow raised told him he wasn't quite managing it. 

His heart was pounding.

"See you later, assholes. Look after my brat, Erwin." Levi's eyes were warm as he both left them to it, brushing against Erwin with the audacity and attitude of an Alpha. Eren bit his lip to stop himself from speaking, almost raising his arm to catch the Corporal's sleeve and asking him to stay, but the older man was already walking out of the door. Erwin merely smiled and sent him off with a smile, waiting until the stomp of Levi's boots disappeared entirely. 

Eren swallowed thickly when the Commander entered the room and shut the door behind him, the turn of the lock making Eren's heartbeat gallop in his chest. 

The atmosphere of the room changed instantly.

"Commander..."

It was easy enough to see which class Commander Erwin Smith belonged to. Tall, handsome, a natural leader with charisma to boot, he was an Alpha that seemed to out-dom all others. He led with an assurance and confidence that seemed to border on arrogance, but his heart was always in the right place, always for the betterment of Humanity. Eren knew enough that his body was just reacting on instinct, that his feelings for this man didn't go beyond simple respect, even companionship, but... 

"Eren." 

"S-Sir?" Eren would never,  _ever_  tell his lover how flushed he felt right now, stepping back instinctively as Erwin stepped towards him. One step. Two steps. Three steps. The rag he was holding fell from his trembling grip, continuously retreating until his back was against the nearest wall.

His heart was pounding, breaths quickening as Erwin slowly closed the distance between them, hands planting themselves on either side of his head, bodies almost pressed chest-to-chest, the taller blond oozing raw power and dominance. It made Eren want to sink to his knees, nails scratching against the stone behind him to distract him from his sudden thoughts.

He was trapped.

It was a dance they've been doing ever since Commander Erwin Smith laid eyes on him. 

His breath caught when a finger caressed his cheek. "Please, d-don't." He said, voice barely better than a whisper, turning his face away. Oh, Maria. He couldn't breathe.

Fingers hooked under his jaw and tilted his head up, and Eren couldn't resist, craning his head and parting his lips despite the hysteric screaming inside his head.

"Does he know?" Erwin asked simply, not stopping the finger running down to trace his mouth, lingering over his trembling lower lip. Then it went down, slowly dragged to his neck, the tip just resting above his throat. Eren swallowed thickly, felt his knees weakening. Oh, walls. 

"N-No." And he should never, ever know, a voice in his head said fiercely, but right now his mind was fogged with the familiar musky, masculine scent, biting off the distressed whine that threatened to escape when the Commander pulled his touch away. 

"You and Levi are not physically compatible." The truth was a stab to the gut, but Eren refused to give in, no matter how much his body seemed to beg for it. "Despite this, you continue to persevere. It's admirable, Eren." 

"I love him, sir." Tears were gathering in his eyes as guilt weighed down on him. His fingers trembled, because he shouldn't want this, shouldn't want to pull the Commander closer, he loved his Corporal,  _he loved Levi--!_

"But love isn't enough." Erwin said quietly, before leaning forward and brushing their lips together, feather light and brief.

It broke Eren's walls, and instinct took over.

He surged forward, yanking the Commander into a kiss that made his blood burn and his body melt, fingers digging into Erwin's arms as mouths sloppily met and tongues tangled into a battle Erwin won easily. His hands couldn't keep still, running over broad shoulders, shoulder blades, neck, while a large hand cradled the back his head, running through his hair, an arm wrapping itself around his waist, pressed together so closely he could almost feel the thunder of the other man's heart against his chest, almost going on tiptoe as he was consumed, completely and utterly. 

Eren felt weak, so helpless and overwhelmed, but it felt so good, so  _right_ , to be held like this. To feel those muscled arms around him, like he was a possession, lit a fire under his skin. He didn't want the Commander to let go, wanted to forever feel hear his heartbeat alongside his, he couldn't remember another time without Erwin and he didn't want to--!

Minutes, hours, days passed before Erwin abruptly pulled back, breathing hard, and Eren sagged against the wall, shoulders heaving, face burning, pants tight, and overcome with shame. 

It happened again. 

"You want me." Erwin whispered, catching Eren's bottom lip in a way that made Eren moan, and the growl rumbling in the Commander's throat. "You taste so sweet, Eren." He murmured against Eren's jaw, hands sliding down to frame his hips, foreheads pressed together.

"Stop..." Eren closed his eyes, body craving the other man's touch while his mind screamed for someone to save him. Another kiss, and a whisper against a pair of bruised lips. "Please, Commander..."

"Your body was made for me." Six words, just six words were enough to break him. Eren slumped to the ground, tears freely streaming down his face as he touched his lips, so hot from those earlier kisses, and the guilt that always came along with it. 

His vision blurred as the Commander spoke above him. "And I'll make sure that your heart will follow." With those parting words Erwin left, leaving Eren sick and disgusted with himself.

He needed his Corporal. But he wanted the Commander too. At least his body did, like all Omegas did when it came to an Alpha. Eren couldn't stop himself, it was the natural order of things. If he didn't love the Corporal as he did, Eren was sure he would have willingly warmed the Commander's sheets, and gladly.

Eren knew this was another encounter he couldn't tell his lover, another out of so many Eren couldn't keep count. The guilt was almost too much to bear. But this time, Eren realized, something was different. Something was changing.

The Commander was serious. He just raised the stakes higher.

_And I'll make sure that your heart will follow._

He placed his face into his hands, and silently screamed.


	2. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren cleans himself up. Confessions in the right place but in the wrong time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second revised part is up. Not much changes, I liked this part, as short as it was. So. Angst, Mikasa and Armin, and an Ereri moment that should've been sweet but it's not.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Also, Armin is an Alpha because fuck a/b/o stereotypes.~~
> 
>  
> 
> Again, this is my [tumblr](http://equinoxsolstice.tumblr.com). Feel free to ask anything!

The first thing Eren did after regaining sensation in his legs was to take a long, cold shower.  
  
Cleaning up was necessity, but actually taking some time to wash yourself after a long day was a luxury. Taking off his clothes, ice-cold drops drenched his skin but Eren gritted his teeth, dipping the buckets in the water and splashing himself, again and again.  
  
The burn of the Commander's touch lingered on his mouth, slowly washed away by the frost of the water. His cheeks still felt hot and the Commander's scent would also linger still, and it was one of those times Eren was terribly glad his lover was so meticulous towards cleanliness.  
  
As an Omega, his personal toiletries were all specially made, laced with a mild suppressant to make his scent as neutral as possible. He lathered himself with soap, taking the rough, exfoliating rock he usually used and scrubbed at every part he could reach, scraping until his skin was red and blistering and then some more.  
  
He had to make sure. He had to be careful. He had to be clean for his Corporal. He couldn't stand dirtiness.  
  
Eren was dirty, unclean.  
  
The Commander tasted like liquid fire, consuming him from the inside out.  
  
Eren rubbed at his mouth furiously and threw the rock away, silent tears echoing throughout the room. 

* * *

Eren couldn't look at anyone in the eye during dinner. 

He pulled his bowl closer to him, honestly having no appetite but he learned his lesson about skipping meals. Swallowing another mouthful of barely edible gruel, he was aware of the lingering stares on him but ignored them with well-practiced ease. Even with mild suppressants, his scent wasn't completely masked, and everyone who wasn't an Omega was always aware of one in their midst. He needed his strength, as little as it was.   
  
The Commander wasn't present, but then again he rarely attended dinner with the rest of the Legion, too busy with its politics to even take care of himself. Eren felt a pang of worry for the man, but immediately brushed it off.   
  
 _Stop._  His grip tightened on the spoon enough to split it in two.  
  
 _Stop thinking about him._  
  
"Eren." The sound of his name made Eren look up, seeing Mikasa and Armin taking their places around him, mostly habit, some instinct. Protect the Omega.   
  
It pissed Eren off.  
  
"I didn't see you earlier. Are you all right? Did someone hurt you? Are you taking your suppressants?" Mikasa immediately asked, looking at him with concern in her dark eyes. She was a Beta, but her fierce protectiveness over him rivaled any Alpha, nose flaring as if taking tabs of his pheromones through scent alone.   
  
Knowing her, she probably was.  
  
"I'm fine, Mikasa. Stop henning," Eren waved away the concern, taking great care not to meet Armin's eye. No one would think that small, petite Armin was an Alpha, but the way he had led Mikasa and Eren to safety from their younger days at Trost was proof enough of that.   
  
No one could deny Armin's Alpha status if he managed to out-dom  _Annie_ , who was one of the coldest, stubborn Omegas Eren knew.   
  
"Mikasa's right. Eren, I could still smell you from here. Didn't you take your suppressants?" Armin asked, mirroring Mikasa's concern, and despite himself Eren softened. He knew Armin didn't mean to influence him consciously, Alphas just had that subtle control over the other classes, especially Omegas. And especially since he was Eren's Alpha, in the strict familial sense. Every family had an Alpha, and it just so happened that Armin was his and Mikasa's.  
  
"Hange told me to let my heat cycle happen as naturally as it could be. I'm just taking the contraceptives." Human biology, as Hanji found out, also had an effect on the Titans. Titans preferred to eat Omegas more than the rest of the classes, their olfactory senses sharp enough to pick out the difference. It was easily proved by the fact that all the Titans flocked to Eren after he shifted; even in Titan form they still knew the Omega controlling it from within.  
  
Suppressants were a tremendous help, but it had the side-effect of a longer, more terrible heat cycle once you got off it, something Eren could do without. Hanji advised him to let the cycle run through its course when they were in the Walls, where it's safer, and to take the suppressants only when they were in battle to minimize the aftereffects. Thankfully, his heat cycle was fairly regular.  
  
But the contraceptives were always at the top of his list, swallowing a pill every single day without fail. Eren shuddered. Maria forbid. No. Just... _no_. Not now. He was too young, he was a  _solider_ , and Humanity needed him right now. His body was capable of bearing children, but was it something he wanted? Settling down, having a family...   
  
An image of the Commander flashed through his mind and Eren slammed his forehead on the table hard enough to rattle it. Heads swiveled in their direction, some already standing up to help the Omega in distress, but his sister and best friend were faster.  
  
"Eren?!" Mikasa and Armin were hovering over him in a second, and Eren groaned, the pain doing its job and making him focus, but his thoughts were filled with the Corporal instead, filling Eren with a guilt that was almost too unbearable to face.   
  
What could he say to Levi right now? How would Eren tell that his heart and soul was for him while his body was being pulled in by the Commander? How could the Corporal still love him when Eren was betraying his trust every single time?  
  
Dirty.  
  
He wanted to claw at his skin.  
  
Unclean.  
  
Eren felt like he was going to be sick.  
  
Undeserving.  
  
"What do I do?" Eren whispered, wrapping his arms around himself, shaking as Mikasa tucked him closer to herself, hiding him from curious, prying eyes, Armin wrapping his hands around them both, blue eyes sharp and using his pheromones to warn away the rest from approaching. "I don't know what to do, Mikasa, Armin..."   
  
"Eren, Eren, shh..." Mikasa stroked his hair slowly, Armin's weight beside him feeling him with comfort, the scent of  _home_  and  _family_  drifting around him, grounding in a way that was calming and soothing. "We're here, we'll protect you." Even if they didn't know what was wrong, if they were going to be more worried after this moment, the mere fact that they were at his back was soothing. He knew he would need to explain himself later, but right now, he didn't care.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll keep you safe, Eren." Armin said, arms tightening around him, and Eren could only nod, while his insides were writhing with shame.

* * *

His little episode in the dining hall reached everyone in the Legion, even the Corporal.  
  
"Come with me." His voice was short and clipped, grasping Eren's wrist and dragging him away from silent, mindful eyes. "You're a shitty brat, you know that?"  
  
"Wha--Corporal, wait!" Eren stumbled as he followed the Corporal's back, not for a lack of willingness but more of a fear that his arm would be pulled right out of its sockets, even if he could regrow them back. "I still have to finish the chores--!"  
  
"Fuck that."  
  
"But Corporal--"  
  
"For fuck's sake, shut up and just follow. Or do you want me to kick your ass for insubordination?"  
  
Eren swallowed back his protest, tips of his ears burning as he was led upstairs to the more secluded parts of the castle, to the familiar corridor that led to the Corporal's quarters.   
  
The grip on his wrist was warm and firm, not constricting. Slowly, that smaller, calloused hand moved forward, sliding down to catch his hand and holding it gently, not pulling, but leading.  
  
The touch grounded him, kept him in this time and moment. Eren looked at their linked fingers and blushed brightly.   
  
It made his pulse stutter.  
  
Eren's heart was pounding again, for a different reason. His heart always did, when he was around the Corporal, but it didn't burn. It didn't hurt. Not like with the Commander. A thumb stroked his knuckles, and Eren jumped, the affectionate gesture not going unnoticed.   
  
It made the guilt he felt heavier.   
  
Before he knew it, he was thrown on the bed and the Corporal was over him, pinning him down on the sheets, hands linked and pressed down with some significant force.  
  
Eren couldn't move, even if he wanted to.   
  
"Look at me." The Corporal was no Alpha, but the timbre of his voice made Eren unable to not follow, teal eyes to meet blue-grey, narrow and intense, looking into his very core and slowly taking away any resistance Eren might've had.   
  
It wasn't with force. Never with force.  
  
"Talk to me, Eren."   
  
 _What's wrong?_  
  
The Corporal never talked about things that needed to be said out loud. He didn't show his affections publicly, didn't show he favored Eren over everyone else, but actions infinitely spoke louder than words. The way his hands ran down Eren's arms to stroke a thumb against his cheek, the very same spot the Commander touched hours ago, and instead of burning, it tingled. A caress.   
  
"I need you, Levi." Eren whispered desperately. "So much."  _I love you._  No one could comprehend how much Eren loved him, how far he would go not to lose this man's affection for him. He was so terrified, so scared of the consequences of his actions.   
  
"You look like you're about to jump out of your skin." Levi's hand paused, and instantly held Eren's face, still so gentle when his words were not. "Did someone hurt you? Harassed you? Was it one of your friends? One of the assholes in the Legion?" He hissed, jaw tight while a growl rumbled in his throat "One of those Alpha-superiority fuckers? I swear Eren, if they've been fucking around with you--!"   
  
"No! No one..." _Say the truth_ , Eren's mind was whispering. _Tell him what you did._ He didn't want to lie to the Corporal. "No one hurt me. But--!"   
  
"Don't lie. You look like you're gonna keel over anytime. Tell me. Who is it? I'll make sure those assholes don't see the light of day again--!"  
  
 _Say it. It's your fault. You gave in._  
  
Eren stared at his lover, in awe at the onslaught of his protectiveness, so proud to have his high regard, and completely aware that he didn't deserve him. Not after what he did. What he was doing.   
  
 _You betrayed the man you loved._  
  
"I love you."   
  
They had never said it out loud, much less each other. Levi stopped, staring at him with such blank shock Eren would've laughed if the situation was different. It reminded him so much of the first time, when Eren confessed his attraction to the older man. Eren was trembling, once again on the verge of tears because he wasn't supposed to say that, not yet, not when everything was so complicated.  
  
The Corporal finally sighed, body unwinding as he all but collapsed on top of Eren.   
  
"Me too, you brat. Goddamnit." A hard kiss on his mouth, one that made his stomach flutter and clench at the same time. "You gave me a fucking heart attack. I thought something was wrong."   
  
How could Eren tell him now? Now that he knew Levi felt the same way?  
  
"I just... love you." He said helplessly, and the tears that slid down his face as Levi kissed him again wasn't from happiness. 

* * *

Eren slept in Levi's bed that night.  
  
It wasn't so much that they wanted to keep their relationship on the down-low, though it was necessary, but more on the fact that Levi wasn't supposed to be attached to the child-shifter who could go berserk on humanity at any second. That Eren was an Omega was worse; already when he was a trainee some were questioning his ability to follow orders and retaining control of himself, all stereotypical bullshit about Omegas, hormonal imbalances, and their emotional weaknesses.   
  
As if Eren would let anything stop him.  
  
He couldn't sleep. Even when his Corporal was deeply unconscious, half-draped on top of his naked chest, Eren couldn't let himself relax, tensing once more when the tip of Levi's nose brushed against his jaw.  
  
Could Levi manage to scent the Commander on him? He scrubbed himself until every part of him was bleeding, but still Eren couldn't stop the mind-numbing paranoia that maybe he missed something, maybe the soap didn't do its job and some part of him still had the Commander's mark--!   
  
"Stop thinking so much. Go to sleep. You're crushing me, Sweet Sina." Levi grunted under him, still half-asleep, and Eren literally jumped, letting go of the Corporal as if directly under a hot flame.  
  
"S-Sorry."   
  
Levi grunted again and shifted positions, cheek on Eren's collarbone and nosing the end of his jaw. Usually Eren relished in moments like this, being able to hold his Corporal close, letting his heat and presence wash over him and drag him into sweet sleep. But after his run-in with the Commander just hours ago, he couldn't let his guard down. Not until he's certain the Corporal couldn't find something off with him.  
  
"You smell good, Eren." Levi mumbled, tucking himself closer, and Eren almost melted in relief. "Like... tea leaves."  
  
...Tea leaves? But Armin said he usually smelled like fresh grass and sunshine--  
  
Eren stayed awake all night staring at Levi's sleeping form, trying not to hyperventilate. 

* * *

The next day, another expedition outside the walls was announced, and it was happening within a few weeks.  
  
Once again the Scouting Legion was abuzz with life. There were a lot of things to prepare: rations, equipment, horses. Training the new recruits happened almost everyday, as well as learning the formation they used for outside to decrease their chances of dying.   
  
Eren had no time to dwell over the state of his complicated romantic life. There were horses to tend to, chores to be finished, gears to be maintained, training to be done. He had Shifter training in addition to all the things they all had to do, to Hanji's immense delight and for him to figure out how to use his Titan form more effectively.  
  
"Eren," Hanji stopped him just as they finished for the day, Eren so sore and weak he wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't walk tomorrow. Hanji was a Beta, which Eren thanked the Walls for because catastrophic things would happen if Hanji had the Alpha's influence over other classes. "When was the last time you had your heat?"   
  
Last time? Eren thought about it, and was struck with the realization that it should be close, possibly even within the week. "I... I didn't realize. Thank you for reminding me."   
  
Hanji nodded and gave a knowing look, making Eren turn slightly pink. Hanji insisted that their interest in Eren was purely scientific, but Eren knew this was the way Hanji showed they cared. "Make sure you also prepare, okay? I'll have the other Omegas stay nearby you as well so we wouldn't have to worry about them during the expedition."  
  
Eren nodded. Bring two or more Omegas together with one of them in heat, and it would trigger the cycle with all of them, causing them to go through the heat cycle almost at the same time. It was a blessing for Omega soldiers who had to worry about going into heat during battle, even with suppressants helping them out. Disrupting a natural heat cycle had some serious consequences, and should only be done when strictly necessary.  
  
They had rooms in the basements just for heats, although if an Omega was attached to an Alpha, they were excused to let the Alpha help the Omega through it. Since it's a monthly occurrence, a heat cycle lasts 1 to 2 days, at the most. Going through a heat cycle alone was almost unbearable, the body craving for something it couldn't have at that moment. It was the primal urge to mate, to continue the species of humanity, but it didn't justify how utterly exhausted and hungry Eren was afterwards.  
  
Waving away Hanji's pleads for him to shift when in heat, ("Once, just once, Eren, I have to know how it affects your Titan body!") Eren trudged to the castle, filthy and covered in dirt from head to toe. He wanted to sleep and he was worked to the bone. His eyes could barely keep themselves open and the moment he tripped on a loose brick within the castle corridor was almost welcome, maybe the impact would knock him out for a couple of hours.   
  
His face met something soft, but firm. Warm. He wanted to snuggle into it. That's strange, the brick had never been this soft...  
  
"Careful there." A deep voice said above him, filled with amusement, and Eren instantly reacted, scrambling away from Commander Erwin's propped arms, presumably to help break his fall.  
  
Of all the times to meet the tall, blond, gorgeous Commander, did it have to be  _now_ , when Eren was as far from being attentive as he should be?! Eren had the worst luck in the world. He wanted to run away. He didn't want to meet the Commander.  
  
His feet weren't moving, but his mouth was.  
  
"I am so sorry Commander I didn't notice you I also got your uniform dirty oh Maria I can wash that for you please forgive me--!!"  
  
Erwin lifted a finger to halt the tirade, and Eren instantly shut up, body following the simple command while his mind was still babbling like a rampaging Titan, "Calm down, Eren. Dirt is a part of our work in the Legion, I'm not mad." His blue eyes were kind and understanding, instantly making Eren's body loose and warm. "Thank you for your hard work."   
  
"Sir!" Eren saluted, unable to deny the pleasure that came with the Commander's words. But he might've pushed his body too much, because his vision suddenly doubled and he was pitching forward, feet suddenly uncoordinated and disconnected from his brain--  
  
Strong, muscled arms encircled his torso, cheek propped against the Commander's solid chest, tender, almost... loving.  
  
His heart started thundering in his chest.  
  
"I've got you, Eren." The Commander said softly and Eren flushed a bright red, steam almost rising out from his head. Shit, shit, shit!   
  
He couldn't pull away.  
  
"We shouldn't push you too much." Erwin sighed, still holding him close. "Despite your determination Eren, don't forget your body as well. You won't be of much use to us if you suddenly faint in the middle of formation."  
  
"... I'm sorry." Eren mumbled, because he worried his Commander as well as his Corporal. He was a terrible soldier.   
  
Thinking about the Corporal brought in another barrage of emotions he didn't want to think about right now.  
  
But the solid, inviting presence of the Commander in front of him rendered those emotions almost non-existent. Maybe it was the mixture of exhaustion and the presence of an Alpha, but Eren felt like he was floating on a cloud, body limp and almost pliant in the Commander's arms. "Come on. To bed with you."   
  
Eren didn't notice how effortlessly the Commander picked him up, knees swept up and braced on the Commander's forearm, the other tucking his shoulder closer, face buried in the crook of the Commander's neck. His fingers clung to the white shirt, the scent of fresh spring water filling his senses and making him sink down to its cooler depths.   
  
The last thing he remembered was the press of warm lips on his hair, and it made his scalp tingle.

* * *

He didn't know where he was when he woke up.  
  
The bed he was on was impossibly comfortable. It felt like one of those candies Sasha liked so much, the squishy ones that all but melt on your mouth once you bit into it. Eren gathered the sheets closer to him and hummed, burying his face in the covers and sniffing. It smelled so good, like a fresh spring, and he wanted to swim, take a dip, let himself be surrounded by the cool, refreshing water.  
  
"Are you awake?"  
  
The voice had Eren shooting up from the bed and turning towards its direction.  
  
It was the first time he saw the Commander so casual. Just a white shirt and pants, lounging on the chair in the nearby desk, pendant peeking through the first undone buttons, feet bare. Eren's mouth instantly dried, heart in his throat. Where was he? What was he doing here?   
  
 _Why was he alone with the Commander on a bed?!_  
  
"Why, what--?!"  
  
"I brought you here because it's more convenient. You needed rest, and my chambers are readily available. I cleaned you up as well, I hope you don't mind." Erwin placed down the papers he was looking at and gazed directly at Eren, who just noticed his state of undress. Eren squeaked and pulled the sheets closer to him, frantically checking if he had been touched, if there were any marks, oh, walls, please don't, he was lying enough to his Corporal already--!  
  
Erwin chuckled, deep, throaty, and it made Eren shiver. "Don't worry. You still have your dignity. Despite what you might hear about me Eren, I would never take advantage of someone without their consent."  
  
Eren didn't know what color his face was right now. How could he think of his Commander like that? "Commander, I didn't mean to--"  
  
"Just Erwin is fine when we're here. And apology accepted. Considering how I've been acting towards you these fast few days, your caution is expected, even warranted." Erwin stood up, and went towards him, making Eren's toes curl into the sheets. If it was possible, the Commander's presence seemed  _more_  here, and being surrounded by him was almost overwhelming.  
  
Eren couldn't breathe. He couldn't remember how.  
  
Erwin sat down on the side of the bed, just close enough to touch, but only just. But he kept his distance, but it wasn't enough to erase the vulnerability Eren was feeling.   
  
The lamplight played beautifully on the Commander's features, casting shadows on his handsome face as he looked at Eren with an intensity that took his breath away. Eren couldn't think. He couldn't move. Couldn't let himself move.  
  
If he did it would be to kiss the man in front of him and let him have his way with him, right on this bed.  
  
"I will be frank with you, Eren." Eren's blood was singing, trying to reach for the older man, but his heart kept him in place. His feelings for his  _Corporal_  were keeping him in place.  
  
"I want you."  
  
He knew that, but actually hearing it said out out was a punch to the gut. His breath stuttered, insides tightening in... anticipation?  
  
"You are beautiful." Erwin said softly, now lifting his hand and tracing Eren's cheek with a finger. His touch sizzled and burned. "and an Omega. You are determined to our cause, shining so brightly as Humanity's Hope that I find myself having hope once more when almost all has been lost."  
  
"S-Sir, I..."  
  
"Let me finish." Erwin placed a finger on Eren's lips. Eren wanted to suck it into his mouth, wanted to see the expression on the Commander's face if he did.  
  
His heart was crying pitifully.   
  
"For a very long time, I've devoted myself to the freedom of Humanity. I've given up a woman I loved to another man, let men die under my command, let other families feel the pain of a loved one lost because of what I had to do. When you came you were the anomaly, the spark that I thought I gave up long ago. And I thought that I could give you up too. I had to lose everything to make up for the pain I had caused others. I can't be happy because I made people unhappy as well."

Eren's chest suddenly ached for the man. He couldn't imagine it, ordering people to their deaths, having the weight of your killed subordinates on your shoulders. No wonder the Commander looked to immovable, any emotion he would display would be considered weakness.

_If only,_ Eren suddenly found himself thinking,  _if only he just had someone..._  
  
"But I couldn't. Eren, you forced your way into my heart in a way I couldn't ignore or forget. Those bright eyes of yours," blue eyes flickered to them, staring directly and ripping away whatever defense Eren had left. "Caught me. Ensnared me. And this is something I can't ignore. I've thought for a very long time that I wouldn't feel something like this again."  
  
"I don't understand..." He whispered, lips brushing against the calloused pad. Eren was desperate. Why? Why was the Commander telling him these things?   
  
"Choose me, Eren." Erwin moved closer, enough for Eren to feel the scorching heat of him, chest so tight it ached. "Leave Levi and choose me. I can give you what you need, what you want, not just your body, but your heart as well. Give me a chance to prove myself worthy of you, and I am, because I--"  
  
Eren's heart stopped.   
  
 _Please don't say it._  
  
"I love you, Eren Jaeger." 


	3. Intent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Answers are said. Lines are drawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter. The introduction of the former 104th, and some Eren/Armin bonding.
> 
> Don't hesitate to message me on [tumblr](http://equinoxsolstice.tumblr.com)if you have questions or requests!!! Will revise the other parts (and add another chapter) soon, so wait for it!

The automatic answer left Eren's lips before he thought about it.  
  
"I love him, sir. I love Corporal Levi."  
  
Silence. Blue eyes darkened, and Eren was pushed back against the pillows, the Commander's arms bracketing him from both sides, pinning him in place. If not for the blanket between them, Eren would be able to feel the slide of the Commander's clothes against his bare skin, faces within a hairsbreadth of each other. Eren's fingers clenched, as the Commander's scent hit him like a cannon, rich, thick, and heady. It was making his head spin.  
  
"Then look me in the eye and tell me you will never be able to return what I feel for you." Erwin said quietly. "Do it, right now, and I will accept my defeat and leave you be. I will bless your relationship with Levi and wish you happiness, even protect what you have, if necessary. That, I can promise you. But only if you do it right now."   
  
Reject the Commander? That was easy. The easiest thing Eren had to do. He needed to stop this, so he and Levi could have a relationship not built on lies and deceit. So that the Commander could find someone else that would make him happy, because Eren would never be able to give that to him, not when his own happiness was in another person's keeping.   
  
I can't accept your feelings. Five words. Just five, simple words and everything would be over.   
  
"I..." Eren forced himself to look up, to meet the intent gaze in front of him. He swallowed thickly, breaths shaky as he tried to clear his throat. "Commander, I..."  
  
He was shaking. His chest was aching. But he had to think of the Corporal. Of what they had. And he didn't want to destroy the one thing that made him feel complete.   
  
"I c-can't--" Eren choked out, vision starting to blur, and his eyes widened as he reached out to touch his cheek, feeling the single damp trail.   
  
Wait.  
  
Why was he crying?  
  
Erwin sighed, a gentle sound like a river lapping on the shore. "I'm sorry. I'm a monster." Erwin whispered, wiping away the tear with the back of his hand, catching Eren's fingers with own. So kind. So gentle. "I didn't mean to make you cry. Forgive me. Shh, it's all right." He kissed Eren's fingers, ones still wet from his tears, and Eren could only stare at him, tears silently streaming down his face.  
  
He didn't understand himself. Why couldn't he reject the Commander? Why was it so hard to say those words? He loved Levi. There was no question about that, would swear to it in front of his executioner and the life beyond, if there was one.   
  
But why? Why was it so painful to think of the Commander being gone from his life? The man was his superior, even a friend, and whatever attraction Eren had for him was purely because of how their bodies were attuned to each other. Alpha and Omega.   
  
Erwin was the perfect Alpha. Attentive, caring, organized; any Omega would be lucky to have him as a partner. He would take care of any children he would have and protect them fiercely. He would tell them what he saw of the world, teach them to always strive for freedom, no matter what the cost, because true freedom is happiness.   
  
Eren could see it all too clearly, right now. Erwin and Eren, coming home from a long expedition, catching their children as they ran towards them, telling them stories of what they saw beyond the Walls, promising their children that they, too, would be able to see it one day.   
  
What terrified him most was he could have that easily. It was easy to fall in love with the Commander, if Eren gave it a chance. The fact that the image was so appealing to him left a bitter taste in his mouth.  
  
It was a future he could never have with Levi. And even then, Eren couldn't go against instinct.   
  
It was the ultimate proof that Eren, despite everything, was still completely human.   
  
"As much as I'd like to let you stay, we need to get you back down," Erwin glanced out the window, where the sun had completely set and the sky was darkening, "and they'll be asking where you are right now."  
  
"Yes, sir." Eren's voice was barely audible, still too shocked to say anything else.  
  
"I have some extra clothes I can lend you. And don't worry, they've been recently washed, so they don't have my scent on them and they should be around your size too." Erwin stood up and left the room, leaving Eren alone with his thoughts.  
  
He didn't even know _what_ to think, his failed attempt of a rejection echoing in his mind.  
  
"Here." Erwin came back after a moment, clothes folded neatly in his arms. He placed them on the bed, once again wearing his uniform, but without the harnesses. "I'll step outside a bit as well, so you can change here without interruption."  
  
"Thank you." Without conscious thought Eren picked up the clothes and put them on once the Commander exited the chambers, the white button-up feeling so different from his wool-made homemade shirts.   
  
Eren didn't know what to feel right now. He stared at the door, almost not wanting to get out of this room, to face the gravity of what he wasn't able to do.  
  
But eventually he stepped out, clothes still a bit awkward on him since it didn't exactly fit, but enough for someone not to notice the difference.  
  
"Oh, and Eren."  
  
He turned around to see the Commander already going back inside his chambers, resting a hand on the doorway as he turned around and looked at him.

"I won't ask that of you again." Erwin said. "But it tells me that you also want me. And I'm willing to fight for you, Eren. And I will."

The Commander's declaration was said with quiet certainty.

"I'll make you fall for me instead."   
  
Eren had no answer, just turned the other way and fled as quickly as his legs would take him, feeling the hot, lingering gaze on the back of his neck.  
  
He was so fucked.

* * *

Eren was a wreck. 

He avoided the dinner halls entirely, having no stomach to even think about eating. He was still running, as far as his feet was willing to take him, as long as his lungs didn't give up, as long as he could still see the way in front of him.

He couldn't.

He managed to get back to his room in the dungeons, almost tripping down the stone steps, as he scrambled to open the cell and throw himself on his hard-rock bed, knowing he would regret the pain later, but right now, he didn't give a damn. 

He felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to puke. His eyes were swollen but still wanted to cry, because that was all he could do. Cry, and curse himself for not being strong enough. 

It wasn't the first time. He failed to save his mother, he got himself eaten by a Titan, wasn't able to fully control his Titan form, and right now he didn't even have the resolve to straighten out his relationships. If he just managed to reject the Commander, then Eren could now love Levi freely without worrying about his reactions when the Commander came near him. Because then, the Commander would proactively distance himself.

Eren wasn't worried about what his Corporal was going to do if he found out.

He was worried that he wouldn't be able to resist Commander Smith at all.

It all boiled down to his fucking biology. If Levi was an Alpha, Eren wouldn't be having this problem. Their relationship would be more acceptable, easier on both of them because their bodies would fit each other perfectly, like two bricks in a foundation. 

But didn't that make their relationship more true because Eren managed to fall in love with the Corporal despite the fact their bodies fundamentally forbid it?

He missed the Corporal. He wanted Levi. He would know what to do. He always knew how to make Eren feel at ease. But what would Levi think of him now? 

He may even hate Eren for making one of his closest friends fall in love with him. Decide Eren wasn't worth it, and leave him. Blame Eren and his Omega nature, so damned irresistible towards Alphas, and that he led them both on at the same time, playing with their emotions and feelings, while Eren cackled in the background.

What if he didn't believe Eren if he insisted that he loved Levi and not Erwin? Who would believe an Omega if they said they loved a Beta when the rival was an Alpha? 

And that... that would break Eren completely. 

He almost tore the sheets under him in frustration, sobbing angrily, staining his pillow with his tears. He had to do something about this. He had to stop the Commander from pursuing him, had to confess to Levi what was going on. 

He had to fix this. For his own sanity's sake.

* * *

There was a bowl of fruit for Eren during next day's breakfast. It was something Eren had never seen before, didn't even  _know_  that fruit had any color other green and red. Blue, violet, orange, there were so many colors Eren didn't know what to think. 

Eren continued to stare at it in awe, almost ignoring the others who were blatantly switching their looks to him and the bowl. Sasha had to be restrained by Connie, Jean,  _and_  Reiner, who was all but foaming at the mouth, desperately reaching for the bowl with her fingers.

The message was clear. Someone was interested in Eren.

Mikasa's stone-cold silence was deadly. "Eren, do you know who...?"

"I don't!" Eren answered hastily, trying not to look at the presentation and failing. It just looked so good, and Eren had no doubt that it would taste good as well. So fresh, so succulent. Eren's fingers twitched. He wanted to know how it tasted.

At the back of his head, a voice was shrilly warning him because he knew damn well who would give him such an extravagant gift. Who was the only person capable of doing it.

"Oh my walls, Eren, if you don't want it, I'll eat it, let me have a taste, please, I'll give you anything--" Sasha whimpered, shaking in the other boys' grip. 

"Goddamn, Eren. Who in Sina...?" Jean asked, eyes wide at the prize while making sure Sasha didn't escape their clutches. "You've got some hotshot Alpha courting you?"

"Yeah, Eren, you don't tell us anything at all!" Connie ogled Eren instead of the fruit as if he was a new species of Titan they hadn't seen before. "Man, Omegas get everything good in life!"

"That's not true!" Eren snapped back, offended by the offhand comment. Connie didn't mean it, he knew, but it stung. 

"Wanna bet it's the Corporal?" Reiner chimed in, alternating between checking Sasha and observing Eren keenly. Eren's ears pinked but he didn't dignify himself with a response, tearing through his bread viciously. There was no way the Corporal would do this. Eren knew him too well.

"I don't know, guys. Okay?" With herculean effort Eren turned away from temptation. "Why haven't you eaten it yet? I'm surprised you managed to restrain Sasha for that long."

"It's not easy, I tell you-- HEY!" Connie yelped as Sasha managed to break free, prostrating herself in front Eren, literally begging on her knees to get a chance to eat the fruit.

"Knock yourself out. Enjoy, guys. I'm not that hungry," Eren managed a shrug, although a small part of him died when the rest took him up on his offer and finished the fruit bowl without even getting a taste. 

Most of his friends were Betas, with the exception of Ymir and Armin, who were Alphas, and Krista and Annie, who were Omegas like him. Krista gave him an understanding look once she caught his eye, and Eren was glad someone knew what he was going through. Because of their classes he and Krista felt a kinship that was different from the usual friendship Eren shared with the rest. Because Krista was female she had it a lot harder, but now that Ymir had bared her teeth and threatened to rip the balls off anyone who tried to get near her, Krista was as good as taken.

Eren looked at his half-eaten bread. It was the Commander, that was blatantly clear, but why show his interest in a place where most people could see? Eren was glad that the Corporal was out on patrol duty with his own squad, because Eren didn't even know where to start explaining _this_ to the older man.

But it was going to spread. It was inevitable. 

Little Omega Eren Jaeger had himself a suitor. 

"Eren, I need to talk to you real quick." Armin stopped him just as they stood up, breakfast over and day ready to start. It wasn't a command, not really, but Eren stopped in his tracks, giving Armin a look that Armin returned apologetically.

"Sorry. But I really need to talk to you."

Eren was led to an alcove half-hidden in the side of the dining hall, possibly a waiting hall back when it was still used as a castle. He hadn't been in here before, and he had to marvel at Armin's searching skills. He didn't even know this room existed in this part of the castle.

Eren looked at Armin, expectant, once their privacy was secured. "Yeah? What's wrong, Armin?"

"I was the first one for breakfast today, and there was a letter along with the basket." Armin pulled the paper out of his pockets, seal still intact. Eren instantly recognized the handwriting, and he knew Armin could too.

He could never hide anything from Armin even if he tried.

"Eren." Blue eyes so reminiscent of their taller, older counterpart narrowed at him. Damned Alphas and their bright blue eyes. "What's--?"

"Please don't say anything." Eren pleaded as he took the letter from Armin's outstretched hand. "I know, okay? I don't know why either. It just happened."

Yes, it just so happened that the 13th Commander of the Scouting Legion, Alpha, had a deeper interest in Soldier Eren Jaeger, Omega. 

"But you and the Corporal--" 

"Armin, please. Please don't tell him." Eren's fingers crinkled the letter as he fisted it tightly. "I'm working on it. I don't like the Commander that way, Armin. It's always been the Corporal for me."

Armin's expression changed into a look of concern and Eren hated it. It made him want to assure Armin that everything was all right, because Armin could be just as fierce in protecting him when it came down to it. He was the only one who knew about Eren's intimate relationship with the Corporal, Armin too sharp and keen about smaller, minute details. 

Eren wasn't exactly subtle because he always smelled faintly of the Corporal, Armin told him. 

"You know I trust you, Eren. But tell me something. Is the Commander influencing you? Forcing you into something you don't want?" Armin asked, completely serious. "Eren, his gift was a declaration of intent. He's serious." 

"I know." Eren pressed his face to his hands and groaned. "He also knows... about the Corporal and I."

"And he's still going through with it?" Armin asked in disbelief, expression slowly turning calculating. It was a bad sign. "Have you told the Corporal?"

"... No..."

"Eren..."

"I can't! I can't tell him, Armin! Who knows what he would think if I did?! He might think I'm cheating on him, worse, think that I'm just playing around with him and I'm actually sleeping with the Commander behind his back! I can't lose him Armin. He's..." Eren wiped at his eyes furiously, voice lowering down to a whisper.

"I've always chased him in my dreams. I don't know how I lived without him and I don't want to remember how."

"That's not true." Armin said, tone fierce and protective. "Listen to me." He caught Eren's face with his hands, forcing him to look at him.

"Someone should be proud if they managed to get your attention and love. You're special Eren, so loyal to us and to the people you care about. You made me realize that I can do something, that I can help you all even if I'm not a strong, tall Alpha like the rest. You're my family Eren, the only one I've got apart from Mikasa, and if they don't see it, they're idiots and they don't deserve you."

Armin always had a way with words, his conviction and power purely mental, not physical. He was an Alpha in his element. 

"Eren, you don't see yourself when you're with the Corporal. You practically bloom in his presence." The blond continued gently. "And you don't see the way the Corporal looks at you too. He looks at you like... he can't believe he still has something precious and he had to protect it at all costs. Honestly, it's so sweet it's kinda making me sick." He smiled crookedly. "You make each other happy Eren, and I can see it. Do you love him?" 

_Do you love him?_

A lot of people had asked that question, and the answer will always be the same.

"...I do. I love him so much it scares me." Eren admitted in a small whisper, and it was the truth. He had never felt this way about anyone before, so fathomless and deep words weren't enough to describe any of it. The Corporal had his everything and he didn't even ask for it; Eren gave it to him willingly, the blade that could cut the string that held a knife over his neck. The Corporal could end him at any moment, ask him to kill himself, and Eren would do it without question. 

The sheer power the Corporal had over him was frightening. 

"And he loves you too." Armin said, matter-of-fact. "It's not really obvious, but he really cares a lot about you, Eren. Even if your bodies aren't meant to be, your souls are. And that's the most important thing to remember, I think. So don't worry, Eren. It's not a mistake to love the Corporal. To love someone... could never be a mistake."

"Armin..." Overwhelmed, Eren hugged Armin fiercely, almost knocking both of them off their feet, so glad and comforted by his support. The scent of family once again covered him, and for once, he didn't feel he was alone. Armin was his Alpha, his family. His best friend. "Thank you." 

Armin rubbed at his back soothingly, voice fond if not a bit startled. "I won't say a word to this to anyone, not even Mikasa. I promise. Tell the Corporal about this. He deserves to know and it should come from you. You aren't alone Eren. You have us. And you have the Corporal. Trust him and us. And we'll never let you down."

"...Okay." 

Armin had never let him down, not even once. He always knew what to do. Eren could be brave. He _would_ be brave. If he wanted to be happy, he had to take the risk. He looked at the paper still in his hand, and threw it away. He didn't want to see it.

Eren was going to trust his family. 

Tomorrow, he was going to tell the Corporal.


	4. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy, intimate night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the smut comes in of the RiRen flavor. Enjoy. Also, Squad Levi makes their appearance.
> 
> Again, [my tumblr,](http://equinoxsolstice.tumblr.com) people. I accept questions, prompts, and fanart 
> 
> /decked

Eren was in better spirits when dinner time rolled around. He was on kitchen duty, and cooking was one of the few things that really calmed him down and he immensely enjoyed. Granted, it increased the 'good Omega-wife' jokes he was getting, but those people soon enough were eating their own words along with whatever Eren prepared for them that day.

Eren's cooking was simply magic. He had the unwitting, terrifying ability to cater to someone's taste buds, no matter who they were or what they liked. As a result, Eren had to be banned from the kitchen on a regular basis in fear that the entire Legion would mutiny if they went back to their regular meals after they tasted Eren's home cooking. 

It wasn't a special occasion, but Eren still insisted on preparing the meals with the request that they provide him with the ingredients, which they were all happy to do. It was a simple but heartfelt process, Eren laughing along with the others who were also on kitchen duty, unable to tear their eyes away from the smiling, humming Omega.

A pleased Omega made for a good household indeed.

As the dinner hour came around, everyone was practically salivating. They could smell the fragrant aroma of cooking meat and simmering stew, the scent freshly baked bread wafting around the halls. 

Waiting, waiting...

The kitchen door slammed open and Eren came out, wearing a grin, a white apron, and two large serving bowls of deer stew in each hand, with the rest of the serving plates trailing behind him.

"Thanks for waiting! Dinner's ready!" 

It was the pandemonium that Squad Levi eventually came to witness when they came in moments later. 

Technically, Eren was still under the watch of Squad Levi, with orders to kill him if he lost control, but as long as Eren was in the castle within the attention of the other members of the Legion and Hanji, they were free to continue their other duties that didn't include babysitting their pet Titan-Shifter.

"Welcome back, Corporal!" Eren turned around, pulled in by his friends to just _sit down and eat something, damn it_ , and stood up to meet them at the door. Eren had been a bit uneasy hours before, remembering the gift the Commander gave to him earlier, and expecting that conversation to come out during dinner time. But Armin must've said something to their friends, maybe even asked for Ymir's help, because right now most of them were teasing Krista instead for the fruit basket, their friends playing along, Ymir smug and taking all the credit for it.

Nobody seemed to question how a mere soldier could afford such an extravagant present, but Eren took what leeway he could get. 

"Thank you for your hard work! I knew you might be late so I set some food aside for you and the rest of the Squad, so--"

Eren's mouth shut up quick, stopping in his tracks when a blade was suddenly pulled out and pointed just inches away from his chest.

"Stay away from me, I'm fucking filthy and I need a shower." The Corporal groused, looking around and just noticing the looks of bliss on the others' faces. "What the fuck did I just walk in on?"

"Eren made dinner, sir!"

"It's the most delicious meal I've had since I've left my mother's house!"

"God! God has descended upon us!"

"You're the best, really the best! Jaeger I don't give a fuck if you turn into a Titan if you can make something like this everyday--"

"Oh Maria, I'll be your slave forever if you keep feeding me like this--"

Eren flushed gently at the compliments. "No, no, really, I was happy to cook for all of you--"

"What have I told you about coming into the kitchen?" Levi was immediately on him, pulling at his ear. It hurt, but not really. If the Corporal really wanted to hurt him Eren would be on all fours right now. "Didn't I tell you to stay the fuck away from it because this shit happens?" 

"I just wanted to help--Ow ow ow!" The tugs became sharper and Eren pulled away, rubbing at his ear and wincing. The Corporal grumbled at him, but set aside his gear so he could sit at the table with the rest of his Squad, but not before going to the side chambers to wash up.

"Clean yourselves, asshats. If you touch that table without washing your hands I'll kick your asses so hard you'd be shitting my boot. Got it?" 

With murmurs of assent, the rest of Squad Levi settled down after washing their hands with the bowl and pitcher Eren generously provided them.

"Thank you for cooking for us, Eren." Petra said sweetly, patting at Eren's cheek, making Eren blush darker and lean into her touch. She was an Alpha, the only one on Levi's squad, and it was still a mystery to some that she allowed herself to be led a part of Special Operations. Eren understood her, though. No one could deny the Corporal's leadership skills, even if he was 'a mere Beta'. "It's been a really long day for us, so it's nice to go back and finally get some rest."

"You should've seen the Corporal today, he's grumpier than usual." Eld chuckled, taking his seat and already pulling the plate closer to him. "You should've come with us, maybe then he'll ride our asses less." Beside him Gunther simply nodded, already biting down on the bread and chewing. He nodded his appreciation to Eren.

"Ah, I was asked by Hanji to help them with some experiments." Eren said, apologetic, preparing the Corporal's meal for him, setting down the extra food he set aside for them moments before. "It took some time to finish so I wasn't able to catch up."

"Why Eren, if you keep this up, I'm going to think you're more suited as a housewife than a soldier." Auruo commented, as lofty as always, lounging on his seat and waving around a loaf of bread. "Maybe you should quit and be our personal cook, how's that sound?" 

"And what's wrong with being a housewife? It's a respectable way of living. Speak for yourself, you don't even know how to cook." Petra raised an eyebrow at Auruo, rolling her eyes when Auruo opened his mouth to answer and bit his tongue instead.

Petra and Auruo were all but formally bonded with Auruo being an Omega, the only thing stopping them their thick, heavy tension and their complete inability to admit their feelings for each other. "By the way, Sir Auruo, Hanji just informed us that we should stick together for this week before the expedition. It's that time again."

"Ugh. Not again." Auruo made a noise of disgust and slid over to Petra, who gave him a withering look. "But then again, it wouldn't be so bad if I had someone helping me--Ouch!" He yelped when Petra kicked his shin. 

"Dream on, Auruo."

"Come on Petra, don't tell me you don't dream of being my Alpha--ow!"

"I'll never be your Alpha even if you were the last Omega on this land."

Eld and Gunther tipped their cups to take a drink, ignoring the conversation with ease while Eren tried his best to hide his smile.

"You shitstains started without me?" The Corporal eventually came back, freshly scrubbed and wearing clean clothes, eyeing his still dirty-looking team enjoying the food with disdain. "All right, you fuckers are asking for it tomorrow. Brat, have you eaten?"

Eren gave a start. "U-Um, not a lot, but you arrived, so..."

Levi sighed as if he carried all the burdens of the land on his shoulders. "Come on. We're eating in my room. Get the plates and let's go."

"O-okay!" Eren quickly gathered the plates with a quick apology to the rest of the Squad, who nodded their thanks and understanding.

"You're too slow. Here." Levi yanked the plates on Eren's arms and replaced them with a jug and two cups stacked together. "Get moving."

With a hasty goodbye, Eren followed the Corporal's footsteps, trailing beside him and making sure that he doesn't spill any of the drinks on the way. Despite his quick strides the plates of food were completely steady in the Corporal's hands, an action the Corporal did effortlessly.

"Fucking finally." The Corporal said when they arrived in the familiar chamber. "Put that on the desk. Pour us two drinks and come over here." 

"Yes, sir." Eren placed the jug as instructed, pouring them two drinks and turning around to see the Corporal on the bed, plates resting on it innocently like they didn't know Levi absolutely hated getting stains on the sheets. Eren stared and the Corporal eventually noticed. 

Levi raised a questioning eyebrow. "What?"

"Um... the plates are on the bed..."

"No shit. Sit your ass down." Levi pointed at the other side of the plates.

"But--"

"Don't make me stand up and make you sit down, Eren."

The sound of his name made the atmosphere shift. It seemed closer, more intimate. Eren meekly sat down on the edge of the bed, watching the Corporal sitting with his legs folded, properly cutting the meat with a fork and knife and placing it in his mouth. He suddenly hummed, a rare sound of pleasure that had Eren beaming in pride. 

"Eat." Levi pushed the food closer to Eren's side with a knife after swallowing. "You've earned it." 

Eren looked around for any extra utensils. "But I didn't bring any--"

The Corporal rolled his eyes, eyes softening and affectionate as he cut another piece and lifted it up to Eren's mouth. "Spoiled brat. Here."

"Your spoiled brat, sir." The answer was immediate, and the small tug on the Corporal's mouth as Eren's lips closed around the offered piece played at Eren's heartstrings. He moved closer, sitting beside his Corporal while they alternated between bites, Eren offering the cups whenever they need of it. 

It had been a while since they had a quiet night like this. Despite not being an Alpha the Corporal always knew how to attend to Eren's needs, caring for him in a way that was much more natural for an Alpha to do. His Corporal had to be both Alpha and Beta to him to make their relationship work, which made Eren ache. 

Eren didn't stop himself from leaning in, catching the Corporal's lips in a messy, oil-stained kiss, mouths sliding around each other sweetly, the smoked meat and taste of the stew heavy on their tongue. The scent of tea leaves hazed through his senses, cloying and warm, and Eren knew he wanted this more than any kiss the Commander could ever give to him. 

"That was disgusting." Levi whispered against his mouth and Eren couldn't help but smile.

"You didn't pull away."

"Like I said, spoiled." With one last lick to Eren's lips, Levi moved back, resting against his pillows. The food was all but licked clean from the plate. "No dessert?"

"There wasn't any time, there were fruits this morning but--" The mention of the fruits zapped through Eren's memories like lightning. The gift. The letter.

The Commander. 

Eren instantly sobered up. "I..." Eren took a deep breath, steeled himself. 

This was the perfect time to tell the Corporal.

"Corporal, I... I need to tell you something."

Eren's voice quivered, fingers digging itself into the fabric of his pants. He knew his ears were already faintly pink, the harsh pounding in his ears accompanied by his suddenly audible breaths. Eren willed his mind to connect to his mouth, to confess everything that happened, because he couldn't keep lying to Levi.

He promised Armin he would tell. 

The Corporal slowly straightened up, blue-grey cutting through him like steel, curiosity mixed with growing concern. "Eren." 

The sound of his name hurt. Eren bit his lip, forcing himself to not look down. He wanted to crawl into the Corporal's lap, wrap himself around him and tell him everything, confess his weakness into Levi's skin and prayed that he wasn't going to be pushed away. 

"I... My heat's going to start soon." 

_No!_  Eren screamed inside, _that's not what I wanted to say!_

The damage was done. 

"I see. These next few days?" Levi was nodding seriously, a thoughtful look on his face. "Then I'll get Auruo to look after you then. We need his ass to be in top shape for the expedition."

"Just thought I'd let you know." Erem mumbled, ears a bright red now. A heat cycle was very personal thing, not really discussed in public. It was still embarrassing to talk to the Corporal about it. "I'm sorry--"

"Eren, if you're saying sorry because I can't even do my damned job, you're cleaning this castle from sunrise to sundown." The Corporal said simply. "It's your fucking body. It's not anyone's fault. If anyone's sorry, it should be me because I'm not a fucking Alpha and I still want you."

Oh. Eren's stomach was fluttering, and it wasn't because of nervousness. It wasn't often that Levi voiced out his emotions, and it always took Eren off-guard, every single time. The offhand self-depreciation hurt. It wasn't the Corporal's fault either. It wasn't his fault he was stuck with a brat who loved him enough to not let him go and look for another person, who was more deserving than an angry, grieving fifteen-year-old.

"But I don't want an Alpha. I want you."

The gaze the Corporal directed towards him made his cheeks heat up further. Eren swallowed thickly. He knew that look. "Get these things down and clean yourself to my standards. Then come back here. I'll be waiting." The Corporal's voice lowered, no command layered in his tone, but Eren was quickly standing up, getting their dinner utensils and almost tripping in his haste to go out the door. 

Depositing the plates and cups in the dining halls, he hightailed it to the bathing areas, cleaning himself as fast and as properly as it was humanly possible. His knees were shaking the moment he got back from the his quick bath, hair still damp and clinging to his cooled skin.

When he got back to the Corporal's quarters, the main lanterns were lowered down, bathing the room in a warmer, orange glow. But the curtains were drawn back, the light of the moon filtering through the clean windows, creating a colder, but ethereal contrast. 

And the Corporal was in the middle of it all, face framed in orange and blue. Hot and cold. Beauty and madness. Humanity's Strongest.

Eren's lover.

With one finger, he beckoned Eren forward silently.

The sound of the door closing behind him was closing the world of reality. Nothing existed but him and the Corporal, right here.

Right now. 

Eren pushed the locks, and he was moving, kneeling on the bed and crawling towards the other man, who simply uncrossed his arms and took Eren's face into his hand, feeling the way his lips trembled in anticipation. 

"Forget everything but me." The soft command caught Eren's breath, and he was drawn in, the gasp of Eren's lips just enough for the Corporal's tongue to slip in between for a kiss.

Sharp, tingling heat. Eren closed his eyes and moaned, pressing closer, feeling small, strong arms brace around his shoulders, then loop around his neck. 

In one smooth move Eren found himself on his back for the in-numerous time for the past week. 

"And who told you you're in charge here?" The deep voice reverberated beside his ear, hands clasped together, fingers threading beside each other. Eren's pupils dilated, and arousal flared in his blood. 

"No one." 

"Who is?"

"...You are."

"Good." The simple praise made Eren shiver, his body surging for more contact. The Corporal was playing with his body's basest instincts, knowing that, as an Omega, instinctively Eren craved for direction, for guidance. For someone to take care of him and meet all of his needs.

Corporal Levi might not be an Alpha, but he knows how to make Eren feel he's one. 

So Eren didn't keep himself quiet. Let the Corporal do whatever he liked with him, if it meant making Eren plead and beg. Clothes were slowly slid off his fever-pitched flesh, questing fingers pressing in places that made Eren squirm. A mouth, wetly tracing down a steady path downwards, tongue darting out for an occasional taste, teeth sinking deep into tanned skin, making Eren cry out in pleasure. 

He wanted this. Craved for it so much it physically hurt. 

"Look at you. So wet." Levi murmured with a wicked smirk, calloused fingers wrapped around Eren's cock, languidly moving up and down. "Making a mess on my sheets already." Another bite to the shell of his ear, another almost-cruel slow drag on his cock, and Eren whimpered. 

"Please, Corporal, don't say it..." Eren was in near tears again, but only because it felt so good, face completely scarlet. He wanted to cover his face with his hands. "It's... it's really just--"

"Hey." Another sharp mark on his neck, high enough to be seen from the collar of his shirts, but not on the side of his neck, where the marks for bonded pairs were made. "Behave. No titles in bed." 

"Sorry... L-Levi." Just saying the Corporal's first name was enough for Eren's face to heat up more, enough to resemble his Titan form. "Don't look at me, it's embarrassing!" 

"Heh. Adorable." Levi's lips curled up in a small smile, removing his hand, Eren's slick dripping from his fingers. "You're going to be the death of me, brat." 

Whatever Eren had to answer back was stopped by a finger going inside him, accepting Levi easily. His hips bore down, greedily sucking in more and more of whatever Levi could give, a groan escaping him.

"Look at you, you can come from this, can't you, Eren?" One became two, and it wasn't enough, would never be enough. "You can just fuck yourself on my fingers and get yourself off like that. How greedy." Levi tsked lightly, and Eren couldn't deny it, so hard and close to climax already.

"N-No, I want you, please..." A single tear slid down Eren's cheek, an arm thrown around his face, but couldn't stop himself, the smooth slide of those fingers against his inner walls making him clench with need. "Inside me, I want you inside me..." 

"None of that." The Corporal's other hand shot out and removed them from Eren's eyes, so breathless and desperate. He was being taken apart, piece by piece. "Keep your hands on me. Look at me." 

Glassy, exotic eyes hazed open, staring at the man in front of him, also unraveling. Blue-grey irises were dark and wild, muscles tense and sweat clinging to his brow as he worked Eren open with two, no, three fingers now, Eren's body trembling with the sheer will of back, please, just _hold back--!_

"Now, now, please, fuck me now, I can't, it's so _hard--_ " Eren was out of his mind, couldn't think of anything but the overload of pleasure on his senses. The side of his neck throbbed, and Eren was surprised with the intensity of it, craning his neck for more access and he knew it was irresistible. The image of an Omega baring his throat was the ultimate form of submission. 

The growl Levi made rumbled in his chest and his grip tightened, leaning forward to nosing at Eren's throat, nipping at the claiming spot, but not enough to draw blood. 

Finally, Levi removed his fingers and took his own cock in hand, kneeling between Eren's legs. 

"Ready?" His voice was impossibly gentle. 

Eren nodded, feverish with love and lust, not caring if it hurt, because it always did, reaching for the other man and was rewarded with a kiss to the brow and the mind-numbing sensation of being entered in the most intimate way. 

"Levi, Levi..." He cried, voice broken and hoarse, chests pressing together and hearts beating frantically as one.

"Shit... feels too good... ease up, brat," the Corporal hissed back, jaw set tight as he gripped Eren's hips still, forearms like hardened steel. "Or we're gonna be finished before we even get started. Fuck..."

Eren raised his shaking legs to hook them around Levi's waist, Levi catching them and propping them over his spread thighs, until, finally, finally, Levi was completely inside of him. 

The silence of the room was punctuated by their heavy breaths.

Eren felt like he was melting on the bed. Levi was so hot, so much bigger than his fingers, making Eren's insides throb with every movement. Slow, so slow, the pain more of a sweet torture than anything else, the drag and friction of their bodies making Eren clench, and Levi mutter a litany of swears.

"More, I need more, please..." Eren pleaded, arms loose around Levi's shoulders, nails scratching his shoulder blades as he hung on by a hairsbreadth, feeling Levi so deep inside he could feel it all the way to his back. 

"No. We do this my way." Levi kept his slow pace, barely rocking into Eren's body with a patience that was superhuman. Eren couldn't breathe, feeling so full, always being pushed towards the edge only to be pulled back at the last second. His toes were curling, tears freely sliding down now as he sobbed, the heat so intense, ache so good it was almost too much to bear. 

They've never slept together like this. 

"I want you to remember this." A sudden deep thrust, and Eren clutched at Levi's arms, back arching and screams silent. "Remember my cock when I fuck you, remember what name you scream when you come." Levi leaned over him, never halting the grind of his hips, every minute action throbbing and clinging inside him, higher,  _more_. The heat coiled in his gut, climax slowly building. Eren's body was straining, almost folded in half but he couldn't care less, not when Levi captured his hands and held them down, mouths meeting sloppily in an imitation of a kiss, fingers tangled together and holding each other tightly. 

"Levi, I'm gonna--!" His breath choked, his body coiled tight, sobs desperate because he was already going to come and he couldn't, not until Levi's with him--!

"Do it. Come, Eren." Levi never stopped, drives into him without pulling their chests away, grinds into that one spot that made Eren see white, never letting up the friction on the cock between their bodies. 

"I'll catch you."

With one final thrust, Eren was completely swept away. Trips over the edge of the cliff and hurtling through the air, gasping Levi's name as Levi worked him through the most intense orgasm of his life, milking out every single drop of him until Eren was a bundle of trembling limbs and whimpers, vision a blur as the sensations he felt were just at the side of too-much. 

Eren was barely conscious when he came back, first feeling the harsh breaths on his neck, registered the wetness dripping out of him, and felt contentment wash over him. 

He didn't come alone. Levi was with him. 

"Levi...?"

The Corporal was trembling. 

"Levi..." 

"Eren." The Corporal looked up and breathed against his lips, their foreheads touching. The sound of his name said everything that wasn't. Vulnerable. That's what the Corporal sounded like. Looking at him like...

Eren's eyes widened.

_Something precious he needed to protect at all costs._

His chest clenched, and he fell in love all over again.

"Good?" Levi asked quietly, tucking away the hair at his sweat-dampened brow. 

Was there a limit to how much you can love somebody? Eren didn't know. Being with Levi wasn't just about making his heart whole, it was about making his soul complete. Loving someone so madly and helplessly like this shouldn't be possible in the first place.

But it was. And he was. 

"Good." Eren whispered, a smile on his lips as he kissed his Corporal back, and all was right.

For now.


	5. Subconscious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The body knows what it wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5. More Eren-angst, world buildings, and some POVs apart from Eren's.

Right now, Eren could admit to himself that his situation was one big clusterfuck.   
  
Because of Armin's quick cover, his Corporal had no inkling about the gift the Commander gave him. And would continue to have no idea at this rate; the Commander certainly wouldn't tell him, and it wasn't Armin's place to confess something of that nature to a superior officer.   
  
Since when did Eren start lying to him?   
  
Thinking about it now, while he certainly wasn't complaining about the nights he spent with his Corporal, in a sounder mind and body, Eren had to admit that there was always something... lacking in his physical relationship with him. Eren couldn't understand it, least of all himself because he always wanted Levi, not just his body but also his heart.   
  
But later on, once he recovered, Eren would always crave something... more.   
  
Which made the moments when he woke up in the Corporal's bed all the worse.   
  
His body was wrecked, bruised and aching in all the right places, but instead of feeling sorely satisfied, there was fleeting moment of disappointment that Eren squashed down quickly. He sighed and rubbed his face, remembering the sweetness of his Corporal's lips, the way Eren cried out for him, clung to him, the ache of being filled and the joy of being one with him...  
  
His cheeks pinked, heart swelling, but his limbs just twitched in soreness.   
  
It wasn't both of their faults. No matter how hard the Corporal tried, he could never fulfill Eren's physical needs completely. Eren would always feel like this afterwards after coupling, he was warned so many times by Hanji, because their bodies weren't completely compatible. The Corporal wouldn't be able to feel the same way because he was a Beta, who was generally the most stable class, at least in terms of biological imperatives. A Beta would be more than fine with an Omega partner.   
  
The Omega would be not.   
  
Eren thought he could bear it. Could shoulder everything with a smile, ignore the whispers of  _not enough_  when it came to his body, because Levi truly made him happy. Thought he could ignore the way his body pulsed when he met the Commander's hand for the first time, instantly recognizing how their bodies fit  _just right_ , how the Commander's steady, blue-eyed gaze brought in a sharp, tingling heat Eren had never felt before, the consuming fire from a pyre as opposed to the warm hearth of the Corporal's gaze.  
  
Alpha. His mind whispered, and he nearly said it out loud too, biting his lip and looking away and remembered feeling thankful that the Corporal chose that moment to sit beside him, to ask forgiveness in a roundabout way. Eren had been attentive to the Corporal since then, but he couldn't ignore the Commander either, the familiar, strange tension already starting between them.   
  
Eren was worse than trash for thinking about the Commander when he was in his lover's bed.  
  
He had to get up soon, or they'll be asking where he went to. Eren gingerly stood up, had to brace himself on the bed because his knees and back still ached something fierce. He was alone, but that was expected, the Corporal was never a sleeper and relatively got up earlier than the rest. That he allowed Eren to sleep in his quarters unattended was a sign of deepest trust and kindness, considering that they just stopped mere hours ago.  
  
He forced himself to move. Couldn't stay here and feel sorry for himself. Had to dress himself, go back to the basement to get his uniform, clean up, and show himself to the others.   
  
Eren stopped and stared at the desk, doing a quick double-take as he saw what was on it.   
  
It was his uniform, freshly washed and folded with military precision, pressed together and silently waiting for him.   
  
It wasn't even a gift. Nothing extravagant, just a pile of his own clothing, but it was something that Eren needed right now, a thoughtful gesture he should've expected from the man who managed to capture his everything.   
  
Eren shakily grabbed his shirt at the top and pressed it to his face, the scent of laundry soap and black tea ticking his nose. He didn't even have the time to get his laundry done. Even the harnesses were included, leather straps oiled, shined, and tightened just right for his use. There was no note, no letter with it, just the entire set, but thinking about the extra effort the Corporal did to just to go down to his room and make sure he was dressed for the day was...   
  
It was something no Alpha would do.  
  
Oh, walls. Eren felt like his chest would burst.   
  
The Corporal was going to be the end of him. 

* * *

His aching muscles were no excuse for slacking off. The expedition was getting closer by the day and they had to make sure everything was top-notch before even thinking of going beyond the Walls, including training. 

And because Eren could conveniently shift into a fifteen meter Titan, the Scouting Legion abused the opportunity as they saw fit.  
  
"Too slow, Eren!" Hanji called out cheerfully as she oversaw the Titan training with their new recruits, all of them in Gear and zipping around, trying to avoid Eren's grip. "Remember, learn how to anticipate their moves! Catch their wires if you have to! But be gentle with them, they can't regrow limbs like you can!"  
  
"That's not funny, Squad Leader!" Moblit squawked as he worriedly watched them, Jean barely avoiding Eren's fist, using his blade to cut through his palm. "What if Eren loses control?!"  
  
"That's why we have Levi and the rest of Special Operations here!" Hanji waved towards the other man standing by on the trees, observing the mock battle with a keen eye, hands resting casually on his twin blades. His team were watching as well with varying levels of worry and interest, blades also at the ready to get Eren out if necessary. "See, it works both ways! Eren will know how to protect himself against people using Maneuver Gear, and our recruits would know how to decapitate a Titan without killing it! Win-win! Plus it gives me more data!" The expression Hanji was making could only be called orgasmic. "Ahh~ this is the best day ever!"   
  
"Only because you had the brass backing you up, shitty glasses." Levi answered back with boredom and disgust, their conversation too far away from Eren to hear, concentrating on his task to even care what they were talking about.   
  
The roar Eren made was less of a Titan's rage and more of a teenager's frustration as he furiously swiped in midair, but his friends were too quick, moving around him like annoying flies. It was admittedly a nice strategy, to solidify Eren's control over his Titan form and to get some practice with it, but he had to hold back. This was his friends, with bodies he could crush easily if he applied more pressure to his attacks, so he had to be careful.  
  
The scent hit him before anything else.  
  
"How's the training going, Hanji, Levi?"   
  
His heartbeat stopped. Eren gasped, and he turned his head, the Titan form going along with it, as the Commander approached the group, sitting on top of his white horse as he conversed with the others. His voice was distinct, carried over to them with an authority that let them all know that an Alpha was in their midst.   
  
Blood pounded in his ears. He couldn't move. The Titan tilted its head up, inhaled deeply, steam escaping its nose and mouth as he exhaled. That scent... was heavenly.   
  
Intoxicating.   
  
Eren's lips pulled back in a snarl, and vibrant green eyes glowed behind dark locks. His hands were shaking.   
  
The Omega in him was responding.   
  
"...Eren?" He barely noticed Armin and Mikasa climbing up his shoulders, holding on to his hair they tried to get his attention. "Eren, what's wrong?"   
  
"Armin, he's not responding. Eren, Eren, can you hear us?"  
  
"Everyone, what's wrong?" Hanji's voice was louder as they noticed the interruption. "What happened to Eren?!"  
  
"We don't know! He just stopped moving!"   
  
"Eren?! Answer us!"   
  
This was bad. Ignore him. Eren tried to move his head, tried to return to his mission, but his mouth was dry. He was in Titan form, and he mostly moved on instinct, steps first hesitant, then getting faster and faster.   
  
He lost control.  
  
"Stand back!" The Corporal's voice suddenly barked, and the sound of unsheathing blades were heard, the whir of the cords as the Corporal rushed towards him. "Brat, control yourself!"   
  
Eren couldn't control his body anymore. His feet mere moving, towards the Commander, towards that enticing scent. He had to have him. Had to eat him. The Titan roared, a sound that echoed throughout the surrounding land.   
  
Had to have him. Eat. Devour. Savor. Mine.   
  
Faster. Hurry.  
  
Mine, mine, mine.  
  
 _Alpha._  
  
Before he could do any more damage he was ripped away from the Titan mold, momentarily seeing the bright blue of the sky before he went tumbling, gulping in the blessedly clean-smelling air and clearing the haze his mind was in. He had started to fuse with his Titan form again, face burnt, exhausted and limbs missing, but he was himself again.   
  
He didn't know what happened.  
  
"Eren!" The first thing he saw was the face of the Corporal, completely calm if not for the panic and worry in his eyes.   
  
"Corporal..." He said weakly, barely conscious, feeling the aftereffects of his Shifting. "I..."   
  
"What was that, you little shit?!" He was jostled, head flopping back weakly back and forth as his Titan body disintegrated behind them, stream surrounding them. "You fucking scared the hell outta us!"   
  
"Woooooooooooooooow~!" Hanji was all but skipping in delight as they started towards him, face in utter rapture. Their eyes were misting over with tears of happiness. "THAT. WAS. AWESOME! I've never seen Eren lose control like that before! That was so beautiful, I think I'm gonna cry--!"   
  
"Eren!" The 104th were also approaching, in different states of disarray and confusion, faces concerned for their friend. "Is Eren all right?!"  
  
"Jaeger! Are you dead?!"  
  
"Don't say thing like that, Jean!"   
  
"Everyone stand back!" The Commander's bellowing voice rose above the rest, and at once everyone stopped. Erwin was walking, strides brisk as the sheer, overwhelming presence of the Alpha towered over them all. All stepped aside to let him through, even Armin, Ymir, and Petra, instinctively knowing they were outmatched. "Everyone who isn't a ranked officer, go back to the castle. That's an order."   
  
"But--!" Mikasa was stopped by Armin, who merely shook his head, and pulled her along until everyone was gone, with the exception of Hanji, the Corporal, and the Commander.  
  
Eren was still too out of it to realize that most of them were gone, limp in the Corporal's arms. He felt safe. He felt protected. He wanted to sleep.   
  
He didn't know what was going on, or the conversation that was happening above his head.   
  
"Is Eren all right?" The Commander knelt beside Levi, looking down at Eren whose limbs were already starting to regrow. "What happened?"  
  
"You tell me, shitty glasses." Levi instantly felt at edge in the Commander's presence, especially with Eren between them. Levi knew better than to suspect his friend and Commander, but he couldn't ignore his instincts. There was just... something in the way Erwin looked at Eren, something he couldn't place that instantly raised his hackles. He didn't like it. Eren... Eren chose to be his. Eren belonged with him.   
  
He tightened his hold on Eren's shoulder, a possessive move, and he was sure Erwin had noticed. Blue eyes narrowed minutely, and Levi bared his teeth in a quiet snarl.   
  
He didn't give a fuck about anyone else. About Alphas, Omegas, their fucking biology. He... loved Eren. The brat forced his way into his mind, into his very heart, in a way no other person had done before. Not even Isabel and Farlan managed to do it. Eren was special. He tried too hard, cried too much, wore his heart on his sleeve and followed after him like a damned puppy. He was brat, but he was Levi's brat, and he had never felt so alive until those beautiful green eyes looked his way and declared that he was going to kill all the Titans.  
  
Figures Levi would go for the manic, emotional ones.  
  
The stare off the two men unwittingly started with each other was broken when Hanji's manic babbling reach their ears, spouting off different theories and ideas on Eren's sudden loss of control.   
  
"--really amazing! I didn't think that Eren's natural biology would have an effect on his Titan form as well!" Hanji chattered on, still looked as if they were in the clouds, and the two men simply moved their heads in Hanji's direction. "Simply spectacular! I wouldn't have thought it possible!"   
  
"Speak normally, shitty glasses." Levi snapped, patience thinning. " _What_  isn't possible?"  
  
"Please explain, Hanji." Erwin said with much more calm than his shorter counterpart.  
  
"Basically, Eren's an Omega, right? When he turns Titan, he mostly operates on instinct and will than anything else. Somehow, when Erwin arrived, he managed to trigger Eren's Omega instincts and caused him to go after Erwin! And since he's in Titan form, that meant he wanted to eat him!" Hanji explained a little too gleefully.   
  
"But why didn't he go after Petra, or Arlert, then? Both of them are Alphas. Eren didn't go after them like he did with Erwin." Levi continued, sneaking a look towards Erwin's face. The blond looked positively thunderstruck, as if he hadn't expected that reaction at all.   
  
Hanji gave both unimpressed looks. "Just what have your learned before in training? Even with our biological classes, sometimes people are more drawn in to some than others. Just because you're an Alpha doesn't mean every Omega wants to get into your pants. And Armin's basically grew up with Eren, the Westermark Effect's still a thing you know." They continued dismissively. "And while Petra's also an Alpha, her instincts towards Eren are more motherly than anything else, I think. That's why Eren didn't go after her." Hanji stopped, and gave Erwin a sly look. "But with you, Commander..."   
  
"...What?" Now Levi was looking at him, not liking where the conversation was ending up.   
  
"It might be because Eren subconsciously recognizes Erwin as the Alpha of the group. Therefore, he had to be eliminated first." Hanji shrugged casually, as if they didn't just tell Erwin that he had just escaped a very narrow death. "We've already observed that Titans preferred to eat Omegas than other classes, possibly because of their capability to conceive. If a Titan was an Omega, then they would naturally go after the leader of the group, create chaos within the ranks. But it is strange, though, that he didn't go after Lenz first when he shifted..." Hanji seemed to be suddenly struck by a thought, eyes glittering with barely hidden insanity. "OH MY WALLS, DOES THIS MEAN TITANS HAVE CLASSES TOO?!"   
  
"I'm not listening to this crap. I'm going." Levi snorted, shoulders lighter for some reason after that explanation. Instinct. It was just instinct. Eren didn't know what he was doing. He lifted Eren easily, Eren's face tucked into his neck and already fast asleep. "Erwin, you go in here and explain to the rest of the brats. I'm bringing this brat to his bed."  
  
"Oooh, could you give me some time with Eren before you do? Please?! I won't wake him up, I promise!" Hanji slid beside Levi immediately only to be met with Levi's sharp elbow.  
  
"No way in Sina, shitty glasses. Go away. You've done enough damage."  
  
The two of them walked off, bickering as quietly as they could so as not to wake Eren up, leaving Erwin to stand up and go into the castle alone, mind still full of the revelations that happened today.  
  
Eren was reduced to instinct when he shifted into his Titan form. He didn't attack anyone else until he came to observe the proceedings. Erwin knew that look in those Titan eyes, still so bright and vibrant like the young man that was in it, wild and untamed.   
  
It was easy enough to connect the dots together.  
  
And as Erwin stared at Levi's retreating back, watching him cradle the younger man to his chest, it was only a matter of time. This was just extra proof. Let Levi enjoy his moments with Eren while he still could.  
  
Erwin Smith never played fair, and he wasn't going to start now.   
  
Not when he knew Eren, at the very least, wanted him too.


	6. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A double-edged sword. To warm, or to burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. The turning point of this series, where everything goes to hell. 
> 
> Also, thanks so much for the kudos and the comments! It really encourages me to write more and to think that I'm not as a shitty writer as I thought I am. Keep them coming, I'm always squealing like an idiot whenever I see a new comment/kudos on this work.
> 
> As always, [my tumblr](http://equinoxsolstice.tumblr.com). Feel free to visit!

"No, really, I'm fine," Eren tried to assure for the nth time after managing to regain his consciousness.  
  
The moment Eren managed to open his eyes, a multitude of faces were peering down on him, which was a heart attack in and out of itself. After scrambling to sit up and some hurried explanations, the 104th made themselves comfortable inside Eren's bedroom-slash-cell, positioning themselves where possible.  
  
"Are you sure? You do remember anything that happened?" Mikasa and Armin are the closest to him, Mikasa holding his closest hand as she continuously fussed over him. Normally Eren would bat her away, but he still felt weak and being taken care of was... nice, sometimes. It was comforting. Eren knew it was the Omega in him speaking, but for once, he didn't fight against it.   
  
"No..." He looked around, staring at his squadmates with growing horror. They didn't look to be injured, no one was missing, but...! "What did I do?! Did I hurt someone?!"  
  
"Eren, it's fine! You didn't hurt anyone!" Krista was quick to assure him, "It was just," she shared a look with Ymir, "strange..."  
  
"Strange how?"   
  
Sasha and Connie were all too happy to tell Eren in excruciating detail what transpired just hours before. That everything was fine until the Commander came around, and Eren stopped, ignored them, and started going after the Commander instead, with the full intention to devour him. But before anything of the sort happened the Corporal came and cut him out of his Titan form, and the rest were sent back to the castle to await further orders.  
  
"We were briefed by the Commander afterwards, and that's the official story, as far as we know." Ymir said, expression bored, flicking away a stray lint on her jacket. "We're all on subpoena for the incident. Everything stays here, nothing goes out."  
  
"And you were so close too!" Connie gushed, "Just a couple of steps more and the Commander would've been Titan food! If the Corporal didn't pull you out when he did, you might've reached the Commander on time!"   
  
"What can you remember at that time, Eren?" Reiner studied him intently, arms crossed and leaning against the cell wall. "Anything? Something that stood out?"  
  
"And why go after the Commander, specifically?" Jean frowned, staring at Eren as if trying to figure out particularly difficult puzzle. "During the training, you didn't go after any one of us in specific."   
  
"Guys, this might not be the best time to ask Eren about this..." Bertholdt started uneasily, glancing at Reiner, which no one noticed but the blond in question.   
  
"I..." The last thing Eren could remember was a particular scent, a wonderful, enticing smell that made him lose his mind and disregard anything else. It smelled pure, sweet, even cool, powerful enough to make him give up his mental control. He was always in a precarious situation when he shifted, he had less of a grip on his logical thinking, operating more on feeling and his subconscious than anything else. The fact that  _something_  was strong enough to knock him out like that was jarring. Why, though?  
  
Armin was silent, chewing on his bottom lip and furiously thinking. Eren stared at him uneasily; considering what the blond knew of his situation, he would have a better idea on what really happened, and usually his guesses were correct. Armin opened his mouth to speak.  
  
"All right brats, visiting hours are over," The cell bars clanked open and the Corporal stood there, arms crossed and giving everyone a pointed look. "Everyone, out. We're giving Jaeger a briefing as well, even if you shits already told him everything."  
  
"Corporal, I--!" Eren started to speak, only to be quelled down when the look was directly pointed at him. Shut up. "Get moving."  
  
Mikasa was giving the older man a glare, still not entirely over her initial grudge, but relented. "We'll see you soon, Eren." Mikasa and Armin gave him brief but tight hugs, and with some pats on the shoulder and waves of goodbye, the former 104th left his cell one by one until it was only him and the Corporal left.  
  
Eren swallowed. He didn't think he could explain it to the Corporal even if he tried.   
  
"Auruo, what happens here, stays here." Levi said to the other man, tilting his head in his direction. Eren couldn't see Auruo from his point, but the "Yes, sir!" in response told him that the other man was probably outside his cell, leaning on the other side of the wall.   
  
"Brat." Levi entered the bedroom-slash-cell, nose wrinkling at the room's state of dirtiness, before sitting on the bed. "How're you holding up?"   
  
"I'm fine, sir. Shaken." Eren muttered, wrapping his arms around himself. He couldn't stop himself from shaking. He sucked in a harsh breath, trying to calm himself down. Another side-effect of being an Omega. Too much fluctuation with their hormones from stress or other external factors and their bodies would go into shock. He was starting to lose himself again and he was  _so scared--!_  "I don't remember what I did. I don't know why it happened."  
  
"The four-eyes has a theory but I won't bore you with that. Shit happens. It always does." Levi shrugged, taking off his jacket and folding it neatly at the foot of Eren's bed. Then he pushed himself to the middle of the small bed and patted his thigh. "Come here."  
  
"...Sir?" Eren looked up, peeking at the Corporal through his bangs, a bit confused.   
  
"I'm not telling you twice. Sit in my lap before I kick you off the bed."   
  
Auruo's spluttering can he heard outside the cell but both of them ignored that, Eren never hesitating in crawling forward and wrapping his arms around Levi's shoulders, his legs around Levi's hips like a particularly clingy monkey. He buried his face in his Corporal's broader shoulder, able to feel the steady beat of his Corporal's heart against his chest, the heat of his body against his clothed skin, the outline of Levi's lean muscles through his shirt.   
  
Eren closed his eyes and just let himself feel.   
  
It was familiar. It was safe. He was protected.   
  
 _Calm down. I'm here._  
  
Not a word was said between them, Eren's ragged breaths the only sound heard in the cell. Strong hands rubbed at his back soothingly, fingers running through every vertebrae of Eren's spine one by one, up and down, over and over again until Eren's body uncoiled and sagged forward, the other man taking his weight easily.  
  
Eren almost felt like himself again.  
  
"Better?" Levi asked quietly, looking down at him, arms still around him. "How're you feeling?"   
  
"Thank you. I'm better now." Eren whispered back, nuzzling at Levi's neck and inhaling. The scent of him always made Eren feel better, but it never felt like this, pleasantly hazy. It was starting to make his head spin. "You didn't have to do this. I could've swallowed a suppressant instead."  
  
"Yes, I had to. You're not fucking up your cycle, it's as close as it is." was the simple response and Eren wanted to cry and smile at the same time, because damn it, what had he done to deserve this man?  
  
His chin was gently nudged up and a kiss was pressed to his lips, blue-grey irises clear and calm, fingers lingering on his warmer-than-usual skin.  
  
"Whatever I have that I can give is yours, Eren. Don't forget that."   
  
It might not be the three words Eren had been waiting for, but it was the closest thing to a confession from his Corporal as he could get. Eren answered by pressing his lips on the Corporal's neck, a promise that he won't forget, never would, and the arms around him tightened in response.   
  
The silence they shared was comfortable and tranquil until the Corporal spoke up.   
  
"By the way, I won't be here tomorrow. Supply run. We can't go to Trost because they're still recovering, so we have to go to the further into the Interior. It'll take two days at the most."  
  
"What time are you leaving?" Eren raised his head slightly, willing himself out of his comfort-hazed fog to listen intently. He was still feeling a bit off, especially now that the Corporal was leaving the castle for a few days. Eren never liked, always felt uneasy when the Corporal wasn't around, but he wasn't going to act like a baby and demand that Levi stay with him. They were soldiers, they had their duties.  
  
But that feeling of... offness... was worse today. A faint buzz was crawling under his skin. What was wrong with him?   
  
"At first light. Don't worry, I've got someone babysitting you while I'm gone. Auruo, you're staying back tomorrow and take care of my brat," Levi called out with a smirk, "and if one hair on his head's misplaced when I get back, you're the one getting it."   
  
Eren didn't manage to stifle a laugh in time, giggling into Levi's shoulder when he heard Auruo's quick stutters and assurances that the brat, he meant Eren, would be completely fine in his care.   
  
"So don't get into trouble when I'm not around to bail your ass." A fond ruffle to the head, and they both untangled themselves in mutual agreement. "And Eren, rest a bit more. You feel warm." A hand was pressed to his forehead, and verdant green eyes widened at how  _hot_  his Corporal was. How close his body was to his own. Eren felt his eyes slipping shut but the Corporal was already moving off the bed, disorienting him and making him almost fall face-first into his sheets, sweat beading on his face and neck.  
  
Was it him, or was the cell warmer than usual?  
  
With some effort, his pried his eyes and looked at the Corporal. His vision suddenly blurred, and Eren blinked.  _What...?_  "I'll see you in a few days, Corporal." His mouth was moving, a smile on his lips.  
  
"Sleep well, brat." And then the cell doors clicked shut, boots shuffling away, until all that was left was silence.  
  
Maybe it was another side-effect of his shifting. It wasn't often that he had a fever afterwards, but it did happen. Eren fuzzily pressed a hand to his forehead. He was starting to get dizzy. Yep, definitely warmer.   
  
He should just sleep it off. No reason to alert anyone that he wasn't feeling okay. He'd be fine after a few hours. He... always... did...  
  
Eren was unconscious even before his head hit the pillow.

* * *

It was dark when Eren woke up.

The torches outside his cell were reduced to mere embers, the dungeons eerily quiet and shrouded in semi-darkness. Eren fuzzily opened his eyes, dark ceiling above him, throat dry and head light. 

His body was also on fire. 

It was so  _hot_ , flames licking at every inch under his skin. Eren's body shuddered and curled into a ball, the action causing a shock through his system, making him scream. It was almost unbearable, and the moment he was fully conscious of it the heat intensified immensely, as if he was tied and being burned alive at the stake.

It hurt. 

His clothes were soaked with sweat, seeping under the covers and Eren groaned, forcing himself through sheer will to sit up, head pounding as he managed it, but barely. He never had fevers this badly before. He was hard to think, his head feeling stuffed with cotton. 

He clutched at his chest, fisting his shirt, breathing hard and labored. He wanted to tear at his clothes. It felt constricting, keeping his body trapped under the sweltering heat. Dazedly he turned to the small table by his bed. Water. He just needed water. His fingers reached out for the barely seen outlines on top, maybe one of them had a cup of water he could drink. 

He overestimated the distance, fingers bumping against something hard and sending it crashing to the floor, the sound echoing throughout the basement. 

Shit. He was so dizzy he couldn't even grab things properly. Eren slowly turned his head to the cell door, bars barely seen in the torchlight. Kitchen. It was just upstairs, he could manage it if he went slow. Water, maybe even a basin he could use to soak himself, anything to alleviate the scorching fire inside him. 

Getting to his feet suddenly became a measure of strength, and managing to get outside his bedroom cell a feat of physical prowess. The rock was cool under his bare feet and he wanted to plaster himself against it; he was slowly consumed from the inside out, making every movement, every twitch of muscle an experience. His knees were shaking so badly he had to lean against the wall, hand pressed against the rock to keep himself upright.

Climbing up the stairs was another hardship he didn't think was possible. It was less of putting his feet on the steps to move up and more of trekking through a mountain path, but if there was anything Eren Jaeger was, he was persistent, and a set of steps looming over him wouldn't deter him in the least. He grit his teeth, forced his uncooperative body to move, and viciously bit at his bottom lip when another shout threatened to escape his throat.

He was almost on all fours when he reached the final steps, body trembling so badly he almost tumbled down several times, but he managed it. 

Eren could hear the faint babble of voices now, the clopping of hooves and the bustle of activity in the outside courtyard. The sky was still dark, however, lamps now brightly lighting the corridors. Still dark. Early morning then, he would estimate. A louder barrage of noises in front, and if Eren concentrated hard enough, he could see the faint green cloaks of the Scouting Legion members just ahead, bringing out the wooden boxes used for supply storage. 

Eren suddenly remembered. 

_By the way, I won't be here tomorrow. Supply run._

The Corporal would be outside then, overseeing the final preparations and making sure everything was ready before setting off. 

He... he had to find the Corporal. This wasn't normal anymore. He needed... he needed someone. Window. The Corporal would see him through the window. Another step forward, and a surge of lightning zapped throughout his body, running through every vein from the top of his head to his toes. Eren collapsed against the other wall, window just above his head, breathing harsh, face flushed, sweat dampening his brow.

... Water. He needed to find a pool and jump in it. He... he couldn't take it anymore. The fire was spreading. Fingers dug into his arms, trying to claw inside and let the heat escape. Something. Anything. Hands scrambled for the window pane at the top, to push himself upright so he could open it and breathe in the crisp, morning air. So he could clear his head and know what to do.

Almost there. Just a bit more...!

_Levi..._

"... Eren?" 

That voice. Before he knew it his head turned to the direction of that familiar tenor, legs finally giving out on him as a cooling wave suddenly washed against his body. Relief. Longing. Yearning.

"Commander..."

"What are you doing here? It's still very early." Commander Smith was in full riding gear, green cloak pinned on as he stared at Eren with concern. "You don't look very well." 

"I... um..." Eren desperately scrambled for an explanation, finally feeling as if he could breathe, mind suddenly clear for the briefest moment. "I don't feel very well..." 

The moment the Commander stepped towards him his pulse stopped. Everything slowed down, the intake of his breath, the drop of sweat running down his neck, the enticing, scent of fresh spring water making his pupils dilate and throat swallow thickly. 

_Alpha._

The Commander seemed to realize this as well, because he stopped, eyes slowly darkening into an expression Eren could only describe as  _predatory_.

Eren gasped, the wave of arousal so strong it was like a physical hit, making him choke and curl in on himself, whimpering as his mind was filled with realization and dread. 

This wasn't a fever.

He was  _in heat._

"Eren." His voice was low, had a certain ring to it that made Eren shiver, "Are you...?"

Just his voice was enough to make desire curl between his legs and Eren couldn't stop the shameless moan from escaping, instantly flushing and looking away. 

"Commander, please..." 

He didn't know what he was asking. 

"Eren, you have to go to the lower rooms. It's not safe for you here." The Commander was so close Eren could literally feel the warmth radiating from his large body, the attraction that always existed between them much more visceral, more  _real_. Just managing not to look at the man was difficult. Eren flinched when a soft touch was placed on his elbow. The scent of the Commander surrounded him completely, blanketing from all sides, so alluring and sweet. Titillating. 

The impulse was getting harder to resist.

At the back of his mind, Eren had to admire the Commander's iron-clad will. A lesser Alpha would have taken the opportunity when it was presented, an Omega in heat wasn't likely to say no to anything.

But right now, a more persistent need was growing in his mind. The need to be dominated, to be taken care of, to be possessed, completely and wholly without reservations. As much as Eren wanted to deny it, right now, there was only one thing he wanted.

If the Commander asked him right here and now to leave Levi and be his, Eren would have accepted freely. 

Erwin took another step closer, and Eren didn't even hesitate, half-drunk on pheromones, standing up and putting himself willingly into the Commander's arms. Erwin held him up easily though startled, arms wrapped around his torso and Eren leaning his head on the other man's chest, clinging to his cloak. 

"I want you." It was a whisper of defeat, an admittance of weakness. At his very core, he wanted the Commander. Badly. "Please, I want you."

The Commander's arms instantly hardened around him like steel, unwilling to let go. "You don't want this, Eren." His voice was gentle against his ear, and Eren shuddered, arching his back and baring his neck and gasping when the blond nosed at his neck, feeling the tip of his nose graze his skin, the flare of hot breath from the other's lips. "This is your heat talking."

"Yes, I do." Eren whispered back, completely honest and miserable. He was already wet, he could feel the seep of dampness on his sleeping pants. He was going to make a puddle on the floor at this rate, but he didn't care, not now. 

Fingers tangled in the usually neat blond locks and murmured a confession that he couldn't admit to himself, even in the darkest parts of his heart.

"I've always wanted you." 

The growl that rumbled in the Commander's chest made Eren's blood spike and his arousal throb. But he was let go, set back on his feet with a reluctance and tightness that was obviously forced. Erwin stepped back, jaw set, body taut, gaze sweeping up and down Eren's body in a way that made Eren want to jump in and not care about the consequences. 

"Walk away while you still can." The composure was completely gone, the Commander's voice rough and uneven. "Don't make this more difficult than it should be. Because if you let me, I won't be able to stop myself, even if you say no afterwards."

It was a fair warning.

"But I..."

"What about Levi? You love him."

The Corporal. His heart twinged, but it was quickly overcome by another wave of sheer  _need_. Eren took one step back, then another. It physically hurt, to move away from the Alpha, but Erwin was right. He couldn't betray his Corporal. Another step back. Eren turned around, glancing at the window and seeing the Corporal's horse already saddled in, the Corporal standing beside the stallion and barking orders. His feet were ready to move, to walk away from temptation once and for all.

_But he's not an Alpha._ A small voice in his mind said, making him stop. 

_Levi would never be able to help you. He'll just walk away like he always does. Besides, he won't find out. He's not here today._

Eren held his clenched hands to his chest as the voice in his head became louder and more confident, the threads of self-control snapping, one by one. 

_You want him.  He's your Alpha._

No, he couldn't...! Eren squeezed his eyes shut, sweat beading down his skin as his chest ached something fierce. He had never felt so conflicted in his entire life. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to betray the one he loved. Tears beaded the corner of his eyelids. He couldn't, his heart wouldn't be able to take it.

His heart... 

_He was made for you._

Levi... 

_Just once, be with your Alpha._

His body... 

_So go get him._

Erwin... 

_Don't let him go._

When those boots started walking away, something in him shattered.

Any walls he had up were all non-existent. Eren didn't think twice. He turned around and ran, ran towards the Commander, who turned just in time to be pulled down on Eren's lips, hungry, all-consuming, wrapping his arms around his neck. A brief moment of frozen surprise, but the Commander instantly moved, hoisted Eren off his feet, legs going around the Commander's waist, sinking into his arms and mouth and scent until Eren didn't know who he was anymore. 

"Then I'll make you mine." Erwin whispered against kiss-bitten lips and all Eren could do was nod, conceding defeat.

The flames seemed to go higher, but for once, Eren didn't feel the burn.

* * *

"Corporal Levi, we're not able to find the Commander!" The soldiers Levi sent to find their asshole Commander came back empty-handed and Levi rolled his eyes, staring at the horizon. That bastard, Erwin promised he would meet them at the courtyard to send them off but apparently the dumb blond had other ideas. Fucker. 

They were losing time, and Levi just wanted to get the shopping over with. He had a brat to go back to and he already missed him.

"Everything ready?" He asked Petra, who nodded her confirmation. Levi turned to the others, who were ready to ride out and just waiting their orders.

"Then fuck it, get on your horses, we're leaving. If anyone sees the Commander tell him we're already leaving." Levi mounted his horse with grace and ease, holding the reins steady when his stallion shifted forward, already restless and ready to ride. "We're moving out!"

"Yes, sir!" The other soldiers saluted, and Levi dug his heels on his stallion's flank causing it to rear on his hind legs and dart forward to the lowering drawbridge, green cloak billowing behind him. 

"Let's go!"

The caravan started, hooves galloping as the other soldiers followed the Corporal's command and moved, a thunderous sound of whinnying horses and wooden carts adding to the fray. 

As they passed the castle bridge to the dirt roads, Levi looked back at the castle, its gradually shrinking outline barely visible from the faint sunlight. Two days. It was just two days.

A sharp, foreboding feeling suddenly lanced through his chest. He grasped at the front of his cloak, eyes narrowing even as the feeling faded away as quickly as it came.

Something was wrong. 

"Corporal!" Petra noticed the action and moved closer in concern. "Is there anything wrong?"

"No. It's nothing." Levi forced himself to look forward again, knuckles white as they held onto the reins. "Let's just get this over with."

For once in his life, Levi desperately hoped that his instincts were wrong.


	7. Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of betrayal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaahh, a lot of people seem to hate Erwin now, so sorry babu, but you are being a bitch, so I don't blame them. This is the long awaited Eruren smut chapter, so enjoy your little fangirl hearts out.

In the Commander's chambers, things were progressing faster, heating up rapidly.   
  
Eren's mind was hazy and fogged, conscious thinking gradually slipping away as he let himself be carried to the now familiar door. Granted, he already didn't have much of that in the first place, but this was different from the other heats he had experienced.  
  
Going through a cycle by yourself was hell. Nothing was ever enough for you, nothing could ever quench the fire writhing through your veins, not your hand, not your fingers, not even the specialized equipment made for Omegas for their cycles. Eren even woke up sometimes just after his cycle, only to realize he didn't remember what he did during that time. It was simply mindless, carnal hunger. To mate. To procreate.   
  
The wooden door was slammed open, Eren's back entering first, body completely supported by Erwin's hands on his rear, squeezing and groping. When Eren actively stopped resisting his attraction to the Commander, he simply couldn't keep his hands off the other man anymore, so viciously turned on by the way he seemed to carry him so easily, so effortlessly. He couldn't stop kissing him, suckling at the perfect-shaped lips, running his hands through his hair, his neck, his shoulders, only pulling back to breathe and dive in again, always connected by a thin string of saliva as their tongues danced together, perfectly and immediately in sync. 

But now he was still conscious, could feel every sensation amplified and skittering across his body like lightning. Being with the Commander made the burn easier to bare if not ignore, every touch and a douse of cooling water that eased the fire burning within.

_I don't want to let him go..._ Eren thought desperately, pulling away just to breathe, arms tightening around Erwin's neck. Even breathing now seemed like a chore, a waste of time, the desire in his blood exciting him further. 

The Commander made an impatient noise, hands sliding up from Eren's posterior to his waist, bunching the shirt up to expose more skin. "Damn it... our clothes are in the way...!" He breathed, suckling at Eren's neck, a shudder escaping Eren's lips.

"W-Wait..." Eren said, breathless, the green Legion cloak falling silently under Eren's quick but clumsy fingers. Eren's flimsy, light sleeping shirt met the same fate, Eren moving back just enough to pull the now damnable shirt over his head, moaning at the sensation of warmer-than-usual hands now pressing fully against his fever-pitch skin. 

"Eren..." The way the Commander said his name was like drinking liquor; smooth, rich, sensual. Slow and coaxing, reverberating through his ear and into his very core. It made Eren shiver, breaths shuddering against rouge-colored lips. Thought had no place in his mind, only the haze of pain-heat-pleasure, as they made their way to the bed. How could he have thought to deny this? The sensations that buzzed through his skin now felt exquisite, letting him fall deeper and deeper into his heat. "A-Ah...!" He barely noticed them going down, being eased onto the cool sheets gently. The Commander hovered over him, keeping him pinned just with the sheer length and bulk of his body.   
  
It made his blood spike and his eyes darken further. Helpless had never felt so damn good.  
  
With one last lick to his lips, the Commander sat up slowly, and Eren didn't stop the whine from escaping, already reaching for the older man again. Erwin caught his hand easily, taking one of the digits into his mouth, and Eren's breath choked as his mouth watered at the sight, feeling that tongue wickedly curling around his finger in a silent promise of more pleasurable things to come.   
  
"Please, don't let go of me...!" Eren whimpered, arching into the touch, needing to be filled so  _badly_  he was sure he was going to die. His slick had already spread, staining the front of his pants, in between the crevices of his cheeks to the bed sheets below them, his insides throbbing for release.   
  
"Patience," he murmured after releasing the finger with a small pop, licking one long stripe from the bottom to the tip. "I intend on thoroughly enjoying all of you, Eren." Letting go, Erwin took off his jacket and gear with a quick efficiency that looked too slow in Eren's eyes, dropping the clothes and harness on the ground beside the bed with an audible  _whump_. The shirt was next, being unbuttoned slowly and methodically, bare chest gradually being revealed in front of Eren's eyes, pupils so wide barely a hint of those unique-colored irises could barely be seen.   
  
Broad-shouldered and muscled, with a handful of faint scars scattered around his pale skin, the Commander was an incarnation of a war god turned human. The dark green pendant rested on his sternum, glinting in the arriving sunlight, between sharply defined pectorals, the line going through tight abdominal muscles that flexed with every movement. His shoulders tapered down to a narrow waist, bare skin just ending at the line of their white trousers. He was beautiful.   
  
Eren could do nothing but stare, mouth watering, throat tight, another dribble of slick down his cock, making him squirm uncomfortably.   
  
"Have you taken your pills, Eren?" Erwin leaned forward, hands catching his hips, thumbs resting on the jut of his hipbones. It made small circles on his skin, just on the edge of his sleeping pants, making Eren's hips buck up, sensitized and yearning for more contact.  
  
"Yes... No... I don't know...?" Eren had no idea, couldn't remember if he did, why was the Commander even asking him questions right now? Right now he needed to be touched, spreading his legs like some wanton whore. "Commander, _please...!_ "  
  
"Erwin." Blue eyes sharpened their gaze, hands stilling on their movement. "If you want me to touch you, call me by my name."  
  
Eren's face lit up in blush, but for an entirely different reason.   
  
Erwin leaned up to kiss him, a steel edge to the press of their mouths, a roughness to his grip that Eren didn't know he craved for desperately. "Beg, Eren. Beg for me to fill you up, knot you like a proper Alpha should." He whispered, so so softly, with all the command of the Alpha behind his words, and any dignity and respect Eren had for himself immediately flew out the window.  
  
"E-Erwin... please... f-fuck me. Please, I need your cock inside me, I need it so bad--!" His breaths hitched, sobs coming out as he pushed his body against the older man's, "Give me your knot, please make me yours, Alpha, please--!"   
  
Erwin responded by abruptly pulling back, taking off Eren's pants along with him, in one smooth action that left Eren completely bare to the Commander's gaze. The rough, damp cloth, slid against his hardened length, the friction making Eren's eyes roll back.   
  
"So wet already." Erwin murmured, two fingers easily slipping inside him, his hole instantly clenching around the welcome pressure of being entered. He was being gently stretched out, the soft squelch between his legs making him shamelessly moan and spread his thighs more. "You're dripping, Eren." Another hand curled around his cock, fingers just the right amount of rough and tight, and Eren didn't know which way to go, pressing his hips down or up, both equally pleasurable and mind-blowing.  
  
"Fuck, Erwin--!" Eren's grip on the sheets became tighter, body trembling as he was finally pushed to the edge. Just a simple touch and he was already losing his mind. How much more could he take before he forgot who he was?   
  
With a wicked smirk, Erwin gave a skillful twist with his wrist, speeding up, while his other fingers bumped against that one spot, dragging against it so sinfully slow.   
  
Eren screamed, orgasm ripped from him so suddenly and violently, body wrecked at the sudden onslaught on euphoria. He almost tore at the sheets, completely blindsided, head forced back and back arching as he came, clear liquid spurting out over his bare stomach and chest. "Erwin--!"   
  
It never felt like this with his own fingers, not even with Levi. It was good, felt  _too_  good, so much that it was completely addicting. And Erwin wasn't inside him yet.

He must've passed out a little, because when Eren opened his eyes once more it was to the fuzzy image of the Commander taking off the rest of his clothes and sliding back into the bed, eyes dark and hands slick. His body was boneless, completely sated and throat raw, unable to remember what he said or did, nerves still a tad overwhelmed and a touch sensitive. But it wasn't enough; Eren could feel the embers already building in his gut, his spent cock twitching into hardness once more.  
  
"Are you all right?"   
  
Eren could barely nod, still skating on the rush of orgasm and his heat, but the Commander wasn't even close to finishing. Calloused hands went around his thighs and he was spread open, showing everything he had to the other man. Eren's face brightened in mortification, knees instinctively bringing themselves together because it was embarrassing, to be looked at like a banquet to a starving man. But Erwin shook his head, fingers running down tense calves, prying his legs open to completely look at him, to take in his disheveled and undone state.

"...Beautiful." Lips on his left ankle, moving through the curve of his calf, leaving a mark at the inside of his knee. Dark blue eyes peered at him, mouth on his thigh, bright twin sapphires in the dimly lit room. " _Mine._ " 

"Ha...!" Eren gripped the pillows under his head, hips jolting, as the other man took his other leg and lavished it with the same attention, leaving a constellation of marks in his wake, especially on the crease of his right thigh. Eren struggled to prop himself on his elbows, but could only quiver against the onslaught of ecstasy, 

When a tongue finally ran up against his hardened cock Eren jumped, one arm covering his face while the other reached out to run through the short, blond locks. "Erwin!" 

"Just let go and feel. We're just starting." Wet. Tight. Unbearably hot. Eren's spine was close to breaking as he arched, shuddering at the even suction, screaming as the other man swallowed, tongue swirling against the tip. His thighs trembled, and another wave of hot tears escaped Eren's eyes, feeling so weak and boneless. His grip on Erwin's head tightened, hips pinned down by his broad hands, could only lay down there and take it. 

"A-Ah, no, I-I can't...!" At that Erwin moved faster, bobbing his head up and down, taking him to the back of his throat, and Eren shrieked as another starburst exploded behind his eyes, cream spurting out and swallowed, again and again until Eren had to bat the Commander away, all but melting on the bed in exhaustion. 

But before he could take another breath he was pulled up, propped on the older man's lap and chest like a rag doll, cock instantly half-hard just from that simple display of strength. 

He could feel the thunder of the Commander's heart against his chest. At this vantage point Eren could look at the older man directly in the eyes, as he was gently urged to his knees, hands roaming down to spread his cheeks, entrance quivering with want when a tip of a finger brushed against it, could sink into its depths easily again.  
  
Eren's heart lurched, suddenly hit with worry and indecisiveness. Too much, too intimate to be entered like this, to have the Commander looking straight at him and see how much he wanted this, see how wide his pupils were blown and how high his cheeks were flushed, to let him see what he looked like in the throes of pleasure. He wanted to look away.   
  
But then the man leaned forward, licked into his mouth, and his worries were instantly scattered to the wind, wrapping his arms around broader shoulders and leaning into him as everything else seemed inconsequential. What was he so worried about? He was taken care of.   
  
It was too late to back out now.  
  
" _Oh_ ," Eren gasped, grasping at Erwin's shoulders as he sank down on Erwin's cock, so much bigger and thicker than anyone else he had been with. But his body swallowed him easily, sliding in without resistance, and their simultaneous groans were a symphony in the quiet room.   
  
Eren shuddered out a breath, feeling so full it shouldn't be possible. It felt right, complete in a way he couldn't describe, the way their bodies fit each other so naturally, opening for the Commander easily, clenching and squeezing him tight. Could feel the throb of his cock clinging to his insides, and Eren whimpered.   
  
So this was what an Alpha felt like.   
  
"Eren." The two syllables that made up his name sounded much _more_ when it came from the Commander. He was also trembling, breaths harsh, arms taut, blond hair askew and sticking to his face, and Eren knew this was the only time he would see the older man utterly undone. 

"Erwin..." A minute shift of the Commander's hips, and Eren almost collapsed, knees shaking and toes curling as every drag of the hardened length inside him lit a blaze under his skin, feeling the base of the Commander's knot teasing at the edge of his rim, so close, but not close enough.  
  
"I can feel you. All of you." Erwin murmured against his cheek, and Eren silently marveled at his will, never forcing down and just taking, letting Eren still have a measure of control. So big. So deep. It left Eren breathless.  
  
His mind was suddenly startlingly clear.   
  
"I can feel you too." Eren whispered back, fingers curling at the blond hair on the older man's neck as they inhaled the air the other breathed out. It was an unbelievably tender moment, the blue of the sky meeting the teal depths of the seas, bonded together by the slow pulse of their connected bodies.   
  
It was slow, at first. Small, shallow thrusts that felt like a punch to the stomach every time, Eren trying to meet them with a ground of his hips, only to be stopped by Erwin's hands, holding him still. Eren squirmed, gasping and pleading, wanting to feel the burn of a good, hard fuck, softer feelings replaced by carnal, lustful desire.   
  
"Knot me, knot me  _please_ \--!" Fingers scratched down toned arms, because this was torture. No other word for it. Eren managed to slam his hips down, swallowing Erwin in one deep thrust, crying out at how deep and full it was, how far the Commander reached into the parts of him he didn't know existed. "Deep, make it deeper, make me feel all of it!"   
  
The grip the Commander had on him hurt. It would bruise, and Eren wanted it to. "Turn around." The simple, bit off order had Eren scrambling to obey, a good Omega bitch, waiting to be claimed and fucked by an Alpha. Letting the Commander slip out of him was almost unbearable, but the promise of better things to come had him moving, going on all fours and presenting himself to the Commander, legs spread and hole clenching tightly in invitation.  
  
The moment the Commander sank deep inside of him again was greeted by a sigh of relief, hips aligning as Eren's arms gave out, fingers twisting in the cotton sheets below. Erwin didn't hesitate this time, starting a punishing rhythm that made Eren wail.   
  
"Fuck, fuck, fuck--!" Eren's cries were muffled by the sheets, every thrust and grind of Erwin's hips driving him forward. Lips pressing against his neck, brushing kisses on his shoulder, a bare chest plastered on his back, the pendant digging into his spine. Arms were around his chest, pinning him still, knees so wobbly it was close to collapsing, the brush of his own sensitive length tapping against the sheets giving surprising bursts of pleasure.   
  
The noises he was making was utterly shameless, every nerve in his body sparking like a the drag of blades on steel. He was going to come again, muscles melting under the liquid friction. Toes were curling, wanted to feel the Commander filling him up, that gush of wetness, locked inside so tight it wouldn't be able to escape. That thick, Alpha cock breeding him, fucking him enough to make him pregnant, to give him children with blond hair and bright green-blue eyes...   
  
The thought was so vile, so viciously  _wanted_  Eren shuddered, the pleased growl from the Commander's chest reverberating throughout his back. He was coming before he knew it, pearlescent slick spurting into the sheets, exhausted and oversensitive but it still wasn't enough.  
  
"Please, I can't--!" Eren wanted to pull away, on the brink of pleasure being pain being pleasure again. He was losing his mind, no one could feel something like this and still have their sanity. He was saying things, he knew he was, too addled with sensations to register his broken, begging tone, consumed so utterly full and complete.   
  
"Just one more Eren. One more for me." Erwin kissed his shoulder, relentless in his thrusts, still sounding so calm despite his harsh breaths, the sheer force of their bodies rocking together on the bed. Eren reached a trembling arm behind his back, cradling the blond head in his palm, fingers tearing at the short locks as he trembled through another release, legs too weak to even hold him up anymore. "I-I-Ah,  _Erwin--!_ "   
  
"Eren...!" With one final slam of his hips Erwin finally came, his deep rumbles and snarls muted by the teeth sinking into the side of Eren's neck. Eren cried out at the sudden flare of white-hot pain, replaced by an ecstasy so intense it made Eren come again, knot catching and locking them in place, so large and stretching him so widely it left Eren breathless. He felt every warm spurt coat his insides as he squeezed around Erwin like a vice, milking every drop he had to offer.   
  
For the first time, Eren felt nothing but true, whole contentment. He felt complete.   
  
They both collapsed on the bed, Erwin tucking Eren against him as they laid side-by-side. It would be a while before they could pull apart, Eren knew, could still feel the throb of the Commander's cock inside him, still hard and ready. But the fire was gone now, for the moment, replaced by the dampness of his sweat-slicked skin and the heat of the Commander's body behind him.  
  
"Sleep. You'll need your strength." The soft rumble of Erwin's voice murmured in his ear, followed by a nuzzle to the back of it, a subconscious gesture that made Eren's heart stutter and melt. But his eyes were dropping, his body going lax.

"Stay... inside me..." Eren mumbled, already slipping away into unconsciousness. 

The sun had already risen in the horizon, but Eren Jaeger was deeply asleep, nestled comfortably in his Alpha's arms.

* * *

"Eren."  
  
Darkness, with a soft voice cooing his name.  
  
"Eren."  
  
"... Hmm?" Too tired. Can't open his eyes. Body too heavy. Head too light.  
  
"Eren, wake up. You need to eat." Face tilted up a little, head raised slowly from the soft, cotton cloud. Something grainy and damp pressed to his mouth, slowly parting his lips open.   
  
Sweet, cool, flowing liquid filled his mouth. Eren's raw throat swallowed instinctively in gratitude, some spilling from the corners down to his jaw and neck, startling him back to some measure of consciousness.  
  
Once he couldn't drink anymore the cup was moved away, replaced by a small circle, smooth and crisp as it slid between his teeth. He had never eaten something like this, what was it?   
  
"Bite down and chew slowly." Was it him, or did the voice sound amused?   
  
Eren followed, teeth tearing at the skin and the burst of tangy sweetness on his tongue made a pleased, surprised sound escape his throat. His mind registered it as some kind of fruit, but fruit had never tasted like  _this_ , so succulent and delicious. Eren willingly opened his mouth for more, and ignored the chuckle he heard above him.   
  
Another piece was introduced, bruised lips kissing the grape as they reached Eren's mouth, suckling it into his mouth and tasting the fingers that was alongside it, biting into the fruit and making the juice squirt around his mouth and the fingers feeding him.  
  
"Messy." The continued chuckle skittered darkly along his nerves, setting them alight again, a thumb running at the corner of his lips. Eren turned his head, caught that thumb between his teeth, nipping gently at it and moaning at the taste of grape fruit along with the salt and tang of the other man's skin. It tasted good. His hand was moving before he knew it, grasping the other man's wrist as he lavished his entire attention to it, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his palm.   
  
Eren blearily opened his eyes to eventually meet Erwin's, who was sitting on the bed, as naked as the day he was born, holding Eren's head up with one hand, the other caged by Eren's hands and tongue, suckling one of his fingers and taking it in entirely with his mouth, coating with saliva.   
  
Still meeting the blue-eyed gaze, Eren continued to kiss and fondle the larger, calloused hand, kissing the tips of his fingers and laving his tongue on the grape juice stained on them, little kitten licks on the other man's skin until the only thing he could taste was the Commander, strong, heady, powerful. He couldn't get enough of it. With one last kiss, Eren released Erwin's hand, verdant green eyes wide and glazed over.   
  
There were no words between them, Erwin merely placing the plate of fruit on his bedside table as Eren reached for him, tugging him down once more on the sheets.   
  
He was turned to his side, the Commander slotted behind him as he simply raised Eren's leg and slid inside, Eren's hole stretched out and pliant as Erwin's cock slid between his cheeks and finally entered him, inch by gradual inch, until he was fully seated once more.   
  
Eren gasped, trying to find purchase, never realizing how deep the Commander could go until he could feel it now, thick and warm and throbbing. His hand was shaking, couldn't clench around anything. But an arm was slid under his waist, curling their bodies closer, damp fingers reaching for his own and twining them together, letting Eren cling to him as they moved.   
  
"Does it hurt?" Erwin asked quietly, warm breath tickling the back of his neck, pinpricks of pleasure that made him shiver and want to moan.   
  
Eren's face tinged scarlet, suddenly embarrassed and self-conscious for some reason he couldn't understand. "N-No..." his heart was going crazy, the scent of sex thick on his tongue. "I haven't... I don't know..."   
  
 _I don't know what to think anymore._  
  
A whisper of a kiss on his shoulder. "Then don't think. Just feel."   
  
It was slow, this time. So slow Eren was being taken apart, unable to do anything, go anywhere but along with the hot, lavish tide, the gentle rock of Erwin's hips, the way he just... took Eren's breath away.   
  
It felt so soft Eren wanted to cry and he did, tears falling down his eyes and into the sheets below him. Didn't know how to react, what to say, so indescribably helpless in the face of emotion. The side of his neck was aching, where the Commander sank his teeth into him just hours before, feeling his pulse ratchet beneath his skin.   
  
"No, stop, I--!" Erwin's other hand was around his waist, working on his arousal, thumb rubbing at the crown of his cock, smearing his slick around while his insides were stimulated by the slow grind of the man's hips.  
  
 _Don't._  
  
Eren cried out, the pressure building in his groin, fingers tightening around Erwin's, feeling his lips on his neck, sucking softly.  
  
 _Don't hold me so tenderly._  
  
His head was tilted back, mouth captured just in time as pleasure crested, spilling himself on Erwin's fingers.   
  
 _Please... don't make love to me._

* * *

Time was a concept Eren lost. The room was darkened with curtains, and whatever light he saw between them wasn't enough for him to determine how many hours he lost, but frankly he didn't care. But he knew it was already morning, but the bedroom was silent, the atmosphere secretive and intimate, only punctuated by their quiet groans and moans.  
  
Eren was taken in every position he could imagine in between eating and resting his sore body. On his back, front, knees, sides. Even managing to be on top, sinking himself down on Erwin's knot while the man watched him with dark, half-lidded eyes, hands balancing his hips. It was a combination of hormones and his heat, a dangerous cocktail that was disastrous if left alone. But Erwin never did.   
  
Afterwards, Eren would always sleep, temporarily sated, then woken up again when the burn inside his body became too much and he would need to be fucked again.   
  
Sometimes Eren was lucid enough to remember some short moments when he was awake, knowing there were hands carding through his hair gently, a wet cloth wiping away the sweat, semen and slick from his body, being bodily lifted up and placed on a couch with a blanket tucked around him while the sheets were quickly changed. And not once did the Alpha show his own exhaustion, taking care of Eren and making sure he was fed and hydrated, knotting him when his heat flared again, hour after hour after hour.   
  
The Commander talked to him too, sometimes. Told him about how this chamber used to be the presiding castle lord's, how sometimes he couldn't sleep because the bed was too soft and all he wanted was to sleep with his fellow soldiers downstairs, but his stature didn't allow him to and he was all but forced into taking it. How grand the room was in its heyday, gold and red draped around every furniture, mahogany and oak glinting in the lamplight.   
  
How beautiful Eren looked underneath him, shaking with the pleasure Erwin gave to him.  
  
There was one moment he remembered the the clearest. They were still knotted together, Eren sitting on Erwin's lap and cheek resting on his shoulder, his own limbs splayed around them while Erwin sat against the headboard, pillows piled behind his back as they both leaned against it. Eren watched him quietly as the Commander read documents by candlelight, one hand cradling the back of his head soothingly, sometimes putting down the paper to pop some food into his mouth, all the while making sure Eren wouldn't be disturbed from his rest.   
  
Even while helping an Omega through their cycle Erwin Smith didn't forget his duties as the Commander of the Scouting Legion, while Eren could barely think of doing anything else. It made something in his chest expand and ache at the same time. He was the perfect Alpha.  
  
 _He's perfect for me._  
  
As the day turned into night the Commander never left his side, if he did Eren didn't know about it. He was there when he slept and there when he opened his eyes, ready to set aside everything to be in Eren's beck and call, kisses and touches turning fierce as they looked at each other in the light of the fireplace, the furs silky smooth on his back as the blond man thrust into him, Eren dragging his fingers down large, muscled arms as he clung on for dear life.   
  
"Come for me," the Commander would whisper in his ear, and Eren's body would obey, clenching around his Alpha's knot and whimpering his name. 

* * *

As the next day dawned once more, Eren was sure he wouldn't be able to stand, body all but reduced to jelly, trembling with soreness and exhaustion. But the last vestiges of his heat were finally gone, and for once, Eren had a clear, if not throbbing head, when he was pulled away from sleep. The light gradually hit his eyes, the curtains once again drawn back and letting the sunlight   
  
The consequences of his actions didn't fully sink into him until his lower back twinged, and he sat up quickly, wincing when it made his head spin, blankets pooling at his hips, insides feeling like it's been picked up and bashed against the Walls multiple times.  
  
Love bites on his chest and neck, already fading quickly but still visible. The side of his throat felt like it had been mauled, limbs as if ready to detach at any given moment. He was black and blue all over, but couldn't deny the sensation of bone-deep satisfaction ripping inside him.   
  
He slept with the Commander and liked it, even _begged_ for it. Granted, it was within his heat, he wasn't in the right state of mind, but the fact that he _consented_  to it in the first place made his stomach turn and the shame burn behind his eyes. Bile was rising to his throat and he slapped a hand to his mouth, forcing it down again.   
  
What should he do? Should he tell the Corporal? He committed the most sacrilegious act in a committed relationship, he slept with another man behind his lover's back. What about the Commander? He tightened his grip on the sheets, breaths stuttering faster as the gravity of the situation was placed on his shoulders.  
  
 _Don't get into trouble when I'm not around to bail your ass._  
  
He was in so much trouble it wasn't funny.   
  
"Eren...?" He wasn't alone. He looked back with wide eyes as the Commander stirred and turned to face him, already half-sitting on the bed, hair ruffled, body as bruised and wrecked as Eren's, and they wouldn't heal easily. Eren's eyes bulged at the sight.  
  
 _I did that to him._  
  
They stared at each other, Erwin slowly raising his hand like trying to calm down an animal that was about to bolt at any minute. Eren certainly felt like it.   
  
The bedroom door slammed open before either one of them could say a word.  
  
"Erwin! I need you out of there now! Get your ass out of your room, Eren's gone and no one knows where he is! I was gone for one fucking day!  _One day!_ And now Auruo lost sight of the shitty brat and not even the other brats know where he's gone to! We need to organize a search party, fuck, no one's seen him around the castle--" The voice reached Eren's voice before his eyes did, and terror struck him like lightning, but he couldn't move, couldn't think.   
  
 _No._  
  
"--what the fuck were you doing that was so important--?!" The snarl was bitten off, replaced by shocked silence.   
  
There, standing on the doorway, staring at them with wide eyes, was the Corporal.

 


	8. Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What hurts the most are the wounds of the heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite chapter. Really. Because.
> 
> Trigger warnings: violence. 
> 
> That's all. :D
> 
> ALSO CHECK OUT [THIS FANART](http://titanjaeger.co.vu/post/101914817806/he-didnt-reject-me-again-please-check-out) FROM THE OP WHO POSTED THE PROMT (AKA [MY WAIFU](http://titanjaeger.co.vu/)). IT'S SO PERFECT I LOVE IT.

The tension in the room suddenly rocketed, so viscous and thick it could've been cut by their blades.  
  
Blood rushed in Eren's ears, pounding so loudly he couldn't hear himself breathing. Maybe he wasn't. It was better if he wasn't, because right now, he wanted to die.   
  
He would take being tortured, being killed,  _being eaten by a Titan_ , over this. To face the betrayal he did to his lover, to let him discover that he was a whorish Omega who slept around with any available Alpha once his lover's back was turned.   
  
"W-Wait, it's not what..." His voice cracked and he winced, holding a hand to his throat, shredded raw and aching that any sound was like pulling teeth. But it was reflex, something Eren couldn't stop himself from doing in time.   
  
_It's not what you think._  It was a stupid thing to say. What else would the Corporal think?   
  
Blue-grey eyes turned to him, the Corporal's nose flaring as he inhaled the saturated scents in the room, the unmistakable scent of sweat and sex, the scent of his lover marked and claimed by the man who he considered comrade and friend. His gaze moved up, taking in the proof of Eren's unfaithfulness, lingering on the marks, the scratches and bruises, all with an impassive, stoic expression.   
  
It was as terrifying as it was heartbreaking.   
  
Then his eyes flickered to his neck, on the side where Eren's fingers were splayed out, partially hiding the one mark that mattered the most, but it stood out starkly against the olive-toned skin.  
  
Finally, a flash of emotion on Levi's face, and it made Eren want to sink to the floor, heart and soul instantly torn apart as fresh tears pooled in his eyes.   
  
Eren only saw that look in the Corporal's eyes, just once. It was during the early stages of their relationship, still stumbling and trying to find their bearings around each other. Eren had gone into heat, and not knowing how incompatible their biology was, both of them thought that Levi could help him through it, could ease the pain and lust Eren would be consumed with despite not being an Alpha.   
  
It was a complete disaster. Eren completely refused his Corporal's touch, through no fault of his own volition, kept begging and pleading for an Alpha to take him, to fuck and knot him properly. Levi could only hold his trembling form tightly while Eren thrashed and moaned, instincts overtaking his usual senses and only saw the Corporal as a Beta hindrance, the only person capable of stopping his coupling with an Alpha, his own stabilizing pheromones able to ward away any Alpha who wanted to make their interest known.   
  
Afterwards Levi always made it a point to stay away from Eren when his cycles started, always leaving with a kiss to the brow and letting Eren watch him walk away without looking back. Both of them knew they couldn't go through that again, Levi being thoroughly rejected by his own lover and Eren consumed with guilt because he pushed his lover away.  
  
He wanted to disappear, wanted to do anything just to erase that look on his lover's face. He pulled the blanket closer in shame, hiding his bare chest from view. Levi was still staring at him, silent and hurt, expression (realization/pain/confusion/shock/rage/ _betrayal_ ) telling Eren everything what his words couldn't.   
  
His chest hurt. His head felt like it was going to burst. He couldn't bear the silence, the shock and pain on his lover's face.   
  
Before he knew it, he was screaming.  
  
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!"   
  
The lingering scream seemed to jolt both men from their daze, calm only lasting for a second. Without another word, the Corporal turned around and left, fleeing the chambers and Eren wanted to reach for him, knowing that this was the last time he would see his Corporal again... the exact moment Eren lost him forever, and it was entirely his fault.  
  
_Don't leave._  
  
But his body lurched; too sore and too exhausted and the sudden movement made Eren double up as pinpricks of pain shot around his body. Eren wrapped his arms around himself, trying to grit his teeth around the hurt he was feeling, had to stand up, go after the Corporal, explain to him, beg for his forgiveness--!!  
  
Eren entirely forgot that he wasn't alone. He was sobbing quietly, face buried in the blankets as he curled around himself, squeezing his eyes shut against the body-numbing sensation of losing half of his soul. Because that was what it felt like.  
  
When the Corporal turned around and left he took Eren's heart with him and crushed it into a million pieces with his bare hands.   
  
Erwin was already moving, sheets rusting as he stood up and went over to Eren's side of the bed. "Eren." He could feel the Commander looking at him in quiet concern, sitting down beside him and starting to lean over, and Eren instantly recoiled away.   
  
"Please... don't touch me." He didn't think he could bear anyone touching him right now. His voice was broken, small, and something must've registered with the other man because he stopped, keeping his distance, and for that Eren was grateful.   
  
"I will fix this, Eren. It's not your fault, not entirely." He could hear the Commander's voice but it was like hearing it underwater, garbled, bubbling, and passing over Eren's head completely.   
  
"He's never going to forgive me, sir."  _He's never going to forgive us,_  but that was something they both already knew.   
  
The sigh the Commander let out was heavy. Eren lifted his head to sneak a peek and the Commander seemed older, wearier, burdened despite his relatively young age. "He will blame me the most. And he should. When I took you it was with the consent of your body, but not your mind."  
  
"But... that's not true." Eren could still remember, fleetingly, the words he whispered to the Commander amidst the flickering torches and the empty corridor, the feeling of his fingers tangled in the blond locks and the lips kissing his neck.   
  
_I've always wanted you._  
  
"I've always been a good liar, Eren." Erwin answered with a smile that was entirely without humor. "Levi will believe me. Maybe even assume that I took you against your will entirely. You were in heat, in any court that will be enough evidence to determine you're psychologically incapacitated at that time. You couldn't give consensual consent, despite being of age."  
  
"But Commander--!" His fist tightened on the sheets. Why? Why was he so willing to put himself at risk for Eren? If this got out, that the Alpha Commander of the Scouting Legion took advantage of an Omega soldier during his heat, it would be scandalous. He would be court-martialed, possibly even executed. Just by looking at him Eren knew that he would plead guilty. Would never tell another soul that Eren was willing, that he allowed himself into the Commander's bed, and Erwin would take the secret with him until his last breath.   
  
He could've walked away. Eren was still in his right mind and had the faculties to reject the Commander at that time. Was even allowed to walk away. It was the Commander to stepped back, stopped himself from taking advantage of Eren's state while Eren shamelessly presented himself to him like a piece of meat.   
  
Erwin shook his head, smile still on his lips and a bit lopsided. "Forgive me. It's been a while that I've allowed myself to be attached to someone else. Everything I do seems to cause you pain, and I should be better than that. But I will fix this, Eren. You have my word." He stood up abruptly, moving with a determination that startled the brunet.  
  
"I will send for Arlert and Ackerman to tend to you." The drawers and closets were opened, a fresh uniform pulled out "You shouldn't be moving so much yet. What you tell them, I will leave it to your discretion."   
  
"...Sir?" Bewildered, Eren watched the older man dress himself again, the mention of his sister and best friend leaving him with a different kind of dread. He had to tell them. He couldn't exactly keep this a secret. They must be worried sick, he had been gone for more than a day and they didn't have an idea on where he was. Armin, he knew, would be more understanding, considering what his best friend knew, but Mikasa...   
  
Mikasa would kill him. Kill him and revive him and go after the Commander or the Corporal instead. Even both of them at the same time.   
  
Either way, Eren wouldn't be able to stop both of them from keep quiet about this affair. And the Commander basically told him to tell them what he wanted to. Paint him as a monster or as a savior, he left the decision entirely in Eren's hands.   
  
"You're just recovering from your heat. I won't let you strain your body more than you should." Slowly but surely Erwin seemed to disappear from his sight to be replaced once more with the Commander he knew better. "Stay in bed until they arrive. I know you recover quickly, but I'm not taking any chances."  
  
"Why?" The question was out before Eren could properly think about it. He looked at the Commander in despair. He couldn't understand. What did the Commander gain from all of this? "Why do this for me? What happened was both of our faults. I was willing, you know that--"  
  
The look Erwin gave him made him stop, heart catching in his throat. He recognized that look, only because he saw it the mirror everyday.   
  
It was the same expression Eren wore when he looked at the Corporal.   
  
The Commander moved towards him, gently reached out and touched his cheek. "Because I love you, Eren." Erwin answered quietly. He wiped away the welling of tears with the back of his fingers. "And your happiness will always be my first priority."   
  
_What...?_  It left Eren speechless and shocked, hand pressed against his suddenly warmer cheeks, heart skipping a beat as the older man strode out, the Wings of Freedom billowing behind him.  
  
That... never happened before. Eren felt his cheeks, still warm, heart fluttering under his ribcage. Why? He couldn't understand himself. Why was he feeling like this now? At that time, he wanted to melt. Wanted to ask the Commander to just stay beside him and let the Corporal go.  
  
The pain of losing the Corporal and the sudden blossom of warmth for the Commander was making him go insane. He pressed his face into his arms, trembling out a breath. What was he supposed to feel now? He didn't know, everything happened too fast, and he couldn't keep up.   
  
He didn't want to think anymore.   
  
"Eren!" He was so out of it he almost didn't hear his name called out, boots quickly running towards his direction. Mikasa. Armin. Eren set his jaw and didn't look up, even as their shadows appeared in the threshold of the doorway.   
  
Their voices abruptly stopped, boots pausing as well when the musky scent assaulted their senses. They knew what it was, how it looked, could connect the dots easily considering Eren was still naked underneath the sheets.  
  
Some part of Eren wondered if they would hate him now, seeing him as debauched as he was now.   
  
"Eren." Mikasa quickly approached him, her familiar Beta scent washing over him and regret slammed into him full force. Not even her calming pheromones could work on him right now. "What happened? The Commander told us to come here--" She bit off her own words as she looked around their surroundings, taking it all in. How lavish it was, and who was the only person allowed to have it.   
  
"Mikasa." Armin sat by Eren's other side, touching his elbow gingerly. Eren didn't have to raise his head to know that the blond was giving her a look, asking her to be silent. It was clear that both of them were gathering their own conclusions on what had happened.  
  
And they would be right. Completely, 100% right.   
  
"I..." Eren swallowed and tried to speak again. "I..." What should he say? What  _could_  he say? He could feel their expectant gazes on him, waiting for him to say something, something they could help him with, because Eren was always surrounded by people in his life.   
  
But it was the first time he felt truly, completely alone.  
  
"Armin, Mikasa... I just lost the man I loved."

* * *

The Corporal's quick strides garnered a second look from the other Legionnaires who met him on the way, but initially thought nothing of it. Perhaps the Corporal needed to be somewhere at once, although they had never seen that expression on his face before, or rather, didn't think that Corporal  _could_  make that kind of expression at all. 

Inside, Levi's emotions were so numerous and conflicting he didn't know what to do with all of them. Rage. Confusion. Betrayal. Pain. The shock of seeing his lover with another man had yet to completely subside, but he knew he did the right thing by walking away before he did something he truly regretted. 

His hands shook and he clenched them tightly, set his jaw against the sting building at the back of his eyes. In all his years living, never had he shed a tear for anyone, not even for Isabel and Farlan, whose death still stained his hands. At that moment, he made his choice, and tears were useless against something that he couldn't prevent. 

But Eren. The brat who forced his way into his heart, who burrowed into his very self and stayed there despite Levi's numerous attempts to cut him out, because he couldn't afford attachments, not in the kind of life he, they, lived. When the bright-eyed soldier looked at him in admiration Levi felt something in him stir into life, a whisper of the future maelstrom that tossed him into the kind of chaos he didn't know how to navigate through.

He didn't think it was possible, after everything, but it happened. 

Eren Jaeger managed to make him feel again, deeper and stronger than ever before.

But everything had a price. It was the way the universe worked, because the universe was a colossal  _bitch_  and she never liked seeing anyone truly happy. What you have right now, I will take away threefold, was her law, and with Levi she was particularly strict. He paid a steep price for the things he had now, and he paid for it dearly. 

Sometimes Levi hated Eren. Hated the way he made it so  _easy_  for Levi to notice him, to care for him, to eventually fucking fall in love with him, a teenager at least ten years his junior and a subordinate to boot. But then Eren would just give him this  _look_  and this  _smile_  and Levi wouldn't mind so much, made him feel that it was going to be worth it. It was completely selfish, to steal away small moments of happiness because he could, and Levi never claimed to be selfless. 

But the universe still continued to fuck around with him, seemingly laughing at the way he struggled against her other bitch of a sister, Fate, because once again he wasn't playing by her rules. He fell in love with an Omega. He was a Beta. Of course this was going to bite him in the ass one day.

He just didn't think that the bite would also rip his heart apart.

"Levi!"

Just the sound of his voice made his blood boil and a snarl to escape his lips. Just the mere memory -- bruises and kisses on that tanned skin, bright eyes wide with pain and guilt, a broken voice, pleading  _It's not what you think--!_  -- made rage rise quickly within him. How dare he. How dare Erwin go after him, after what he did to Eren, after what he did to  _him_! 

Because his heart still refused to believe Eren would do this to him, to  _them_ , willingly. Because Eren loved him, never lied to him, continued to look at him and just him and no one else. 

Despite seeing the proof with his own two eyes, the marks that littered the skin, the  _claim_  branded on his body, Levi, stupidly, still wanted to believe in his brat. Wanted to believe in Eren and what they felt for each other was stronger than the desires and impulses their bodies had. 

"Levi!" 

Damn him. Damn Erwin and his handsome face and his Alpha status. Damn him for making Levi jealous, for having Eren in a way he never could, for rubbing it in his face that Eren will never be completely his, not when he was around. 

Because he could take Eren away easily, and Levi would have no way to fight back, if Erwin really wanted to.

He was catching up, Levi could already smell him, the scent of fresh spring water along with the musky scent of sweat and sex. Blue-gray eyes widened, chest caving in just a little bit more. He could also smell the sunshine and grass along with it, so familiar that it only reminded Levi of what he had just lost. 

Levi was going to kill him.

Without another word he whirled around and buried his fist in the taller man's gut, snarling in satisfaction at the solid hit and the way Erwin doubled over in pain, wind knocked out of him. He was swift, once Erwin was on his knees, clutching at his blond hair and his leg bending to deliver a resounding hit to his face, making him grunt in pain, the telltale crack of bone under his knee making Levi howl for more. 

It felt good, to make him fall to his knees, because Erwin deserved it, every single hit. The man he trusted to have his back, to save them from their caged prison, stole away the one thing Levi treasured the most in the world.

"You bastard!" He clutched at Erwin's collar, another punch to his face with other hand. Again. Again. Blood was spurting out, Levi's own fist split and torn, aching and screaming but he didn't care, didn't give a flying fuck, fueled by anger and hate. "You were planning it from the start, weren't you?!" Punch. "You wanted to take him away from me!" Punch. Kick.

"Eren isn't yours." Blue eyes peered up at him, still so placidly calm and steady despite the blood streaming from his nose and the way his cheeks were puffed. "He was in heat, and I merely helped him along."

The red in his vision turned dark. 

" _He chose to be mine!_ " He lifted Erwin by his shirt and gave another blow, sending him sprawling to the ground. Levi would've chased after him, stomped and kicked him until the blond was nothing but a bloodied splatter under his boot. "You took advantage of him! How much lower can you fucking get?!" So he was right. Eren wasn't raped, not exactly, but he wasn't in a position to give consent. Erwin must've bidden his time, waited until Levi wasn't around to protect his brat and then took him while he was in delirious heat. Levi's heart ached, both in guilt that he left Eren alone, and that he chose to leave yesterday. 

He should've noticed sooner. That Eren was in heat. Once again, his decisions led him to a path that he would always regret later on.

"I wanted to. I've had my eye on him for a very long time." Erwin answered simply, no regret or guilt in his voice or expression and it was just like him to face Levi's wrath straight on, offering no excuses or reasons. "Begged for me, for an Alpha, to take care of him. Would you be able to resist? Those beautiful eyes..." 

Erwin was now just egging him on, the asshole. And damned if Levi didn't fall into the trap, hook, line and sinker. "Fuck you!" He had Erwin's shirt in his grip again, rearing back to destroy his face completely when he was suddenly violently pulled back, limbs pinned and frozen in place.

"Corporal!" 

"Stop it, sir!" 

"Levi!" Hanji was shouting in his ear, multiple arms and hands holding him back, but he struggled to get free, hands clawing for Erwin's flesh. He'll be damned if he let anyone stop him now. "Calm down, stop! What are you doing?! You're going to kill him!"

It was only then that Levi was aware of where they were: in the middle of a corridor, with many members of the Scouting Legion watching the scene unfold in front of their stunned eyes. The sight of the enraged Corporal beating the shit out of their Commander was something out of a nightmare, something they didn't thought was possible until it was playing out in front of them. The way the Corporal tore into the Commander was terror-inducing, a wild animal in the form of a human. Beautiful, savage and deadly. All of them were sure that if the Corporal wasn't stopped, he might as well had killed the Commander with his bare hands. 

Levi spat at Erwin's prone body, watching as he was slowly helped up by Mike and Nanaba, a cloth already wiping away the blood on his face, Mike leaning forward to assess the damage. "Stay the fuck out of this, four-eyes! Let me go!" His squad was the one holding him back, Petra and Auruo with one arm, Gunther with the other, and Eld behind him, arms wrapped around his torso. Strained effort on their faces as Levi fought against them with all his strength. It wasn't an easy feat to keep him still. 

"It's fine." Erwin was saying as he was helped to his feet, the front of his uniform splattered with crimson. "I'm all right." 

"YOU  _CLAIMED_  HIM, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He roared, because that was the core of it all. Eren had a claiming mark on his neck, letting others know that he was already mated and belonged to another person. Levi would've understood if it was just the heat, he wouldn't be happy about it, but he could accept it. But placing a claiming mark on another person's mate without either parties' permission was the lowest of the low. 

It was the betrayal Levi could never forgive. 

"You took me away from the only life I've known." He hissed, remembering how they first met, that even until now, Levi still harbored a small grudge towards Erwin for Farlan and Isabel's deaths. If only he wasn't forced to join the Legion, if only he cared a little less about them. If only he made the right choices. 

Levi lost everything when he followed Erwin into the Legion. He lost his first family, his known way of life. But the Legion let him gain a new family, a purpose, and eventually someone he was willing to fight to live for. Would he lose all of it again? "Are you going to take him away from me too because you could?! Because you're a fucking Alpha?!"

He considered Erwin an enemy, a rival, eventually a comrade and even a friend. As a commanding officer he trusted Erwin to make the right decisions for their victory, even if it cost them a lot of lives. As a man from the underground he didn't think he would get along with someone who lived in the Inner Walls, but he did, and Levi was proud to be a part of the Scouting Legion, to be a part of the group who would save humanity, to have comrades-in-arms who he could trust not just with his life, but his heart as well.

It made what happened before all the more painful to bear. 

The answer Erwin gave was deceptively simple.

"He didn't reject me." 

And just like that, all the fight had gone out of Levi's body, sagging in Eld's arms as the truth completely hit home. That, perhaps, was what hurt the most. Even if Erwin managed to mark Eren as his, it was Eren's answer that crushed Levi completely. 

Eren didn't reject him. 

Hanji was observing them both, Levi knew, staring at them in concern and wondering what had caused this. "Okay... I don't know what happened, but you know how we settle things here." Hanji said seriously, nodding towards Mike and Nanaba who were holding Erwin up. "Either you let the Commander take five swings at you, or we push this up to the brass for assaulting a superior officer without due cause."

"Let him hit me," was Levi's immediate answer, despite the ticking of his jaw. There was plenty of due cause, but he couldn't say it out loud. Not when it would risk Eren's discovery as well. 

Mike and Nanaba moved forward with Erwin between them, who was seemingly not able to stand upright (serves the son of a bitch right, Levi thought viciously) until they were in front of him. Levi was still pinned down, just as a precaution, snarling when Erwin naturally towered over him.

The blows were mere glances on his face, making his head turn to the side as he bit the inside of his cheek, lip split and bitter copper filled his mouth. It wasn't as strong as he knew Erwin's punches could be, narrow blue-grey meeting blue every after delivered punch, never looking away.

Both of them knew who should be receiving the hits now, and it wasn't Levi. 

With the final blow, Levi spat out the blood, licking at his bottom lip as he was slowly released. 

"It never happened," Hanji stated and nodded to the rest of the spectators, who nodded as well and eventually dispersed. It would be the talk of the day, even the week, of course, but only in private circles. As far as the rest of the Legion was concerned, everything was settled.

Not so with the rest who opted to stay behind and assess the damage done to the two men.

"His nose is broken," Mike told Hanji, nostrils flaring as he gave the Commander an inscrutable look. "We need to set it again." Mike was an Alpha, and his sense of smell was sharper than most Alphas they knew. Mike was a smart man, could already figure out the events that transpired just by figuring out the scents underneath all the blood and pain. 

"Do what you need to do." Erwin answered thickly and Levi growled, the only thing stopping him from flying out and permanently bashing Erwin's face in was the fact that he was going to be restrained again if he did. There was a snap of cartilage being set straight again and the sharp intake of breath from the blond, the only indication of the pain he felt.

"Take Erwin to the healing bay, and let him lie down, but don't let him sleep! He's gonna have one hell of a concussion," Hanji was saying to Mike, who nodded and half-carried, half-walked the Commander away, Nanaba holding the bloodied cloth to Erwin's still bleeding nose. "And as for you, Levi. Care to explain to me what the hell happened back there?!" Hanji flailed, waving their hands around. "You ruined Commander Handsome's face without a reason!"

Levi scowled darkly, crossing his arms and managing retain his poker face despite his smarting knuckles and cheeks. Anger still simmered and writhed at the surface, just waiting to spill at the wrong person at the right moment. "There's plenty of reason. But that's just between the two of us."

"Um, Corporal, if you don't mind me..." The only reason Petra was only allowed to speak was because she was an Alpha, if it was anyone else they would've been killed through Levi's glare alone. "You were taking about a 'him'. Who...?"

"It's none of your concern." His hands throbbed. Nails bit into his bicep. He could still remember Erwin telling him about his first love, a woman he let go to another man because Erwin chose duty over love. 

What about now? Would he let Eren go, now that he could have both? Now that he had a chance, because he was more compatible for Eren physically?

"Come on, let me treat your hands." Hanji sighed, beckoning for him to follow. "You have a lot of explaining to do."

He didn't have to explain shit to anyone. But there was one thing Levi knew. 

_I can't let you go, Eren. I don't have the strength, or the sanity to._


	9. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People aren't born alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath. Some Shinganshina Trio and 104th bonding, and something bigger than just going through one heat together.

A few floors up, away from the one-sided brawl, the Commander's bedroom was eerily silent save for the occasional murmurs between Armin and Mikasa, with Eren deathly silent between them. They didn't say another word to him, which Eren was terribly grateful for, because he didn't think he could reply back even if he tried. He wrapped his pain around him like a nonseasonal coat, burying his thoughts in worry and regret, leaning on Mikasa's sturdy frame and let his modesty be covered by the sheets whose scent of sex and sin still lingered on his skin. 

What would they think of him now? Would they think of him a whore? Be angry that he managed to keep this a secret from them for a very long time? 

Eren could feel his control on his limbs returning. It usually took Omegas a complete day to recover post-heat cycle, but Eren's regenerative abilities cut that time by half. If he wanted to, he could toss them out, clean up after himself, not well, but he could do it.

But once more, he let his Omega instincts take over and let himself be tended to by his friends... his family.

"Mikasa, he needs to be cleaned up." Armin was saying quietly, words buzzing around Eren's ears but never really registering. "I'll get his clothes and toiletries. I think that door leads to the bathing chamber, so you can take him there."

"We'll be all right. Thank you, Armin." Mikasa answered back, her reply shaking Eren out of his stupor. He blinked slowly, the familiar blond bob already gone when he looked at his side.

"Where's--?" The way his voice remained painfully small made him cringe a little inside. 

"Armin just got your things. Can you stand?" Mikasa looked down on him, visibly concerned, and once again Eren cursed himself for putting that expression on her face. The only time she showed how she felt was when Eren or Armin were around, and so rare that it was Eren had always resolved to keep a smile on her face when she did. She was going to say something, he knew she did, she never kept quiet when Eren was distressed or upset. 

She was their body, Armin was their mind, but he, he was their heart. It was something all of them knew and accepted as a part of the family they created and had. 

Eren didn't think he would be able to bear it.

"I just want to be clean. Please." If she heard the double meaning in his statement, she didn't voice it out loud. They stood up, Eren gingerly, and shuffled slowly towards the bathing chambers, Mikasa's arm tightly wrapped around his shoulders as she helped him along. Nudity wasn't an issue for both of them; they were in the military, seeing blood and guts were par for the course and a naked body didn't compare to that at all.

But Eren felt the way her nails dug into his shoulder as the full extent of his bruises were revealed in front of her widening dark eyes, before narrowing with an emotion Eren recognized all too well.

However, Mikasa continued to stay her tongue, leading him into the bathing chambers, opening the wooden door for them. Both of them had to blink at its sheer elegance, four columns surrounding a large, shallow pool in the middle of the room. It was empty, but four small statues were situated at each corner, maidens who held water jugs aloft and tilted towards the pool, jar mouths open where the water would pour out of them. 

Eren could remember bits and pieces of this room, the way the walls glimmered the the torchlight, how night had fallen and he was taken from the bed to sink into the steaming water to be cleaned, Erwin's arms around him as they kissed and whispered in the shallow pool. 

_"It's wrong to want you so much." Eren whimpered into Erwin's parted lips, moaning, in the rare moments of his lucidity. His hips were moving of their own accord, grinding himself on top of Erwin's cock, the water sloshing around them. The water felt glorious, not too hot or cold, hair freshly washed and sticking to his brow._

_"You're wrong." Erwin had murmured back, droplets of water making invisible webs crisscrossing, leaning forward to taste the warm water on Eren's bottom lip, tongue curling out to capture Eren's own._

_"You just don't want me enough."_

Eren's cheeks brightened at the sudden memory, eyes landing on the exact spot the short conversation took place. 

It was surprising how Mikasa's patience lasted this long, Eren thought, as her lips pursed and she helped him down the small steps to sit on the very bottom. "... I'll draw you some water." She left him, went to search for a lever or crank to let the water flow into the pool. 

"It's on the wall, beside the second torch." Eren's lips were moving before he knew it, and colored more at the brief look his sister gave him before finding the lever and pushing it down.

At once, the water gushed out from the water jars, strong and steady as it gradually filled up the bath. The warm water hit his toes and it curled at the nice sensation, Eren steadily watching as the pool was filled up quickly, water a constant torrent as they escaped the jars. 

_"It's a beautiful piece of invention, this bath. It's been here ever since the castle was built and it remains in good condition even until now. It's one of the few things I like about these quarters." A chuckle. "This is actually my favorite room. Here I can be myself and not the Commander everyone is depending on."_

"Eren," Mikasa said, starling him from his own wandering mind. Why was he remembering all these things now? "Pulling it up stops the water?"

"Uh, yeah." Eren moved forward until he was submerged, water lapping at his collarbone gently as he raised his arms and gently scrubbed at his arm with his bare hands, wiping away the sweat and grime as best he could, dunking his head and brisking rubbing his hair. The warm water was a welcome respite to the ice-cold ones they always had, one that Eren knew was a privilege and should savor for as long as he could. 

Mikasa sat on the edge of the pool, watching him clean, her own hand making swills as she stirred the water with a finger. 

"Eren, what are you doing?" 

Eren winced. He knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself. "Mikasa, this is--"

"I thought you liked the shorty." Painfully blunt, as always, the mention of his now ex-lover punching another hole in Eren's already bleeding chest. "But this? Sleeping with the Commander? Eren, what were you thinking?" 

"I did. I still do." Eren's voice became smaller. "You don't understand Mikasa, I was in heat and--"

"You were  _in heat_?" If possible, Mikasa's voice became even lower and Eren realized all too late that it was the wrong thing to say. "The Commander took advantage of you?" If Mikasa was the type to shout, she would already be.

"No! No, he didn't!" Eren turned around quickly to meet her eyes, his own wide and beseeching as he pleaded for her silence and understanding. "He didn't take advantage of me, I was the one who took advantage of him!"

The silence was abrupt and shocked.

"Mikasa, I... I wanted him. I wanted the Commander." Eren was the first to look away, wrapped his arms around himself and whispered to his arms, so quiet that Mikasa wouldn't be able to hear if she wasn't that close in the first place. "He's an Alpha. During my heat, he caught me in the corridor and knew I would be in danger if I stayed there any longer. I was the one who went to him, asked him to take me to..." His cheeks blushed as he continued. "I was the one who propositioned him. He pushed me away, Mikasa. He didn't want to do anything that I didn't want to. But I... I can still think." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Even when he pushed me away I know I still wanted to be with him. So I pushed back. And he couldn't resist." 

Was it wrong? Was it wrong to use what he had to get what he wanted? To manipulate the Commander's feelings for him when Eren's own wasn't even reciprocated? 

"What about the Corporal?" 

"I don't know anymore!" Eren shouted, voice echoing in the silent chamber. "I love him so much I want to spend the rest of my life with him! I want to be with him, live with him outside the Walls and see the ocean with him! All of us!" A large splash as a hard fist went through the soft water. 

"But the Commander... he's everything I didn't know I wanted." Eren pressed his wet hands into his face, muffling the start of a sob. "My body... my body yearns for him like the a moth to a flame. Have you felt that way, Mikasa? Like the only time you knew how to breathe was with them, like--" 

"Seeing them was like seeing the sun for the first time? I have." Mikasa's answer surprised him enough to look at her, only to see that she was staring at the wall, eyes soft as she remembered something, or some _one_  fondly. Eren recognized that look enough because it was the way he knew he also looked when he remembered the person he loved. "I do." Her answer was more than understanding; it was kinship, and never had Eren felt closer to his sister than this moment. 

"... Who?" Eren turned around and rested his arms on the edge of the pool. "Is it someone I know?"

"... I'll tell you, but not right now. It's still..." Mikasa paused, "complicated. With us." Eren had no idea his sister even felt for someone in  _that_  way, and it brought another sting of guilt because Eren had been wrapped up in his own problems to know about his sister's life. 

He was struck by a sudden horrible thought. "Please don't tell me it's Jean."

"It isn't." There was a ghost of a smile on her face. "But you know them." 

"...What am I going to do?" Eren shifted and placed his head on Mikasa's lap, knowing that she wouldn't mind getting her white pants wet. Besides, it was just water. "Mikasa, right now I feel like I'm being torn in two." He whispered into her thigh, feeling her hands card along his damp hair. 

"What does it feel like when you're with the Corporal?" The strange question, blurted out so suddenly, had Eren pausing, but he knew that Mikasa didn't ask questions for nothing. 

"What does it feel like...?"

"Yes. What do you feel when you're with the Corporal?"

Eren closed his eyes and thought. The Corporal... the Corporal felt like the wind on his face when he lied down on the grass. He's felt like large tree Eren would be napping under, its thick leaves shielding him from the glare of the sun's rays, its solid truck and roots a soft pillow for Eren's neck and back to rest on. He would be freshly baked bread on an early morning, hot from an oven, warming Eren's fingers and stomach as its sweet, fluffy taste melted on his tongue. 

Seeing the sun for the first time would be blinding, frightening. Be close enough to the flame and a moth's wings would be burnt and he would die. But the Corporal was... he felt like...

_The Corporal feels like home._

"Mikasa?! Eren?!"

"In here, Armin!" Eren shouted before she could get a word in edgewise, causing her to glare down at him. 

"I got your clothes and your toiletries--" Armin was soon visible, entering through the door, stopping like they did when he saw the room. "W-Wow..."

"It's okay, it is a bit overwhelming." Eren waved him forward, already impatient, and Armin laughed softly, closing the door behind him. 

"Are you all right, Eren?" Armin seemingly gave himself a physical shake and approached them, Eren's clothes and toiletries in his arms. He placed them on the stone tiles near them, sitting down at Mikasa's side, still unable to take his eyes off the room. "Here. Your clothes. Have I missed anything?"

"I'm fine. Thanks, Armin." Eren lifted his head out of Mikasa's lap as Armin joined Mikasa at the edge of the pool, exchanging a look with her while Armin looked on bemusedly. Friend or no, there were still things that siblings had to share just for themselves. "I'm feeling fine now, because of the water." The ache in his legs were gone now, as were all the bruises littered on his chest and back, the warm water therapeutic in soaking out the various aches and pains of his body. 

"Make sure to scrub with soap too." Mikasa said briskly, earlier lecture forgotten as she handed Eren the bar of soap. "We need to make your scent as neutral as possible."

"And your pills, take them after you've finished your bath." Armin added. 

"Stop nagging, both of you." Eren rolled his eyes as he started lathering the soap, its clean scent missed dearly. Armin laughed softly, watching his best friend with affection in his eyes. Their talk wasn't over, not by a long shot, but Eren was thankful for the respite.

It was nice to forget and be normal again, if only for a short moment.

"Eren, what's that on your neck?" Armin asked abruptly, halting the easy atmosphere that existed between the three of them.

"On my neck?" Eren raised his hand and pressed it against the side, wincing at the flare of pain it caused. "Ouch!" That's strange. Usually all of Eren's bruises would be gone by now, and just to make sure Eren looked down on his chest to see if they were gone, and lo and behold, they were. His chest was once again smooth and unblemished, as if nothing happened in the first place. 

"Armin?" Mikasa's head whipped towards Armin, who continued to stare at Eren as shock, realization, and horror filled his features.

"Eren..." His voice trembled. 

"You've been claimed."

* * *

Slowly, the color drained out of Eren's face.

"What?"

"Eren, you have a claiming mark on your neck!" Armin exclaimed, trying to lean over and see it properly, only to stopped by Mikasa's hand gripping his collar to stop him from topping over the pool.

"Armin! What you do mean? I thought it's just one of the--" Mikasa's head turned towards Eren as well, peering at his neck, dark eyes widening as she, too, recognized the mark. 

"T-That's impossible!" If possible, Eren's face was a mix of white and red, the latter taking more prominence as color washed his cheeks once more. "A claiming mark?! But that's only for--!"

"Mated partners." Mikasa finished in a hushed voice, as silence reigned over them.

A claiming mark was the most important mark you could see on a person's body. A person bearing one meant they were mated to another, and it was as good as a marriage. It could be on either side of a person's neck but it was highly visible, standing out against the skin and only fading when the other had died or rejected the mark. It was a tangible connection to the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with, undeniable proof of your commitment and dedication to your chosen partner in life. 

Eren's parents were mated, Carla and Grisha had their claiming marks on the left side of their neck. When he was younger Eren could sometimes see his father leaning in to kiss his mother's neck, the bright blush on her cheeks not long in appearing afterwards. He didn't understand it then, why his mother was acting strange when his father did that, only knowing later on that that sign of affection was more intimate than actually kissing them on the lips.

Being mated to another was similar to regaining the other half of your soul. Losing your partner was the opposite. Having a special person and making them your world was a frightening thought, knowing that you'd lose more than yourself if you lost them. But it was a risk most people were willing to make, despite living in fear of being devoured by Titans. 

It was rare to see mated partners in the military, even rarer in the Scouting Legion, when every expedition could be your final one. But there were a few, sitting beside each other during meals, looking at each other with quiet affection that made their feelings for each other all the more stronger when viewed by an outsider's eyes. Eren often found his eyes wandering towards them, wondering how they could do it, to stay together in a place where death was almost certain. But they were happy and content, as if there was no other place they'd rather be, and Eren admired them greatly for it. 

"The Commander marked you as his." Armin whispered. "I can't be mistaken. Eren, you're..."

"There has to be some mistake!" His hand cupped the right side, over the mark, as beseeching verdant-green eyes swept over the expressions of his sister and best friend. "I can't be claimed! I never wanted to be...! The Commander isn't--!" 

It couldn't be. It should be impossible. When? When did the Commander bite down and mark him? Eren couldn't remember, but it had to be during his heat. The mark throbbed, and Eren gasped, letting his fingers run over the grooves of every tooth sunk into his skin, the half-crescent of teeth imprinted forever on his body.

Sensitive. His back shuddered and he stopped, covering the mark again as he looked at the two of them in horror. 

No.

"Why do I--? I haven't--" _I haven't accepted him._ A claiming had to be a mutual agreement between two parties. Eren wanted the Commander, but not like that. Never like that. He didn't want to be claimed, not yet, and if he did, it wasn't the Commander. 

If there's someone he wanted to be claimed by, it was the Corporal.

But the tingling on his neck continued to prove him wrong.

"Eren, when we saw the Commander earlier, he had no mark." Mikasa said, staring at Eren with an indescribable look in her eyes. "Am I right, Armin?"

"Is that possible?" Eren turned to Armin, who had his thinking expression on once more.

"I've never heard of it happening before, but then again, we didn't know that Titans could be human until Eren happened. But Mikasa's right, the Commander had no claiming mark on him." The calculating stare Armin was giving him made Eren somewhat uncomfortable but it was familiar, and Eren trusted Armin's mind to find the answers for them. "Let me ask Hanji for their help, I'd really like to get to the bottom of this." His eyes narrowed in determination. 

"We'll get to the bottom of this, so don't worry, Eren." 

"Eren, we can think about it later." Mikasa said, voice gentle. "Right now, you need to get out of the bath." 

Eren's shoulders sagged in relief. If the Commander wasn't claimed then the connection was only one-sided. They could still fix this. Eren could still win the Corporal back. Armin and Mikasa would help him, despite what he did.

He knew he didn't deserve the Corporal, but he was willing to do anything to get him back, to be forgiven for the biggest mistake he had done in his life. 

The Corporal. 

"Oh, walls." Eren whispered, as comprehension hit him like a particularly hard-hitting cannon ball. 

"The Corporal saw the mark." 

It was the only explanation Eren had for the Corporal's reaction. Not only had Eren slept with another man, he was also claimed by him. It would explain the pain and complete betrayal on his face, the hurt in his eyes as he stared at them both.

_He thought I chose the Commander._

"He saw that I was already claimed." He pressed his palm harder against his flesh, wanted to claw out the teeth marks on his neck. "He saw... he saw that I'm..." The tears were building again in his eyes, stinging and threatening to spill out.

What kind of person was he, not realizing he was claimed until now? For letting his guard down? For sleeping with the Commander in the first place? Why did the claiming still happen despite Eren not returning the Commander's feelings?

Then look me in the eye and tell me you will never be able to return what I feel for you.

That's right. Eren's eyes slowly widened. That time... Eren wasn't able to reject the Commander at all.

But did a non-rejection automatically equal acceptance?

Eventually Mikasa had to help him out of the bath, the revelation stunning him into a complete stupor. His neck was aching, resonating with the emotions thundering in his chest. Everything was so complicated he didn't know where to start.

But he wasn't alone. He had his family with him. Eren maay have lost the man he loved, but he still had his siblings left.

The uplifting thought made Eren smile, pulling himself up from the pool with his sister's help, Armin finding a towel for him.

A sudden wave of dizziness suddenly swept through him, making his knees buckle and collapse. He gasped, instinctively placing his hands in front of him to break his fall.

"Eren!" Mikasa took the most of his weight, catching him under his arms and keeping him upright. "Are you all right?" Her panicked voice cut through the haze of his mind, and he tried to lift his head to stare at her. 

"Don't worry... it's just the heat." Eren muttered, though not attempting to carry his weight yet, trying to make the world seem right again, blinking multiple times to clear his vision. His head was spinning, stomach suddenly churning for some reason. "I don't know the last time I've eaten."

"Armin!" His arm was thrown around Mikasa's shoulders, hefted upright with her other arm wrapped around his waist. If Eren wasn't feeling so sick he would've been embarrassed at his sister's ability to carry him around easily like a sack of potatoes. "Where's the towel?"

"Here!" Armin came back, eyes wide when he saw what happened. "Eren!" He rushed towards them. 

"I'll be fine. Just... get me out of here." The steam of the room was getting to him, that had to be it. Eren couldn't see straight anymore. "Give me the towel."

Armin was quick in rubbing out the moisture in Eren's hair was they exited the bathing chambers, Eren sighing as the cooler air entered his lungs. Still a bit woozy, Eren let himself be dressed again, back to his wool shirt and white pants, the key once again slipped on his neck. 

"We should cover your mark," Armin said, wrapping up his neck with a white cloth, tight enough to be wrapped several times, but loose enough that he could still breathe and swallow normally. "We don't need to bring any attention to it. Something about..." he muttered quickly, thinking. "An accident in Titan training that hasn't been healed yet. The Commander would back us up."

"Still dizzy?" Mikasa murmured, ruffling his towel-dried hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." Eren answered truthfully. The windows were open, letting the fresh air in the bedroom chambers and dissipating the lingering scents of sweat and sex. "I just need to eat."

"Then let's go down. There's some left overs in the kitchen, I think." Armin gave him one more once-over while Mikasa pulled him to his feet.

And as Eren followed them out of the room, he couldn't help but palm the side of his neck, the claiming mark safe and hidden by many layers of cotton. He hadn't seen it, not yet, maybe he should check a mirror and see how it looked like. Armin and Mikasa were observing him from the corners of their eyes as they went down the stairs, only to be met by groups of Legionnaires talking animatedly to one another.

"--see that--?!"

"Really a damn shock--"

"--don't know what happened, but the Corporal--"

"--the shit beaten out of him, really brutal--!"

"--Commander's really injured, the Corporal could've killed him--"

"--never thought the Corporal could do that, you know."

"--something about claiming someone else--"

Eren's blood turned into ice.

* * *

_I have to see him._

Before he knew it, Eren was darting forward, knees bent and feet pounding on stone floors as his breaths hitched and his pulse raced. Dimly he could hear his name being shouted, but it was an irritating buzzing at the back of his mind compared to the sudden visceral feeling of sheer  _panic_  curling up in his chest. He shouldn't be here, talking to his family. He needed to be with him, know that he was all right, 

"Eren! Where are you going?!" His wrist was caught and he twisted back, heart pounding against his throat as he stared at Mikasa, the only person who was able to catch up with him after a moment of frozen surprise. 

All at once, everything else seemed to slam back into his awareness.

"Mikasa! Let go!" His voice was high, he realized. Hysteric. "I have to--! I can't be here!"

"Calm down, Eren!" Armin soon caught up after, panting and out of breath, but he was holding Eren's face with his hands, forcing Eren's jack-rabbiting heart to relax, despite himself. Eren silently cursed him for it. Damned Alpha influence. "What's going on?"

"You don't understand!" Why did he sound so desperate? Why was he pleading? He was tugging away, both from Mikasa's grip and Armin's grounding touch, as if it was a matter of life and death. "I have to go! I can't stay! Please let me go!"

"Go where?" Mikasa demanded, her hold on his wrist tightening just a fraction. "Eren, you shouldn't even be running in the corridors! You're exhausted."

"Tell me what's wrong. Where do you need to go?" Armin asked firmly, his own pheromones keeping Eren in place. He wasn't going anywhere, Eren realized, in between his sister's crazy physical strength and his best friend exerting his Alpha influence on him. A smaller, more rational part of his mind understood their actions; he  _was_  acting strangely and he needed to be stopped, but a larger, more instinctive part of him merely saw them as obstacles to his goal.

_I have to be with him._  

"I have to be with the Co--" A sudden snap in his mind, and Eren stopped, slapping a hand over his mouth as he managed to stop himself in time. His eyes widened as he stared at them. Who? Who was he going to say? 

Who  _did_  he need to go to? Was it the Corporal? Or the Commander?

He didn't know.

The side of his neck throbbed.

"Eren." Armin said gently, as if trying to soothe an skittish animal. "Deep breaths. Come on. In. Out. Listen to me."

Eren obeyed, filling his lungs with air and exhaling in a huff as he struggled to control the still deep-seated impulse to go somewhere else. He was trembling, he noticed, body struggling between Armin's considerable influence and his own haywiring instincts. It wasn't often that Armin had to hold his class over Eren's head, but as hot-headed as Eren was most of the time, Armin has to resort to mildly controlling Eren's Omega instincts just to make sure Eren didn't hurt himself. Both of them didn't like it, especially on Eren's part, but both of them understood its necessity.

Until now, Armin was the only one Eren allowed to exert any Alpha influence on him. Anyone else would get a punch to the face. 

In the end, Armin's proximity won, and Eren sagged, burying his face in Mikasa's scarf as he inhaled shaky breaths, simply being held up as Mikasa wrapped her arms around his back, Armin's hands rubbing at his back soothingly. 

"I don't know what's happening to me anymore." He whispered, voice muffled against Mikasa's shoulder. He didn't cry. He was so tired he couldn't even summon the energy to. "Everything's so messed up and I don't know why..."

"Eren, until we know what's going on, you should stay close to Armin." Mikasa nodded to the blond, her fingers running through the brown locks, her own calming aura washing over the three of them. While Armin had the most control over Eren's instincts, ultimately Mikasa had the ability to exert her own influence on them as a Beta. In times that both Eren and Armin were compromised, it was she who held them both together. "He'll take care of you."

"Of course. Let us shoulder the burden together. You're not alone, Eren." Armin offered a smile when Eren turned his head to look at him. "We won't let you down."

Eren gave them a watery smile. 

"...Thanks, guys." 

* * *

The expedition had to be pushed back a few weeks because the Commander and the Corporal were both temporarily out-of-commission. Whispers of the incident spread like wildfire, various theories and gossip tossed around the Legionnaires about the brawl and what caused it. First-hand witnesses were grilled and put through the third degree by curious bystanders who wanted to know the gritty, violent details. 

Someone from the former 104th was one of them. 

"No way Jean, that's impossible," Connie leaned back on his chair, after Jean related the incident to everyone during dinner. Sasha looked mildly interested as well, but was too focused on licking the last dregs of her soup bowl to really care. "The Commander and Corporal's actually fighting over someone? It's like a badly written romance book."

"It is!" Jean insisted. "You weren't there! You didn't see the Corporal going apeshit, it's scary. I thought he was kill the Commander. I definitely heard Corporal Levi scream something about Commander claiming someone."

"But is the Commander all right?" Krista asked worriedly. "There's still no news of his condition."

"He'll be fine." Reiner shrugged. "Even if it's the Corporal, the Commander's not gonna die because he got punched in the face." 

"What about I punch you in the face multiple times Reiner, and see if you won't be feeling like you're dying later on." Ymir said idly, her hand on Krista's head. "But Corporal Shorty definitely has balls, going after the Commander like that. I don't blame him. If someone claimed Krista, I'd be pissed off too."

Krista blushed. "Ymir!" 

"It's between the Commander and the Corporal. We shouldn't talk about this." Bertholdt said, fidgeting slightly in his seat. "But, you know... I didn't really expect that the Corporal could get that angry towards someone."

"Trust me, he was." Jean sighed heavily. "His own squad had to pull him back from kicking the Commander's face in. His face was so bloody you can't recognize him anymore." He shuddered. 

"So what's going to happen to us now?" Connie glanced at his squadmates.

"Probably remain on stand-by. We can't exactly go out when our own Commander can't lead us out." Reiner said, glancing to the doors just in time to see Mikasa and Armin enter the dining hall. "They're back."

"Oh, hey. Did you find Eren?" Jean asked as Armin took the empty seat beside him. "Where's the suicidal bastard?"

"He's sleeping right now. Secret titan training." Mikasa's expression was so deadpan they couldn't tell if she was saying the truth or not. She was a bad liar, everyone knew, but she said the truth with an equally straight face as well.

"We just fetched him this morning. It's overnight. Commander's orders. He's so exhausted we needed to keep an eye on him." Armin added, and everyone seemed to accept the explanation. Only the two of them knew how much Eren tossed and turned in his bed, sleeping uneasily and muttering under his breath. He would scream, once or twice, being startled awake and being coaxed back to the sheets with their help. It was only when Armin brewed a cup of tea with sleeping drought that they could think of leaving Eren alone in the basement. "What are you talking about?"

"That's right! Jean, tell them again what happened. You wouldn't believe it." Connie urged, and Jean sighed, turning to the latecomers and telling them, again, an abridged version of the events. Mikasa and Armin listened intently, the big picture gradually clearing up for them bit by bit.

"Good for the shorty Corporal." Mikasa murmured after a moment of thoughtful silence, making Jean, Connie and Reiner choke on their respective foods and drinks.

"...What?"

"...managed to protect... it's only right..."

"Mikasa... are you... are you  _siding with the Corporal_?" It wasn't exactly a secret that the girl held some animosity for the older superior, they didn't know exactly why, but it had something to do with Eren. Everything she thought about always concerned Eren in one way or another. 

"Mikasa." Armin admonished, chewing on his bottom lip as he continued to think. Armin seemed to be more absorbed in his thoughts than his food so they left him to it, turning their conversation to lighter matters.

But the uneasiness still lingered, while a couple of floors below, Eren twisted and tossed around in bed, sweat beading his brow as he murmured a name in the darkness.

"Erwin..."


	10. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Motivations are uncovered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shitballs I didn't think I wrote 40k+ worth of words already. Oh wow. 
> 
> So this is the final part of the revision from the kink meme, the parts that would come afterwards will be updated there instead of the kink meme. 
> 
> This, ladies and gentlemen, is where shit goes down. Enjoy. And thank you for your comments and kudos! Really means a lot <3

"Fuck!"  
  
The swearword echoed in Hanji's laboratory, Levi gritting his teeth and looking away as Hanji poured the cleaning solution on his wrecked hand. The other was already wrapped in a cloth and pressed against his cheek, holding a bag of cold water on his face to reduce the swelling. It looked worse than it really was, Levi had certainly been worse for wear before, but it didn't erase the fact that the pain was an irritating motherfucker, like a bee hovering around and it  _wouldn't leave you the fuck alone_.  
  
"No Gear for the next week, at the least. You're lucky your knuckles didn't break." Hanji tsked at him, placing the bottle on the table and grabbing a clean cloth to dry his right hand gently. The rough material stung on his open wound, but it was better than getting an infection. "You were punching pretty hard." They looked up at him, glasses glinting in the candlelight, looking through him with a precision that was unnerving. A lot of people underestimated Hanji, their fanatical, obsessive love for Titans eccentric and dismissed as plain insanity due to being in the Legion, but Levi knew better. Hanji was faster than a whipcord, sharp and analytic and able to tear you down to the basic sense of you through careful observation and sheer persistence. Not as sharp as Erwin, no one was, but Hanji had more heart than Erwin ever could.   
  
"No fucking shit." Levi's answer was clipped, eyes focused on one spot on the wall while the bag on his cheek cooled his throbbing cheek. He didn't want to talk about it, his body language was all but screaming out loud. Damn it. He didn't want to think about anything now. Especially not the blond. Not after everything.  
  
Hanji sighed, pausing in their wrapping, placing their hands on their lap. Their expression was deadly serious.  
  
"Levi, what were you thinking?"  
  
His jaw tightened, hand twitching in Hanji's hold. He wasn't thinking at all. All he knew, all he  _felt_ , was rage. Pain. For once, Levi could finally understand how it was to be completely consumed by emotion, swept away and rendering all logical thinking inconsequential. It was a jarring experience. All his life, he had to live by thinking with his mind, knowing that any compromise with his heart would lead to his own death. Even with his Squad, Levi didn't allow himself to get too close to them, despite the camaraderie they shared.  
  
And then Eren came along and any walls Levi had crumbled instantly.  
  
 _Eren._  
  
"I don't need a fucking lecture."  
  
"I know you don't do things without reason, but you could've killed him!" Hanji retorted.  
  
"I should've been faster, then. You know my story Hanji, I've always wanted to kill him." Levi shot back, finally looking at them in the eye. "It's been delayed by a couple of years, but it's always been one of my goals."  
  
 _It was now._  
  
Hanji was one of the few people who knew the entire story of his life, Levi giving in and telling it to them one day because being pestered about it every single damned day grated on his nerves. Levi was different; he was raised in the slums, taught how to kill men bigger and faster than he was so he would live another day. He didn't think later on that he would use those skills to kill Titans, but the use of Gear was a rush Levi never expected. It was flying, it was freedom.  
  
Even if just for the briefest moment, Levi can pretend he was finally free.   
  
"Levi, saying those things out loud can land you in court." Hanji's eyes narrowed at him in turn. "We can't afford to lose you now. Even if we settled the fight publicly that's only inside the Legion. Erwin can still escalate this to Zackley!"  
  
"He wouldn't." It was said with certainty. Not if he wanted Levi to dish out the dirt in return. "This is between us, and he knows it."  
  
"Then  _what happened?_ "  
  
At that, Levi slid his eyes away, pressing the less cold pack harder to ignore the way amber eyes scrutinized him. A long period of silence, a silent battle of wills that Levi won. Hanji eventually resumed treating his hand, wrapping the bandage again and again until his knuckles were covered in layers of white.   
  
"... This is about about Eren, isn't it."  
  
It wasn't a question.  
  
Levi couldn't stop himself from reacting, a subtle flinch, a temporary flash of anger in gunmetal blue irises, but Hanji picked it up as easily as if he verbally confirmed it for them. Damn shitty glasses and their fucking perceptiveness. He could never hide anything from Hanji.   
  
"Levi... what did he do to Eren?"  
  
Not even his real relationship with the brat.  
  
"...It's my fault." He covered his eyes with his hand, warm water bag plopping down on the desk, elbow resting on top of it.   
  
"I wasn't able to protect him."  
  
Levi wanted Eren to live his life. He was still too young, too, innocent despite the blood on his hands, too precious to be tied down to an old fart whose crimes, when listed, would be taller than his height twice over.   
  
In town, during the supply run, Levi was stopped by a kindly old woman, who held his hand and thanked him wholeheartedly for trying their best to make humanity free. Levi didn't know what to say, especially when she said she had children in the Legion and all of them died during the expeditions. But it was her words that struck him, aged eyes showing wisdom and sincerity in her words.  
  
 _Corporal, in our life, there is little cause of happiness. If you have it, cherish it, and never let it go. It's better to have experienced that genuine, soul-blinding happiness and lose it than never having that chance at all. My children gave me so much happiness, even in their deaths, because they came from me and I will never forget the moments I have with them. So if you have someone Corporal, let them know how special they are to you. And if you can, stay by their side for as long as you could. Other people are not so lucky, but you are._  
  
As they left, Levi found himself buying something personal, no bigger than a matchbox, tucked safely in his pockets as they rode back to the castle. He wanted to give it to Eren the moment he came back, to watch his eyes light up in happiness, to make that promise that he would always stay by Eren's side, till death do them part.  
  
His mark would be on Eren's neck right now.  
  
That box was still in his pocket, digging into his thigh, another reminder of what he just let slip through his fingers. Of what Erwin managed to take away from him.  
  
"I let someone take what was important to me."  
  
Hanji didn't say anything in reply, just finished tying up the bandages and Levi flexed his fingers, feeling the skin stretch a little but everything was where it should be. Teeth quietly bared in a snarl as his thoughts went dark, on missing the opportunity that was given to him.   
  
Death broke a claiming mark between a pair.  
  
"...You know you have to talk to him eventually."  
  
"I'm not going to say a word to the blond bastard."  
  
"Not with him. Look, I'm not going to pry," Hanji started, and Levi, despite himself, looked up and raised an eyebrow at them. "I'm not!" They insisted, "but Levi, this is something you need to set straight with Eren."  
  
It's too soon. Everything was too raw, too quick, and Levi was still barely picking up the pieces.  
  
"I can't face him now, Hanji." It was another admission of weakness, as the questions and insecurities welled up inside him. If he faced Eren now, he didn't know what he would think, what he would say.  
  
He'd end up hurting Eren more.  
  
"I'm not saying right now. Levi." Hanji's voice softened.  
  
"Hearts get hurt too. And they take a long time to heal. So let it heal a little. You're allowed to."  
  
Their words made the back of Levi's eyes sting, and he blinked rapidly, turning to the table and covering his eyes again. His shoulders were shaking. He couldn't stop them.  
  
"Not a word about this to anyone." His threat would've sounded better if his voice didn't quiver in the middle.  
  
"Yes, yes." With a small smile, Hanji, cleaned up the mess, taking the medical box with them as they stood up. "I'm going to put this away." Levi didn't answer, could only hear the pound of his heart, the shaking of his breath as something hot and wet slid down his cheeks against his will.  
  
Fuck. He pressed his fingers against his closed eyelids, damp eyelashes fluttering as his brows furrowed. Fuck it all.  
  
Unbeknownst to him, as they left the room, Hanji took one last look behind them, and saw Levi hunched over the table, completely quiet save the almost unnoticeable harsh intakes of breath, his shoulders shuddering as his chest heaved. A look of pity crossed Hanji's face, chest aching for their friend's predicament. As they closed the room behind them, Hanji resolved to visit Erwin next, to get his side of the story as well.  
  
Levi needed some time alone.

* * *

The two weeks that followed were uneventful. Eren never woke up well-rested anymore, stumbling along his day half-awake and distracted, the mark on his neck throbbing enough for him to actually take notice and be irritated by it. For the in-numerous time Eren rubbed at his neck on where the mark was, trying to get it to stop itching. The fact it was covered made it worse, but Eren would rather bear with it than get stared at and asked about the mark later on.  
  
The Corporal was avoiding him. Of course he was, if it was him Eren would avoid himself too. It was a shock when he saw the Corporal first hand, hands bandaged and his face sporting a shiner. The moment he saw Eren his eyes moved away from him smoothly, as if he was a part of the castle decoration and Eren couldn't help the pang of hurt he felt because of it, to the point of Jean irritably telling him to stop looking like a kicked puppy all the time.  
  
He eventually got the story from the rest, face paling the more he heard, and nausea turned his stomach. It was his fault. They fought and it was all his fault. The Commander was still recovering, on bed rest and still not able to show himself in the public, while the Corporal thundered around the corridors and Maria save the Legionnaire who earned his wrath, which was triggered with something as simple as managing to make eye contact with him.  
  
He couldn't face the Corporal. He was too ashamed and embarrassed, and any attempt he made was rebuffed smoothly and easily. The Corporal never approached their group anymore, any orders he had were passed via his Squad, and Eren was in their company more often than not. Any conversation between them was strictly business, their sudden distance blatant when the Corporal now addressed him as "Jaeger" instead of "brat". Levi wouldn't meet his eyes, staring at his lower face as he delivered his words quickly, and turning around before Eren could even respond.  
  
The first time Eren heard it he wanted to break down and kneel in front of the Corporal, beg him to take him back. He would take being "brat" over "Jaeger" anytime.  
  
Petra tried to comfort him, saying that the Corporal was just going through a very hard time now, but she didn't know that  _Eren_  was the cause of the Corporal's pain. Auruo had already cornered him, demanding that he fix what he did, and if they knew, Eren doubted if he would still be breathing. If not for the fact that Eren was now swallowing his suppressants daily, all of them would figure out what was going on.  
  
He smelled like the Commander now. The first time he noticed it he was in the washing chambers faster than anyone could blink, trying to scrub it away, but even with his toiletries the scent still lingered faintly. Armin caught him sobbing hysterically, curled up in the tiled corner of the stall, arms bleeding out and his things scattered around the small bathing space. The smaller blond justbarely managed to get Eren out, Eren all but catatonic in his panic, and suppressants were the only things they knew that could mask a person's scent entirely.  
  
All in all, it wasn't a good week for him at all.   
  
Eren was in the third floor corridor, sweeping the dust away with a broom, when it finally happened.  
  
He was exhausted. The lack of sleep and peace of mind was taking their toll on him, and lunch was barely satisfactory. He ate more now, probably to make up for the sleep he wasn't getting properly, but it was enough to be noticed by the others, especially when he was matching Sasha's pace when they were eating their meals. But once again, he couldn't say anything to them at all.  
  
He rubbed at his eyes tiredly, placing the broom beside the open window as he yawned. He was getting dark circles in his eyes and his head felt heavy. Leaning against the window sill, Eren stared out at the greenery beyond the castle walls. So peaceful. Flocks of birds were soaring through the bright blue sky, not a cloud in sight and the sun shining warmly on his face.   
  
Before he knew it, he felt like his world was suddenly tilted upside down. The change in orientation made his stomach lurch, the sour taste of acid filled his mouth as chunks of his earlier lunch suddenly decorated the castle walls, gut pulling at the inner linings of his stomach as Eren emptied all the contents inside. His knees were so weak, dizziness causing him to pitch forward and possibly topple off the window if not for his stronger grip on the sill.   
  
He's been feeling dizzy lately, ever since that bath inside the Commander's chambers. Most of the time it just passes, but this is the first time it was bad enough that he puked. Wiping as his mouth, the sour taste remained and he wanted to stop, keep it in, but the bile was relentless, body still heaving as he tried to catch his breath.   
  
Eren had always passed it off as a side-effect of his tiredness, but a small, nagging part in his mind was thinking of something else, something worse.  
  
A neighbor back in Shinganshina always threw up in the morning before she found out she was carrying a baby.  
  
"It can't be..." Eren whispered to himself as comprehension slowly dawned on him. Subconsciously, his hand wandered to his abdomen, pressing lightly on it as he thought of only one thing.  
  
 _Am I...?_

* * *

Eren stared at the cracks on his cell bedroom, the horrifying epiphany having yet to fully sink in. Hours passed but he didn't notice, legs seemingly having minds of their own as he wandered the halls. The light on the torches gradually lowered to smoldering embers but Eren stayed frozen, trying to stop his hands from trembling as his elbows rested lightly on his knees.

He gripped his hair in frustration. He couldn't remember! He couldn't remember if he took his contraceptives before it started, the unbearable heat sinking into his bones. Normally Omegas had a higher probability of carrying children than other classes; during their cycle an Omega's fertility was at its utmost peak, the chances of conception almost completely certain. Contraceptives were the only chance any Omega had if they didn't want to get pregnant, especially if they were helped through it by an Alpha. 

He missed dinner. He didn't think he  _could_  eat, when his mind was running wild with so many thoughts, his heart pounding with so many emotions. He couldn't be. It was impossible. It had to be impossible. Because he couldn't... he couldn't be at a time like this! He had a duty, a responsibility to Humanity to free them from Titans. For him to be... he couldn't even  _think_  of the word. Having a family? Having children? It had never entered his mind.

Could he give any of it up? To retire from the front lines, stay back and watch his friends go out the Walls, risking their lives while he nurtured the possible life growing inside him? Would he be able to settle down and raise a child, to wait for another and silently fearing that he wouldn't be able to come home to him? 

There was one way he could check for certain, but if he took off his suppressants his changed scent would hit anyone within a mile radius and all of the Legion would would be able to tell what happened to him. Because of the suppressants, he couldn't even scent himself, and the withdrawal afterwards wasn't going to be worth it. He couldn't risk it. Not even for this.

His hand drifted to rest on his stomach lightly. It was flat and hard, tempered with hard work and strict training. In a few months it would be rounded and soft, like a ripe peach, an innocent life steadily growing inside him, squirming and pushing at his insides--

A shudder shot down his spine as his other hand slapped a hand over his month, stopping the scream from clawing out of his throat. Tears filled his eyes, clutching at the front of his shirt as he bent over, trying to stop the nausea from overtaking his senses. Eren choked on a sob. 

He was completely, utterly lost. And he didn't know how to find his way back.

* * *

People tended to look over Armin Arlert, despite his Alpha status. His small, delicate features often had people mistaking him for an Omega, often blinking in surprise once they catch a whiff of his scent. 

But Armin was just as Alpha as any other, and an Alpha always protected his family, his pack, when something threatened any of its members' happiness. Despite being petite he often commanded a presence that made people trust in him once he got over his initial insecurities, even if he wasn't a natural leader. His quick thinking and influence got all of them through their harsh childhood in Trost; making sure they would sleep in a safe place and eat a little day by day. Mikasa and Eren trusted him wholeheartedly because of it. Even at a young age he proved to be a capable Alpha in their eyes, and because of that there was a subtle deference in Mikasa's and Eren's interactions towards him; he was the head, he was the Alpha of their family. 

And even in his uncertainty, Armin did his best to reciprocate the complete trust his two siblings placed on him; he would take care of them as they took care of him.

But he (and Mikasa as well) held a closer, more protective concern over Eren. It wasn't that Armin was belittling Eren's ability to take care of himself; it was Eren who usually saved Armin from being bullied because he was a weak-bodied Alpha. It was simple biology; in their family Eren was the Omega, more vulnerable and easily influenced by fluctuating pheromones. It was because he was an Alpha and he considered Eren as his family, a part of his pack; anyone who tried to hurt him Mikasa would hurt badly.

Armin would make sure they would never find the bodies again.

Right now, Eren was getting worse everyday. He was pale as a sheet, sluggish and tired, refusing to eat any meals and curling up in his bed in the basement. It was hurting Armin to see his brother in so much pain, and nothing Armin he said made Eren open up, just shaking his head and turning away, one hand on his mark and another on his stomach. And Armin wouldn't go as low as to use his influence on Eren's already fragile state; Eren would hate him and Armin wasn't sure on how Eren would react to his influence. This had gone on for too long, and Armin wanted this to be over.

Mikasa had approached him earlier, her concern matching his in intensity, if not more. At this rate, Eren would break, and both of them were determined not to let that happen.

They would save Eren, even from himself.

Which was why Armin was in front of a familiar wooden door, knocking sharply to get the attention of the other person inside. Mikasa had her own job and they split off, with affirming nod in each other's direction.

To help Eren, they had to get to the source of the conflict. And it just wasn't one person.

"Enter." The voice answered on the other end, and Armin didn't hesitate, opening the door and coming face-to-face with Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Scouting Legion.

"Arlert." The blond Commander inclined his head, gesturing for him to enter, and Armin did, closing the door behind the study and giving the man a salute.

"Sir."

* * *

"Ackerman." Gunmetal blue irises looked up to see Mikasa Ackerman in front of his table, the door unceremoniously slammed open as she strode into his office. A unique beauty of Asian descent, her skills on the battlefield also merited a second glance, first in her training group and the cadet they said was worth a hundred soldiers.

Levi was worth an army, but the thought of a protege wasn't a bad idea. She was a talented soldier with untapped potential, but Levi was just relieved that someone could take his place if ever he was offed by a Titan, which was unlikely but he wasn't putting all his eggs in one basket. Humanity wouldn't be _entirely_  hopeless if he wasn't around. 

He knew she had a grudge towards him because of the trial, but he wasn't going to apologize for that, not to her, at least. But she was a good sister to Eren and she took care of his dumb ass, and Levi couldn't help but relieved that there was someone Eren could depend on if he wasn't around.

Eren. his heart clenched. Fuck.

"What do you want?" He asked roughly, putting down the paper and directly looking at her. Levi wasn't in the mood. He could barely think straight, and work was the only thing made sense right now, so he threw himself into it completely. Anything to stop his mind from lingering in more painful things. 

"Permission to speak firmly." Levi studied her dark eyes, the way she stood and saluted, staring at him with such grim determination Levi had a sinking feeling that this wasn't a business-chat. This concerned her wayward brother. She didn't look at him with the subtle deference of a cadet to a commanding officer, no, this was her meeting him as an equal. As a Beta. "It's about Eren." 

He hated it when he was right, but fuck it, Levi already lost everything. Nothing she could say to him would make him feel worse than he already was. 

"Say what you want to say and get on with it." 

* * *

The Alphas stared each other down, Armin's own instincts murmuring caution; he was an Alpha in another's clear territory. The man looked better now, face still bandaged up, but most of the swelling and discoloration were already gone. The presence of the Commander filled the room, but Armin stood his ground, jaw set, feet apart, fisted hand clenching. 

"I apologize if I don't look my best now." The man's rueful tone startled Armin out of his thoughts, and the Commander offered a small smile on his desk. "Having your face beat up isn't the best image for the Legion. What can I help you with, Arlert?"

"Permission to speak freely." He may be saluting but right now he wasn't a Cadet. He was Eren's Alpha, his brother, meeting the other man head-on.

He saw the instant it clicked in the other man's mind. Similar blue eyes narrowed slightly, the Commander slowly standing up while retaining eye contact with him. Armin knew he should feel intimidated, the Commander taller and more imposing, not to mention that he was intruding on his territory, but Armin met the stare without flinching. Two Alphas, sizing each other up, and Armin could feel his body tensing, adrenaline pooling in his blood as the familiar tug of fight-flight warred in his mind.

But the Commander slowly tilted his head up, baring his neck. Acceptance. Respect. Recognizing Armin as another Alpha and treating him as such. "Yes, Arlert?"

"I want to know, Commander," the title was spoken but it was spoken as if to an equal. "What your intentions are towards Eren."

* * *

"Please take him back."

Levi had expected a lot of things, actually, with this conversation that had been put off long enough, but certainly not that. But his face remained neutral, as he waited for the 

"I still don't trust you." She continued, letting her hands fall and going on parade rest, but her gaze was strong. Unwavering. "But you make Eren happy. Eren has made a mistake and I recognize that. But please forgive him and take him back."

Levi knew at that moment that she knew as well. Everything. Between him and Eren and Erwin. "Do you know what you're asking of me?" He leaned back on his chair, fingers linked and elbows resting on the table as he peered at her.

"I do." No hesitation. Levi would be impressed if he also didn't think that it was so stupid. "And you think it's that easy?" 

"... No." She admitted. "But Eren... he loves you."

Another cut through his chest. 

"And I've never seen him act around anyone else like he does with you." Her voice softened. "I may not like you, but you make him happy. And... I'd rather have you with him than someone else."

* * *

Eren swallowed thickly as he stared at the door, heart feeling as if it was going to escape through his chest. He couldn't take the insecurity anymore. He had to know what he could do. With a deep breath, he opened the door and called out.

"Hanji... I..." 

His hand drifted to his stomach. 

"I need your help."

"Excuse the mess! I'll be out in a minute, make yourself comfortable, whoever you are!" Hanji's voice called back cheerfully, and Eren took that as a cue to come in, closing the door behind him. 

His head felt heavy. His limbs were heavier so, and Eren all but collapsed on the nearest chair, looking around. He had been inside Hanji's laboratory several times but he could never quite get used to it, the room itself constantly changing whenever he visited it. Various papers, setups, and chemicals were laying around, doing various experiments Eren, knowing better now, wisely didn't ask about. The Squad Leader was up and about, most probably finishing another experiment, and the lull in momentum made him think.

What was he thinking, coming to Hanji for this? The other person was eccentric, manic at most, but Hanji was the leading expert when it came to Titans. Eren was a special case, and with his... condition, even if uncertain, in the worst case scenario, they would know what to do. And Hanji genuinely cared, more than the healers they had at the castle, who were more likely to chain Eren up and hand him over to the Military Police the moment they were sure of what was happening. Eren wouldn't assume that Hanji would protect him and... his possible child if it came down to it, but at least they would try to find another way out.

But if he told them, he had to tell what happened between him, the Corporal, and the Commander. Everything. Could he trust Hanji with that knowledge? What would they think of him then? 

But he had no choice. He couldn't do this along. For his... Eren's hand wandered to his abdomen.

For their sake.

The pressure inside his head increased. Eren dug the tips of his fingers against his temples, gritting his teeth against the weight that was threatening to crush his skull. His stomach clenched, and Eren clamped his hand against his mouth, stopping the reflex as acid filled his already earlier-emptied stomach. Not again, Eren silently pleaded to himself as nausea swept through him, dizziness making his head spin. Shit, he thought as dark spots appeared on his vision, screaming when the claiming mark flared white-hot, scorching against his skin. It hurt. It tingled. Eren choked, quickly overtaken by contradicting sensations whose only similarity was their overwhelming intensity. 

Pain. Pleasure. Ice. Fire. Both as one and separate, two sides of the same coin.

Just like the Commander and the Corporal.

_Please, not again..._

The world he knew blurred and disappeared, the last thing in his memory a familiar name, screamed out as footsteps hurriedly ran towards him. 

"EREN!!!"

* * *

Levi continued to stare at the girl, shaken to the core with her revelation, but his face was as impassive as always. For someone like Mikasa Ackerman, who treasured Eren so dearly, it was like pulling teeth with rusted pliers, to entrust them to someone you didn't trust at all. In a roundabout way, the girl had just given her blessing to him, which shouldn't matter to him as much as it should. Eren loved his sister so much, and never made it a secret that one of his dear wishes was to see them get along more.

Her blessing was just in time to be too late. 

He thought, observed. Wondered if she could see how alike they were, the same quiet, frigid intensity that came from getting your heart broken more than once, the raw physical talent that came as naturally as breathing air. Even their eyes were the same; gunmetal dark and piercing, the color of the sky before a terrible storm. Levi's more heavy-lidded and tinged with blue, but their eyes had the ability to tear anyone apart to the very basic sense of them with a simple look, but at the same time, able to convey warmth and gentleness if it's directed to the right person. 

He wondered if she knew just how similar they really were, and not just in personality. He saw parts of himself in her, a kindred in more than just spirit.

Ackerman. That cursed last name carried more weight than she originally realized.

Before he could open his mouth to answer the door was unceremoniously slammed open, making him jump, hands instantly going to the dagger sheathed inside his boot and flipping it in his hands, blade out and ready to strike.

Old habits died hard. 

"Levi!" 

Levi was already half out of his seat, Mikasa whirling around as well to see Hanji leaning against the doorframe, panting and hair in complete disarray, glasses glinting and concealing their expression. "What the hell, Hanji?!" Levi barked, quickly stowing away the blade before either person saw. 

"Levi, it's Eren! He's--!" He had never seen Hanji this rattled before, and it instantly put him on edge. Eren? Levi was standing up before he knew it, walking around his desk to follow after them. What was wrong with Eren? 

"Eren?" Mikasa interjected quickly, her own voice frantic and concerned, unknowingly voicing out Levi's thoughts. Too damn similar, Levi grumbled, "What's wrong with him, Squad Leader?" 

"I can't explain here, you have to see it for yourself. We have to hurry." Hanji snapped, and there's no other way than to follow her. Levi and Mikasa hurried after them, boots clicking in haste as they went down to Hanji's laboratory. 

And despite what he was feeling right now, despite the complicated situation, a chord of fear and worry struck his heart. It only meant one thing. Eren was in danger. Levi's eyes narrowed and his fingers clenched tightly. 

_You're going to be the death of me, Eren._

* * *

Complete, utter silence.

Armin's eyes never blinked, continuing to give the Commander an unwavering stare even as his heart jackhammered against his ribs. To be honest, Armin never expected an answer at all, already half-certain that he was going to be called out for insubordination and punished for the deceptively simple question. But it was clear that the older man was taken off-guard by the question; with the way he blinked and his calm composure slipped, just enough for Armin to catch the surprise in deep blue eyes.

Then the Commander sighed with ruefulness. "You don't hold anything back, do you, Arlert?"

Now it was Armin's turn to blink in surprise. What?

"Yes, I should've expected it, after all. Eren is your closest friend, even a brother to you. Of course you would come here and ask, as his Alpha." The Commander continued, a tinge of amusement coloring his features. Armin would've been offended if the Commander didn't raise his hands in a gesture of peace. "So I won't insult you by treating you as my subordinate."

Erwin Smith stood up, walked around his desk to stand in front of Armin and stood straighter, taller, with all the influence of an Alpha behind him and despite Armin's own stance, he visibly wavered.

"Armin Arlert, I harbor romantic feelings for your brother. I am interested in him, not because he's an Omega, but because he brought me hope. I want him as my partner. I want him as my mate." 

Straight, direct, to the point. The Commander didn't pull his punches, and Armin might've choked on air, gasped a breath, because  _that_  was the answer he last expected. To go that far... was the Commander lying? No, he wouldn't be lying about something like this... but why tell it to Armin? Why didn't he try to deny it?

Why tell the serious truth?

Armin wouldn't back down. Not now. "Then you know that he's in a relationship with Corporal Levi." He said in a steady voice, fist clenching where they stayed in parade rest. "And you're interfering."

"Interfering is such a strong word. But yes." Head tilted to the side, the Commander regarded him with an interest and deference the smaller blond didn't expect. "Corporal Levi can't take care of your brother. And you know that as well, don't you?" 

"It's Eren's decision to choose who he wants to be with. He's in love with the Corporal. You don't have any right." Armin answered shortly, although both of them perfectly knew that was the truth. "And you..." His jaw tightened. 

"But I do. You're a smart boy, Armin Arlert. So you know this as well." The Commander uncrossed his arms, and said simply, as if he wasn't going to reveal a mind-shattering revelation.

"You know that Eren is in love with me too."

The declaration, said out loud, still shocked Armin despite realizing it for quite some time now. Hearing his suspicions out loud, said by the man who was more intelligent and perspective than he was, was more jarring than he originally thought. But whatever answer Armin has was left unsaid as sudden sharp knocks rattled the door.

Both of them stared at it, slightly startled, as they were brought back to reality. At once, the older man's demeanor completely changed, the mask instantly appearing on his face and voice. "Enter!"

It was Moblit, Hanji's squadmate and right-hand man, but more often than not their beleaguered assistant. Armin didn't know the older man very well but he was recognizable enough for Armin to salute in greeting, his earlier conversation immediately taking a backseat when he recognized the seriousness and urgency of Moblit's tone. What was going on? 

"Hanji asked me to come quickly. It's about Eren Jaeger." The man was panting, hands on his knees as he tried to catch a breath. "Please come quickly. Hanji said it's serious. Follow me."


	11. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is a particularly vicious motivator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're back, bitches!! I'm so fucking sorry it took 4 months to crank out this chapter, but a lot of things happened in real life and I had to straighten that shit out first. I was supposed to post this on Eren's birthday but we had to go to an amusement park that day, so. Belated Happy Birthday my little Jaeger-babbu!
> 
> So, this is the first time I'm writing in Erwin's POV. Some of his motivations are going to be uncovered, and some world-building information, as well as some gut-wrenching angst once you realize why Erwin is doing the things he was doing. It always amuses me to look at the comments, because a lot of people hate Erwin and all that jazz, but I hope you still stick around and watch everything fall apart. Because it will. 
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and support of this fic! You have no idea what that means to me and it inspires me to write more! This time I promise not to make the updates so long, but enough talk, let's get on with the chapter! 
> 
> It's a short chapter, I apologize, but the next one's going to be heartbreaking. I promise to Zeus. *circles crotch*

He could barely hear the gasp of his breaths, going in and out of his lungs, the pound of his boots as it met the cold, stone floor. Blood rushed through his ears, fingers trembling as they clenched into a fist. Beside him the cadet looked panicked, trying so hard to keep his expression calm despite the terror and worry in his eyes. Sometimes he envied them, the younger soldiers, in their ability to express their emotions more freely, to show their fears and uncertainties, unlike him. Everything he showed on his face was a liability, a weakness, a way to get back at him and his enemies were numerous.

It was a privilege Erwin lost the moment he decided to lead the Scouting Legion. If only his enemies were just the Titans. Everything would be simpler if that was the case.

Every decision he made resulted in blood-stained hands. He sacrificed as much as, if not more than, anyone else in their struggle for Humanity's Freedom. He unknowingly gave up his father, a brilliant, brave man and Erwin, stupid child that he was, informed the Military Police of his theories, causing his death. He gave up a normal, if not ignorant, life living inside the Walls, comfortable and yet just waiting for inevitable death now that the Titans could breach the Walls. He gave up Marie, the only woman he loved, to a friend, knowing that he could never completely devote himself to his cause if he had someone waiting for him at home. In his situation, a family would serve more as a burden than as inspiration, a source of heartbreak and bitterness. 

As an Alpha he had a natural instinct for leading. He let soldiers under his command walk to their deaths, again and again and again until he was all but drowning in their blood for the sake of their future. Those soldiers had families, parents and siblings and lovers waiting for them, but they made their choice. Erwin did not coerce them into joining the Legion (Levi was a very special case), and they knew their duty. Erwin wasn't lying when he told new recruits to give their hearts out for Humanity; being in the Scouting Legion meant there was no halfway. Hearing his men's screams and cries as they were shredded to pieces by Titans was something he forced himself to listen to without any expression, to make sure any sacrifice was not in vain. There was no time for tears, for grief, for regret. It was something he owed to them, for being their judge, jury, and executioner. 

To give everything... or to gain nothing. 

So he hardened his heart. Ten soldiers for a hundred people, a hundred soldiers for thousands. No matter how difficult it was, no matter how many times he would wake up sweating and haunted by the accusing glares and anguished cries of the men he killed, he forced himself to get up and survive, day-by-day, even if he knew, in the deepest parts of his heart, that in the end, it might be futile.

Everything had a purpose. For the victory of Humanity. 

Until Eren Jaeger.

* * *

The young Omega of fifteen was Hope. Hope in the form of an angry, traumatized, passionate teenager, the break in the cycle Erwin had been waiting for for so long. The moment he heard of what happened at Trost, Erwin could hardly believe it. For the longest time, they had a chance, an opportunity to take back what they lost.

For the first time in the longest while, they could actually  _fight back_. 

The first time he met Eren Jaeger in the cell, his breath was taken away.

Eren Jaeger was beautiful. Despite being chained and kept under lock and key his blue-green eyes brimmed with a fire that burned brighter than any flame Erwin saw in his life. It was captivating, it was maddening, the way this young man managed to capture his interest within a few seconds, and not just because he could turn into a Titan. When he fell in love with Marie it was because she was gentle, kind, and supportive, the perfect Omega. They complimented each other, the strength to the other's weakness, the perfect, mated pair that was said to only exist in stories of old. 

Eren was a contradiction. He was brash and impulsive, shy and uncertain, reckless and brave. He was everything an Omega was not, and Erwin was a logical man, perhaps too much at times. There was nothing about Eren Jaeger that should attract him like this, like a man starved to death suddenly appearing in a banquet, but the heart was something that thwarted any type of logic he applied to it. Eren forced his way into his very mind, into his very core, in a way that not even Marie managed to do. 

Then Erwin glanced at Levi, and saw the exact same realization, the same epiphany in his eyes. Had Eren not been an Omega, Erwin knew instantly that he might not had a chance. But he knew how fickle their biology was, that emotion could only take you so far. That in the end, only what your body wanted was what mattered. 

So he let himself want.

He wanted Eren Jaeger. 

"Eren!" 

They finally arrived, entering Hanji's laboratory without ceremony, only to see that they have arrived last. Mikasa Ackerman was already at her brother's bedside, grasping his hand and leaning over him protectively, looking up and seeing the relief in her eyes when the smaller blond came into view. Erwin stepped aside to let Arlert through first, knowing his Alpha instincts must be going haywire at this point, only concerned about the Omega in his pack. But as he walked deeper into the room and saw the sight in front of him, his breath stopped.

Eren looked to be at Death's door. Pale and shivering, thrashing weakly in his sleep, he looked nothing like the young man he shared his bed with weeks before. Erwin's heart clenched, shards of ice cutting it open and making it bleed. He wanted to touch, to reach out, to comfort, to take Eren into his arms and tear apart anyone who would hurt him this way. His feet were moving before he knew it, hand reaching out to caress the short, brown locks, only to be stopped and pinned down by the furious, storm-grey eyes of Levi.   

The confrontation that happened was not for the faint of heart.

A snarl ripped from Levi's throat, the other man already standing up and ready to attack him again. Erwin narrowed his eyes, bristling at his presence, a growl rumbling in his chest. The urge to fight suddenly swelled, to defend, to protect what was his. Levi was an intruder, a rival, infringing into his territory and he must be taken care of at any cost. it would shame Erwin later, to find himself taken over by instinct so quickly, but at that moment, it didn't matter.

A Beta was hovering over his Omega. He had to be eliminated. 

The sudden slam of hands on wood and the scent of a familiar Beta took him out of his Alpha-induced haze. 

"Stop with the posturing, you two." Hanji was looming over them, for once completely serious, their expression narrow as they glared at the both of them. "I don't care if you two want to kick each other's ass again, take it outside. But I called you here for a reason, and if you can't get your damned instincts under control I'm throwing you out. Eren needs you right now, and if you two can't control yourself, then you shouldn't be here at all." 

Silence. Erwin hung his head, properly chastised, berating himself for losing control. But when it came to Eren Jaeger, he seemed to lose his cool instantly, and the worst part of it was Erwin didn't mind. 

It frustrated him, to know that someone completely controlled him, without them even knowing it consciously. 

"Apologies, Hanji." Erwin offered quietly, while Levi sat back down, face contrite but silent. The tension lessened, but still palpable. Erwin stayed his hand, staying on the other side of Eren's bed,    

"What's wrong with him, Squad Leader?" Armin asked Hanji, face set despite the fear and worry in his eyes. "Does it concern anything about him being a Titan?" 

"I saw him on the floor earlier, screaming and twitching. I had to stab him with a tranquilizer to calm him down. Right now he's stable, but only just." Hanji rubbed their temples, sitting by Eren's head at the top of the bed. "It's not because he's a Titan." Their hand moved forward and tugged at the bandages that wrapped themselves around Eren's neck, unraveling it and letting everyone see something they all already saw. 

"Eren has a claiming mark on his neck."

Erwin said nothing to that. If anything, he didn't regret placing that mark, pleased that it even appeared. It was during the throes of Eren's heat, and he knew what he was doing, the only one of sounder mind at that time. It was the only advantage he had over Levi, being an Alpha. Did Levi not know how fortunate he was, to have Eren's heart? To be loved so deeply and truly that he could resist Erwin, despite both of them knowing that Erwin was perfect for him, the Alpha to his Omega? 

Erwin saw Levi's hand clench tightly but didn't say a word. Levi might've had Eren's heart, but Erwin knew he possessed Eren's body, no matter how hard Eren tried to deny it. Didn't he think Erwin knew the way his pulse would race, his face would heat, his pupils would dilate every time he was in Eren's presence? That the moment their hands touched Erwin knew that their bodies would fit perfectly together? 

It was simply a matter of opportunity, to make Eren's body waver and surrender to him. It was a selfish, cowardly act, but Erwin wasn't lying when he said he would make Eren's heart follow. He knew he had to act quickly, and the fact that his theories were proven right was merely a step in the right direction. 

After all, the heart was also a part of the body. 

Brown eyes suddenly flickered in his direction, sharp and piercing. "Erwin, you claimed him, didn't you." 

Erwin inclined his head and answered truthfully. There was no point in having to lie. "I did."

The only sound was the stutter of breath, a choked-off gasp on the other side of Eren's bed. Levi was angry. It had been such a long time that Erwin inspired such rage in the other man, the first time when they first met each other and he forced Levi to join the Legion with his friends as hostages. 

Erwin was aware that he took everything from Levi once. His only regret now was it was Levi he had to take from again. Regardless who Eren chose to be with, Erwin would also do the same. 

"Why didn't you let him claim you back?" Erwin's neck was smooth and bare, visible to the world. "His body has accepted your mark. He's accepted you as his Alpha."

"I want him to make his choice." Erwin answered simply. "I made my intentions known, that's all."

"And marking him was the only way you could do that?" Levi's voice was colder than ice. Erwin raised an eyebrow at Levi, hearing the barely concealed rage in his tone.

"I don't do things halfway, Levi." _Unlike you_ , and it was a completely low blow. Levi's jaw clenched, and the blond knew it was only through sheer force of will that held the other man back. But this time, Erwin would fight back. 

Hanji narrowed their eyes further and it reminded Erwin on just how serious Hanji could really be, how terrifying they were if you pushed them to their limits. The Legion, despite its eccentricities, were full of battle-hardened veterans, who wouldn't hesitate to slit anyone's throat if they had to. "You know that claiming marks are a two-way ritual. The fact that Eren didn't establish a connection with you is making his body fall into stress. His mind is seeking the other half of the link that isn't there and it's causing him physical pain."

"I know." Erwin said simply, because he did know. "But the mark wouldn't take if Eren completely rejected me. You know that as well, Hanji."

_A claiming between two people would immediately make their biology perfectly fit for one another, regardless of class._ It was a fact not many people knew, one Erwin used to his favor. Alpha/Omega and Beta/Beta pairs were simply the most compatible of all the classes due to their maximized potentials for childbirth, but that didn't mean it was impossible for Betas to have an Alpha or an Omega, even for an Alpha or Omega to have the same class for a mate. A claiming stabilizes the connection between mated partners, making them the most compatible for the other. True, a Beta and an Omega would have lower chances of having a family, but if Levi had claimed Eren first, even without knowing, Erwin would've lost. As mates, Levi could help Eren through his heats without the repercussions of their classes.

And despite the compatibility of their bodies, a claiming was also subject to will. Had Eren completely rejected him that moment Erwin had asked him to, any claim Erwin would make on him wouldn't take effect, no matter what Erwin did to him, even if he helped Eren through his heat. 

Eren's heart was wavering as well. That meant Erwin still had an opportunity, one that he took advantage of the moment it was presented. It was a gamble between what he knew of their classes, his knowledge of Eren's heart, and Eren's true feelings for him, and he won.

With all gambles, there was also something he lost. 

"What does this mean for Eren, Squad Leader?" Ackerman spoke up for the first time, staring between the two men with an undefinable emotion in her dark eyes. He was forcing Eren's hand to choose him or risk instability, and all of them knew it. 

"A-Ah..." Eren moaned in his sleep, causing the conversation to stop and focus on the brunet, who was starting to stir from his uneasy sleep.

"Eren?" Ackerman was stroking his hair, Arlert leaning over him and saying, "Eren, are you awake? It's me, it's Armin, and Mikasa's here too. Are you okay?" 

Eren slowly opened his eyes, blue-green irises fevered and heavy-lidded as it roamed between the faces of his siblings. But he moved his hand away from Arlert's grip and turned his head to Erwin's direction. He reached up, arm straining as tears beaded the corner of his eyes. 

"A-A...Al...Alpha..."

The whisper was a sudden gunshot in the stillness of the room. Erwin didn't look at Levi, certain of the shock and pain in his eyes, because this wasn't a battle, and it wasn't victory. He moved closer, sidestepping Arlert to sit on the bed. His only focus was on his Omega, pulling the younger man up and into his arms, to soothe the suffering he was feeling. 

"Eren, I'm here. Shh, I'm here." Eren was sobbing, tanned arms wrapped tightly around his neck in a possessive grip as Erwin cradled Eren to his chest, pressing his head to his neck, letting Eren inhale his scent until the pain subsided, until his mind registered that his Alpha was there and not letting go. Erwin could feel the press of Eren's teeth against his neck, the slight sting as the skin was nipped but it didn't sink in. For now, his presence should be enough to stabilize Eren until he was himself again. He could feel their stares, two shocked, one grim, and last so full of hurt and cold fury. 

Erwin merely pressed his nose to Eren's hair and breathed in his scent, ignoring everyone but the one in his arms. It was the only time Erwin allowed himself to be selfish, and his greediness knew no bounds.

Even if it meant taking away the love of the man Erwin considered one of his closest friends.

"Let's go." He dimly heard Hanji tell the rest of the room and they all shuffled out, one by one until it was only the two of them left.

"Eren has to claim the Commander. It's the only way for him to be stabilized. His body already accepted the claiming mark. If this one-sided connection goes on, I don't know what would happen to him." He heard Hanji saying as they all walked away. "At worst, Eren would break completely. Without the claiming bond, Eren would be in even more pain than he is now. " 

Eren's instincts had made their choice.

* * *

Levi couldn't breathe.

"Levi." He could feel himself being pulled away, but his eyes couldn't look away, not at the sight of his lover clinging to his best friend and crying, ignoring his presence completely. The rational part of him knew it was because of the unfinished claiming, that Eren was just simply unstable and needed Erwin to ground him, but it was still a punch to the gut.

Eren didn't ask for him. Eren didn't reject Erwin. He had thought that they were stronger than this, that anything their bodies felt would pale in comparison to what they felt inside. He was a fool to think that they could win against destiny, that they had a chance of being together. 

A Beta and an Omega was never be meant to be.

"Levi." Hanji's voice was gentle as they steered him out of the laboratory. "Levi, don't look anymore."

"No." The answer was bit out, and Levi forced himself to continue looking, to completely take in his defeat at the hands of the other man again. To know that he had lost everything.

"Levi... you have to let him go. I know it's hard, but..."

"If you know what's good for you, you'll shut up, shitty-glasses." Levi said coldly. 

"Corporal." Armin Arlert was staring at him. "I know you love Eren. And he told me, multiple times, that his heart only beats for you."  

"Armin..." Ackerman's tone was warning, a hand on his shoulder, but the smaller blond shook her off and stopped in front of him, saluting with all the bravado and determination of a soldier who knew they were going to be punished for what they were going to say but they were going to do it anyway. 

"I beg you. Let him go to the Commander. I'd rather..." Arlert's breath hitched, but he continued. "I'd rather have him alive and without the person he loves than to be in pain with you."

"Armin!" Ackerman exclaimed, pulling him back. "Don't ask something like that! Not now!"  

Levi closed his eyes and exhaled a deep breath. His eyes stung. Fuck. He was so fucking exhausted. He shouldn't be thinking like this right now, not when his heart just shattered into a million pieces, but he was right. They were both right. 

Eren was claimed. In any way you look at it, Eren wasn't his anymore. Granted, it wasn't a complete marking, but Erwin got to him first. And Eren accepted him. Being with Eren now would only cause pain for both of them, any romantic relationship paled in comparison to a claiming mark. No matter what he felt for Eren, or for Erwin, there was only one thing he could do.

"...No."

He would never risk Eren's life for anything. Levi would kill himself first.

"You're... right."

Levi would rather be far away from him, to watch Eren from a distance and let him be with another man, than to see him so close to death again.

"Arlert..."

Even if it meant hurting Eren, making Eren hate him...

"You have my word."

He had to let Eren go. 


	12. Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truths are always hard to swallow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three words.
> 
> I. AM. BACK!!!
> 
> I am so, so sorry for the late update, real life was a total bitch, I resigned from work, I had a lot of things going on for me. And honestly, I started to lose some interest in the fandom since only the manga's updating. Thankfully the movie came out and even if it's, pardon my French, a fucking poor excuse of a live-action movie, it motivated me enough to actually finish this damn chapter. Another reason is that I already have Event A and Event C planned in my head, but I don't have an Event B to link them together, which caused me to say "fuck it" and not touch this for a couple of weeks. But I made it, it is done. 
> 
> So enjoy it, my darlings! The next chapter, I've already got down. 
> 
> I got this.
> 
> Also, I have a [tumblr](http://equinoxsolstice.tumblr.com).

Eren was floating.

It was strange, this feeling of weightlessness, of being in a limbo. He was held by everything and nothing, placed between anywhere and nowhere. It wasn't neither dark nor light, not exactly, not even shades of grey. A place devoid of color and feeling, if Eren needed to describe it. However, it was a welcome respite to the pain he felt earlier, the excruciating, body-shattering hurt that enveloped his inside and refused to let go, even squeezing tighter than a vice.

He wondered what was happening to him, of what his future would be once he opened his eyes back to reality. Eren supposed he should be more worried, but he could only feel a sense of vague detachment, an indifferent curiosity despite his life almost literally hanging in the balance. Being in this unidentifiable place was comforting; he didn't have to think about anyone else, just him and him alone and what would be the best for him.

Could he stay here forever? He vaguely wondered. The real world was too painful, too complicated. Here he had his own forever, a space of constant infinity where no one could hurt him, no one would make him sad, or worried anymore.

Then again, he wouldn't feel happiness anymore, or contentment. Could he live like this? Never coming, never going, just being.

He raised his hand, trying to reach for something, finding nothing. His hand was so pale, in contrast to his surroundings, something that niggled an indistinct sense of worry in him. What he would give to have a mirror right now. What would his face look like? Cold fingers touched his cheek, ice crackling under his skin.

What expression would he be wearing right now?

_Eren._

The sound of his name made him look around, trying to peer into the void. The sound of his name surrounded him completely, said by a voice so painfully familiar and not, at the same time. He gasped, grasped at his chest as his heart gave a single throb, almost shattering his ribs in its movement.

What... was this feeling?

_Come back._

No, Eren didn't want to go. He didn't want to be hurt anymore, he didn't want to cry. He didn't want to face them, to see his face and see the damage he had done. It was cowardly, but he was so afraid.

He had betrayed, he had hurt, and now, he was afraid to go back.

Eren turned around, and screamed.

It was his Titan form, staring back at him, inhumanly bright eyes that was so similar to his own. Wild, savage, free. Its long dark hair framed its face, jaw bared in the slightest hint of a manic grin. Its muscular body looked imposing, beautiful in its own unique way. Eren had never seen himself in Titan form before, the fact that he knew what he looked like even without seeing it first-hand was astonishing.

Go away, go away, his mind yelled, and he too, was moving before he knew it, legs scrambling for purchase to be as far away from the Titan as he could. Kill it, kill it, a voice in his mind whispers viciously, but Eren was rooted on the spot, held by sheer, indescribable terror.

Why? Why did he fear this Titan so much?

But the Rogue Titan merely tilted its head, roaring when that dark, sweet voice called out his name again.

_Eren. Come back to me._

With wide eyes, Eren stared at the Rogue, who exhaled and went on all fours, prowling away from him, and towards the direction of the voice. It searched, it roamed, screaming in frustration when the voice called his name again. It clenched its fists, swung its arms around, fighting an enemy Eren couldn't see. Long, long, it looked, from the sky to the earth, and when it found nothing it tilted its head upwards and let out a screech of pure melancholy and despair, shattering Eren's heart into a million pieces.

Why did he feel so sad? Eren felt the tears brimming to his eyes, the slide of one on his cheek. He was sobbing, Eren realized later, the heel of his palms pressing against his face to stop the continuous flow of tears, breaths leaving in quiet gasps. Misery. Sorrow.

It's indescribably painful.

Vibrant, poison-green eyes meet his own, and the Rouge Titan turned, slowly moving towards him. In an instant fear gripped his heart, tinged with desperation and longing. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe as the Rouge prowled closer, steam escaping from its gaping maw.

Who... are you looking for? Despite himself, he wanted to know. The Titan finally stopped in front of him, looking down on him in a way that made Eren feel so small. Eren couldn't understand, didn't get why the Titan was looking at him like that, that it could even look like that in the first place.

His hand was slowly rising, trying to touch, wanting to understand, despite his fear. The Rouge wasn't moving, and Eren wanted it to, wanted it to reach out also, wanted it to meet him halfway. So close and yet, so far.

_Please, tell me..._

Fingertips outstretched, getting closer, and closer to that wall of solid muscle.

_Who..._

Meters. Centimeters. Millimeters.

_... do I...?_

* * *

Eren opened his eyes to sunlight and the scent of mixing chemicals.

He groaned quietly, trying to bury his head in the pillows, wincing at the light now abusing his irises. He still felt like shit, but for the first time in a long time, he actually felt _better_. Well enough to actually sit up and not yell out in pain. The throb on his neck had lessened now to an irritating prickle, and his head was startlingly clear. He felt almost normal. He pressed a palm to his face, wiping the traces of sweat on his skin as he gingerly tried to sit up. What happened? The last thing he remembered was going down to Hanji's laboratory, then...

Pain. Darkness.

_A beastly roar._

A hand was on his arm immediately, slowly helping him up. "Eren? Are you awake?"

The voice was familiar, cool and refreshing, and Eren instantly warmed up to it, snapping his head towards its direction and managing a smile.

The smile on lips immediately dropped, the shock of seeing who stayed at his side completely making him speechless.

"C-Commander..."

Conflicting feelings. On one hand, sharp, piercing disappointment. At the other, warm, surprising happiness bubbling up in his chest. Eren straightened himself quickly, blanket pooling at his hips as he stared, wide-eyed, at Erwin Smith. Why was he here? Did he just arrive? Was he watching Eren all this time?

"Are you all right now?" Erwin asked gently, moving closer and sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at him with such concern it made Eren's chest tighten painfully. The back of his neck felt hot and he barely stopped himself from covering it up with a hand.  This is bad... Eren thought, biting his lip. He was completely flustered, so aware of himself now, of his quickening breaths, of the instant heat that flared under his skin. He could barely answer, immediately looking down at his fingers, which were clenched tightly around the sheets. He couldn't look at Erwin, not after everything. But he could still feel the man's gaze on him, the lingering contact between their bare flesh stretching the time to minutes, days, eons, when merely seconds had passed.

"Yes." Eren eventually said, trying to take a quick glance around them to see if someone else was also with them. The closed door and the continuing stillness told him otherwise, and Eren barely managed to stop himself from screaming. Why did he always end up like this, being alone with the Commander?

The last time he did ended with a broken heart and crushing guilt.  

"I'm glad." The Commander said simply, dropping his hold, and Eren summoned the courage to make eye contact with  the man, but nothing had prepared him for what he saw.

"Commander, your face...!"

The Commander didn't look as impeccably handsome as he usually did. Blond hair tousled, face bruised, clothes unkempt... he looked like he had just finished a grueling expedition: exhausted, weary and sleep-deprived. Despite himself, the worry won over and the words spilled from Eren's lips before he could put a stop on it.

"Are you all right? You look terrible!"

Surprise flickered in the other man's eyes before they became warm again. "Oh, this?" Erwin touched his cheek, where the bruises had faded into a dull purple. "Don't worry, I'm feeling better. Trust me, it looks worse than it is. Levi packs quite a punch for his size." Erwin shook his head. "Never mind about me. When I heard you collapsed, I came as soon as I could." He said, voice quiet. "I was afraid for the worst."

"You mean that really happened?! I'm sorry, I--" It's my fault. Eren's stilled as the heat he felt before was instantly replaced by frost. He did this. He hurt the Corporal, and he caused the Commander pain.      

His breath stuttered at the sudden thought of the Corporal.

“Where’s--?” He glanced around, hoping against hope that, maybe, he was around, that he still cared enough to look after him like all those times Eren was unconscious after Titan training. Levi had always been there when he closed his eyes and there when he woke--

"Ah, Levi? He left." Erwin glanced at the door, glancing at the now closed door. "He was in here a while ago, but he left once I came. Hanji would have attended to you, but they had some pressing duties to attend to first. " He said, voice apologetic, as if being personally looked after by the Commander of the Scouting Legion was a poor excuse for a replacement when they both knew that not all of the soldiers had the honor.

But he wasn't who Eren was looking for.

He left. It felt like a physical punch. Eren choked, wrapping his arms around his torso as the cold pierced deeper into his chest, the crackle of ice digging into his heart.

He didn't stay.

Eren didn’t think it was possible for his heart to break again, but it did.

"Why?" He finally asked, voice barely above a whisper as the emotions he was so desperately keeping inside finally cracked and crumbled. He couldn't take this anymore. Between losing the man he loved and being claimed by the man he didn't, Eren didn't know what to do anymore. "Why did you do it?!" He yelled, knuckles white and face pale. "I trusted you! I didn't want to be--! I never wanted to be--!"

_I never wanted to be yours._ Eren choked, fingers digging into his palms, eyes brimming with unshed tears. He struck out, slamming his fist into the Commander's chest. It was a pathetic attempt of a punch but the Commander didn't stop him, let him continue beating him because both of them knew that it was the only thing he could do, the only way Eren could retaliate. The Commander had no right to claim him, Eren had never wanted an Alpha. He was sobbing, he couldn’t hear his own voice with with the harsh hiccups wracking his body.

"Take it back! Please take it back! I thought you--I thought you loved me!"

And the instant it left his lips, Eren regretted it. He had no fucking right to call him out like that, to use Erwin's feelings for him like that, because Eren didn't feel the same way. He was disgusted with himself for saying it, for sinking that low. He gasped, instantly wanting to apologize, to say that he didn’t mean it because, in the deepest corners of his heart, he knew that he brought this upon himself.

Because he wasn’t strong enough.

"I'm--"

Whatever words he was going to say was lost when the Commander's face hardened and his arms were gripped harshly, his back harshly pressed against the bed while Erwin towered over him, a thigh between his legs and his wrists pinned above him by one hand.

"NO!" Eren tried to get loose, squirming and fighting with all he had, but he was exhausted, and the Commander's hands were like iron chains, keeping him in place.

His face was tilted up forcefully, and Eren immediately shut his eyes, didn't want to look, didn't want to feel violated like this. "Look at me." Erwin growled and Eren immediately stilled. Fear. It lodged in his throat, making him unable to speak. Never had he felt this powerless, this weak, the feeling of being put in his place stinging badly. It was a harsh lesson to learn.

When he finally opened his eyes, he was met with pools of dark blue, and Eren knew he was drowning.

"If I loved you any less I'll take you as my Omega right here and now." Erwin said quietly, and he could, Eren realized with bated breath. As an Alpha he could bend Eren's will easily, use his influence to make Eren accept him with just a few chosen words and it was terrifying, the thought of losing his choice and free will. It was a threat as much as it was fact, that right there and then that he could be a claimed Omega without anyone knowing and Eren would have no way to say no.

W-What...? What did the Commander mean when he said--?

"If you didn't accept me, in any way or form, then that mark will never form on your neck." Erwin continued, their faces so close, and they had been so much closer before. Memories came back unbidden and Eren's breath stopped, suddenly remembering the taste of his tongue, the shape of his lips, the timbre of his voice with razor-sharp precision. They always said that it was different when you go through your heat with someone else. The scent of him blanketed him from all sides, cloying and seductive, luring him closer, deeper into the Alpha's allure.

"So I made you mine."

"But I don't love you!" Eren yelled, fingers curling around the Commander's as fresh tears started to stream down his face. He turned away, humiliated and ashamed, because he was so weak, his mind was turning blank, his body suddenly aching to be touched-- for his Alpha's touch. His heart hammered, head heady, body slowly but surely yielding. Was it always going to be like this? Because he was already claimed by this person? To feel so helpless, to want to lean into Erwin's chest and forget everything else but them?

"Please don't do this to me."

It was a desperate plea, one that Eren had no shame in whispering. Like this, it was so easy to let go, because he didn’t want to decide anymore. He didn’t know what to choose, if there was even a choice in the first place.

All he wanted was Levi. It wasn’t a simple wish, but he managed to make it come true, even with the complications that arose because of their mismatching classes. Levi was comfort, he was security, and with him Eren was always calm, always happy. With Levi it was okay to hold his hand, because he knew Levi would simply hold his back, and even if one of them let go, they would always find a way to hold each other again.

Erwin had always been different. Never had Eren felt a want to be possessed, but with Erwin it was stupidly easy, to be chained to his side, to never be let go. It was an obsession Eren knew he could live with, because it had passion, it had desire. Erwin could hold Eren against his body, could create marks and scar him for eternity because Eren knew it would burn. And he would love it, and he would never, ever be able to leave Erwin’s side.

To be with, or to be his. Eren had always thought that they were the same thing, and only now did he realize that they were complete opposites of each other.   

Erwin sighed, resting his head on Eren’s collarbone instead, his grip on Eren loosening, and finally falling away.

"Be mine." The Commander murmured against his neck, hot breath ghosting against the claiming mark. "I'll take care of you. I'll love you the same as Levi does, even more. I'll treasure you, protect you. Please." Strong, steady arms wrapped around his waist, their bodies sinking completely into the bed and Eren knew he had been held like this before, with this bone-melting, heart-breaking gentleness. "It doesn't matter if you're still in love with him. Use me. Use me until you've fallen in love with me instead. I don't mind."

He could. Eren squeezed his eyes shut, temptation so blissfully close. Slowly, the words were already forming, ready to slip past his lips. Eventually he raised his arms, wrists throbbing with a pleasurable ache that screamed mineminemine, because he knew he could try. Erwin was so inviting, so warm. He could wake up every morning like this and be content for the rest of his life. Levi already left him, and it was his fault for not being strong enough to resist. Erwin was here, he was willing, and Eren could fall for him. He was tired. He didn't want to feel like this anymore. Erwin would take care of him, Eren knew that, and with time, he could forget Levi.

If Eren didn’t know what choice he should make, then he’ll let his Commander choose for him.  

Yes. I accept.

_I'll be your Omega._

Eren closed his eyes.

**_Levi smirking, glancing back at him when Eren, bewildered, didn't follow._ **

**_"Brat, don't just stand there, let's go."_ **

His fingers stopped a millimeter from touching the short, blond locks.

_**Levi running, blades out and cutting through Titan flesh like warm butter.** _

_**"Jaeger! Don't lose yourself now, you fucking idiot!"** _

His hands trembled.

**_Levi kicking him across the face multiple times, making the blood spurt out and scatter on the tiled floor._ **

**_"Pain is the best training for discipline. ... He's no match for me anyway."_ **

His chest stuttered, lips quivering as he inhaled a shaky breath.

_**Levi slapping the back of his head with the towel, scowling.** _

**_"You call this clean?! Wash the floor again, and I want it spotless!"_ **

"I..."

_**Levi smiling gently, pressing their foreheads together, rough, calloused fingers touching his cheek gently.** _

_**"Me too, Eren. Me too."** _

Memories, moments that he and Levi shared, small and precious, and all the more priceless.  

Something inside Eren broke down.

With every ounce of his strength, Eren let his arms fall to the sides, feeling the conviction that resonated from the deepest core of his soul. It hurt. It hurt so much he felt like dying, but he couldn't do it. It might be pathetic, because he hurt Levi too much, broke his trust completely, but... he was still... He raised an arm, threw it to cover his face. Something wet and hot stung his eyes, trickled down his face anew.

He couldn't do it.

His voice trembled, the final leaf breaking away from the branch, softly fluttering towards the ground.

"I'm sorry, Commander. I... I love Levi."

The arms that gripped his waist instantly tightened, making Eren gasp--tight, too tight, couldn't breathe--when the other man raised his head up, looking deeply into his eyes, probing into the very deepest parts of his core. Stripped him bare and naked, open to the intense, searching gaze he was giving to him.

The arm under him slipped away, hand reaching for his face, and Eren flinched, terror gripping his heart, but the touch wasn't forceful. His palm caressed, revering, wiping away the track of tears at the side of his face, fingers slipping themselves through his hair, thumb lingering at the bottom of his eye. Eren couldn't look away, didn't think he had the strength to, clinging to the Commander's jacket like a lifeline.

"Search your feelings, Eren." Their lips were brushing, and the rough, calloused fingers were moving down, tracing his ear, his jaw, his neck. Brushing against the claiming mark, his touch igniting the heat the moment it sparked. Eren's breath stopped as his heart ceased beating, confused, wondering why the Commander was seemingly memorizing every part of him, fearing that he couldn't refuse the other man if he asked again.

"Because I won't give up on you.... not when you still feel something for me too." With one last fleeting kiss, one that made Eren shiver and close his eyes, he was let go, the Commander’s warm body on him disappearing as a pair of boots sounded on the wooden floor, walking away until he heard the familiar sound of an opening and closing door.

He made his choice. He chose Levi. He should be relieved, happy even that until the end, he managed to hold on to his self-control.

But... why did it still hurt, seeing the well-disguised pain in the Commander's eyes?

Eren chased after him. He knew he did, felt his chest moving up, his head tilting up to catch another kiss that was never given, leaving him with tingling lips, flushed cheeks, and a racing heart.

He didn’t like it. He didn’t like the weight of the Commander on top of him, caging and pinning him down with nowhere to go. He didn’t like the way his heart raced, the way his wrists ached with a dulling throb because it should be tighter, it should be harsher. He didn’t like the way his body arched, yearning for more more more. It was wrong, it didn’t want this, he chose Levi!

_I won't give up on you.... not when you feel something for me too._

Eren wanted him, at the very depths of his heart.

As the epiphany crashed over him, he continued to stare up the ceiling before throwing an arm over his face. He thought that he didn’t have anymore tears to shed, but he was wrong, a new splash of wetness trickling down his cheek.

_I don't know what I feel for you anymore._

* * *

It was time.

Eren stared at the older man, trying to make sure that he heard right, because this was impossible, it couldn’t be, he should have known this was coming but not now, it was too soon--

The only thing he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears, Levi’s voice ringing in his mind.

“I can’t be with you anymore, Eren.”


End file.
